


Games of Seduction

by macabrecabra



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Fratricide, Brotherhood, By chapter seven it just gets feel crushing, Depression, Family deaths, First Time Sex, First time with a man, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Prompt Fic, Self Harm Issues, Slow Burn, Thoughts of Suicide, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, but I promise a good ending, feel crushes, infection from wounds, learning healthy coping, relationship building, shenanigans a plenty, some gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 64,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7586734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macabrecabra/pseuds/macabrecabra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, there is just as much thrill in the hunt and the chase as there is in the final victory. That is the lesson Genji learns when he finds himself  finding a new target for his fancies in the shape of Gabriel Reyes. The only problem is it was a game forbidden, a love destined to ruin, and a family falling apart as the lines of strife are drawn.</p><p>Lives changes and lives pass, but through it all, the game endures, the chase remains, and every set back only makes it all worth the fight to continue on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a prompt someone submitted. Then people asked for more chapters and it sort of evolved into this little fic. I'm sort of proud of this one and how it is paced so putting it up here as well as on my tumblr. 
> 
> Also there was another NSFW chapter requested coming for the sixth part so.... figured I put it all up together here > u >

Genji had seen many things in his life via the power of the internet. He had explored the vast quantities of images of scandalous women and men, delved deep into the world of shameful sin and come out with new eyes upon the world, but he hadn’t really felt anything that he thought would make him question his tastes.

He was a young man, a modest twenty years of age ad had his fair share of girlfriends with a passing interest in men he hadn’t really bothered to explore or had a desire to do so. Pictures of men and movies of men were just that. Media. Like most media, it did very little to actually arouse Genji’s interest other than a passing look, thus his interests in men had been buried easily under assurances of it being a passing fancy.

It took seeing perfect masculinity in the flesh for his senses to have their great awakening to the world of possibility that he had so long denied.

Genji had been lounging on the beach next to his brother in the shade, eyeing up the potential candidates for a passing torrid affair of passion on the sunny Californian beach. Being alone with only his brother’s company on this trip did not sit well with his social needs. He wanted a lover, even if it was a temporary one, to waste the vacation time with. It was either that or going to art museums with Hanzo to stare at artwork and pretend he understood the “deeper meanings” of things. He had been about to throw in the towel and lower his standards for his partner on this trip when “he” had walked by.

The man, tall, dark skinned, muscled perfectly to the smallest crevice of sculpted mastery wearing a tight speedo that hugged a firm posterior with just enough cushion to accentuate those rippling, supple thighs, and a cold look of disinterest as if he was a damn God of men walking among dogs, was an answer to every playboy’s dream of a perfect partner.

The young Shimada sat there, staring, eyes growing wide as he lowered his sunglasses with one hand and gave a noisy slurp from the fancy iced drink he had been casually sipping.

Something inside Genji in that moment felt like it awoke.

Solemnly he set down the drink and sat up, crossing his arms as he watched this mysterious stranger head down to the water with some white young blond American with a god awful farmer’s tan, eyes narrowing.

“Ani-ja. I’ve come to a realization that you must know for I am not going to hide who I am,” Genji said solemnly, not looking towards his brother.

Hanzo didn’t even bother to look up from his book, “What is it this time?”

 

“I think I really, really like men,” Genji confessed.

The Elder Shimada looked over at Genji, lowering his shades to stare unimpressed at Genji before turning back to his book with a shake of his head, not surprised.

Genji heaved a loud sigh, flopping back some to give his brother a near pout giving a shove to his brother’s chair, “I’m being serious Hanzo. I like men. I want to know that you won’t kick me out or something because I, Genji Shimada, your brother, want to go down right now and hit on a guy beacuase I want to-”

“Genji, I’ve been considering you like men since we were children and you wanted to be the wife of every handsome male actor and would cry when you were told they were already married or dead,” Hanzo drawled, not looking up from his book, “Besides, I’m on vacation and I do not care what you get up to, as long as you don’t end up in prison. I do not have to care about the fate of the clan when I’m on a two week departure from those affairs,”

Genji just stared at Hanzo some, a faint flush rising to his cheeks before he grumbled, flipping his sunglasses back up and getting to his feet, “Damn you and your privy to my most vulnerable childhood moments,”

“And damn you for always being an embarrassment that I forever have to bare,” Hanzo returned with a snort.

With a scowl, Genji left behind his brother as he stepped into the sun and made his way down the beach towards the water. Quickly he summoned up every hint of charm he had, the confident smile quickly finding its way onto his face as he waltz down to the beach front. He paused to put his hands on his hips as if surveying the ocean like it was his domain before quickly locating his target.

The man in question was alone now, up to the waist in the water and just cooling off no doubt from wherever he had been lounging as if the king of the California beach, overlooking his empire of sweaty, muscled men and women bathed in the sheen of tanning oil and adorned with clinging swimsuits and flipflops.

The young Japanese man flipped up his sunglasses to let his gaze rove along the muscular form of the man before wading in himself, playing it off as if he too was just cooling off. He took off his sunglasses completely before ducking below the water, coming up with a rather dramatic flare, using his free hand to push his hair back out of his face with relish. In that moment, Genji knew he looked like a perfectly poised, handsome model of Japanese pop star. He had spent a lot of time practicing his delivery to get people to practically swoon from his very aura alone. He wouldn’t be much of a playboy if he was not desirable or able to speak well with other. Everything lay in the presentation. Casually, Genji casted a look towards the man that was his newest fancy.

He seemed to have noticed. At the very least he was looking at Genji. The young man practically preened under the attention, giving a smirk and arching an eyebrow, keeping his hand busy mussing up his hair more.

“The weather is nice today,” Genji spoke first, picking an easy topic to have a slight discussion on.

The man gave a shrug, “Typical weather,” He murmured, “You must be a tourist,”

“Pretty sure the accent gives that away,” Genji gave a soft chuckle, moving closer, “I’ll confess I don’t know much of the area though,”

“I’m not giving tours,” The man growled out, eyeing Genji, “Not to strangers,”

“Well if that is the case, I’m Genji Shimada and if not a tour, could I ask you out on a date?” he pressed, giving a smile.

There was a long pause of silence and the man was giving Genji an odd look as he crossed his arms across his broad chest, “Do you know who I am?”

Genji just tilted his head, “I doubt knowing who you are is going to change the fact I want to ask you out on a date, but I would like to know your name,”

Another long pause of silence stretched between them, broken up by the sound of the ocean before at length, the beautiful stranger finally said his name, “Gabriel Reyes,”

The way he said his ‘rs with that Spanish roll had Genji positively shivering However the name itself sunk in quickly as Genji just stared at the object of his affections. An object of affection that was also the greatest threat to his family and pretty much a sworn enemy. A man that was a commander of a branch of Overwatch that worked to overthrow his family entirely. A cloud of thoughts filled Genji’s mind as his brow furrowed. He pursed his lips in thoughts while Gabriel just gave a snort, turning away, “Thought so,”

Really, pursuing Gabriel would be unwise and be getting into that territory of no that would get Hanzo more than a little upset. However the possibilities that could be done in a short period of time….

“No, no, no,” Genji corrected, shaking his head as he waded up beside Gabriel, hooking his arm around one of Gabriel’s biceps causing the man to tense up, “Being you are a sworn enemy of my clan is not the issue no. The issue is me getting away from my bodyguards so we can go to a bar and then afterwards you can fake kidnap me for some in depth interrogation in your bedroom,”

The young Shimada flashed a grin to Reyes. The stoic look that had been on the Overwatch agent’s face was gone and replaced by an expression of shock and a clear tinge of a blush as he stared at Genji. Genji just responded with a grin and a wink, “What? Would you rather it was me who fake kidnapped you for interrogations? I have more experience being in control. Maybe stage an escape to turn the tables on me and put me in my place for thinking I could break you?”

The only response he got was Gabriel quickly pulling away and beating a hasty retreat to the shoreline. Genji watched him go and gave a chuckle, watching where the man headed to on the beach and planning his neck move.

Gabriel Reyes.

This really would be a fun chase and a perfect forbidden little affair to pursue for his first forays into the realm of same sex relations.


	2. Chapter 2

The first step in seduction was always observation and making small mental notes of the preferences the person had and Genji prided himself on this skill. With a few minutes of watching, he could pick out those small details of a person that spoke volumes to their likes, dislikes, and hobbies.

He had always been able to easily strike up conversations with people to get them talking about themselves freely and then become so shocked when it turned out Genji “knew” something about their favorite shows. Being a quote unquote “playboy” did mean he had to know what to say and do to get people to be ensnared in his charm.

Gabriel Reyes though was not so easy to read.

Most of what Genji could discern was fairly basic. The man was reserved and quiet, not one for big social events, had a friend who Genji had identified easily as the infamous Jack Morrison although it seemed Reyes preferred having time to himself and two had clearly diverging interests. Yet other than those rather superficial observations, there was nothing else to really note. He wore no band shirts, only a black T-shirt and matching black jeans. His wallet was plan and his taste in alcohols was rum with ice and even then, nothing excessive. A casual drinker and kept his wits about him rather than get drunk and lose that edge.

Yet the challenge only made Genji all the more eager to speak again to the commander of Blackwatch and test his own luck and charisma against this enigma of a man.

After all, he had managed to fluster the man once.

The bar wasn’t anything special, just a typical boardwalk establishment with tacky beach themed decoration and all the drinks having names to go with the beach party theme. Genji idly sipped his own drink through a straw, planning his approach. He was going in relatively blind, not the best of moves but it wasn’t like he had any alternative.

The only way to get any glimpse of who Gabriel Reyes was, was to engage the man in the field.

Genji rose to his feet and made his way to the bar with his usual cocky air. He had gone for a more simple look for the evening, dark greens and blacks, not someone to stand out and had even painstakingly removed the green dye from his hair although he still wore it in his usual style. He wanted to look more towards the aesthetics of distinguished reserved Reaper seemed to exude.

Gabriel glanced over barely as Genji took the seat beside him, the Japanese man leaning forward to rest his elbows on the bar, “You never did answer me from before, did you?” Genji began, giving a teasing look, “I suppose I came on too strong for your delicate sensitivities?”

“More I was taken aback by how stupid you must be to hit on someone who wants to rip your clan apart,” Gabriel responded, eyes narrowing in a suspicious look, “And that you actually are approaching me again,”

“You are intriguing and let’s be fair,” Genji gave a gesture around the bar, “There isn’t anyone else in your league,”

Gabriel cast a look about, giving a snort and turning back to his drink with a smirk, “That’s true. No one here is in my league. Including you,”

Genji blinked. So he was good at snapping back although Genji berated himself internally for leaving such an obvious hole in his approach. He just chuckled, and smoothly delivered his recovery, “Who said you were in my league?”

“I don’t play in the kiddy leagues so clearly I’m not in your league,” Gabriel responded, still smirking as he took a sip of his drink.

The smirk though made it clear though to Genji that he was dealing with someone who had an ego. A rather large one. He had a lot of confidence and pride that he didn’t bother to hide. A weakness in the cold armor that could exploited with enough care.

“Maybe you could show me then how to play in the big leagues with the big boys like you? I’m a very quick learner. I’m perhaps getting tired of being in my closed in little world,” Genji gave a small smile, leaning in some, “I won’t lie and say I haven’t admired your work,”

The Blackwatch commander’s attention was on Genji more now with that line dropped. He turned to face the younger Shimada, “Thinking about career changes then?”

“Perhaps,” Genji responded, giving a teasing, coy smile as he tilted his head some, “But would have to take a good deal of convincing to make me want to speak a little more vocally of my secrets,”

The smirk grew a little more pronounce on Gabriel’s face as he leaned in, one hand moving over to slide a finger over Genji’s arm lightly, “I’m sure I could get you to talk,”

“I might come on strong, but I am not easy to break or convince. I know those games too well, Reyes,” Genji all but purred, eyes narrowing as he just smiled back, leaning in closer, “And you would be putting yourself at risk to perhaps speak too much to me in moments of passion,”

“I highly doubt you could pull that off,” Gabriel retorted, keeping his eyes on Genji’s won.

The two of them were only inches apart and Genji felt his heart practically leap into his throat at the prospect before him. If he leaned in a bit more, he could kiss the other man easily.

It would be the first man he ever dare kiss.

A thousand questions rose in his mind about how it would feel and if it would feel any different than a woman’s kiss. Would it be too rough? What would facial hair even feel like tickling against his skin?

That giddiness was bubbling up all but tensing his entire posture like he was ready for a fight. Genji’s tongue darted over his lips lightly in anticipation of what could happen. Gabriel seemed to pick up on that energy, that smirk only widening as he leaned in, now only centimeters away and his voice dropping to a low husky growl, “This your first time or something brat?”

“With a man,” Genji admitted, “This sort of thing I’ve done with women but I’m always willing to try new things,”

“You would love it if I kissed you right now then? Pushed you against the bar while I did it before staring a hot trail down that pretty neck of yours?” Gabriel asked, eyes narrowing to near slits.

Genji felt a hot rush go through his entire body as a part of his brain screamed out a loud yes to everything Gabriel was talking about, already imagining what it would feel like. That giddy anxiety continued to grow in tandem with the heat building in his stomach like a waking nest of serpentine dragons, lashing about in anger and wanting to be free.

“That’s not all I would love for you to do to me,” Genji responded in a breathy whisper.

Gabriel just tiled his head, smirking as he drew closer and Genjij shivered at the hot breath against his lips, already parted some as he inched in as well, eyes sliding closed in anticipation for the kiss. He felt the hand on his chin and then-

“Come back when you get into the big leagues, brat,” Gabriel drawled, pulling away.

Genji’s eyes flew open as he sat their, his face a picture of confusion and shock as he watched Gabriel leave.

He had been played. He had literally lost at his own game and been put to shame. Genji sat their staring at the door long after Gabriel had left not sure how to feel. That is, until it turned out that Gabriel had left before paying the tab and it more or less got dropped on Genji to cover. Paying for his drink, teased about a kiss, and then denied.

Genji felt more than a little cheated and that is when the anger and embarrassment welled up.The walk back to the hotel was a long, silent, fuming slow burn of personal shame at his defeat.

Hanzo had just glanced up with an arched eyebrow as Genji stormed in, smirking some, “Aw, did someone get away from you?”

 

“Not in the mood Hanzo!” Genji snapped, “Not in the mood!”

“Must have been a really pretty girl if you are getting this vindicated,” Hanzo commented, shaking his head.

“Not a girl! A guy! I was hitting on a guy and hrrggnnnn!” Genji just stalked into the bathroom slamming the door, “Fuck you Hanzo!”

He ignored the laughter of his brother as he stripped himself down, glowering in the mirror at himself for being a fool. He had started the stalk but Gabriel had gotten the kill.

This time at least.

Genji took a breath to steady himself, gripping the edge of the vanity to stare at himself in the mirror. He had to keep calm. The game wasn’t over. Gabriel had simply gotten his first victory but their was time to turn the tables and once more get the upper hand. Shimada men didn’t take defeat sitting down on their hands.

A sly smile started to creep across Genji’s features. He had more at least to work with in terms of winning this game.

Next time he wouldn’t be caught off guard by Gabriel Reyes and would leave him gaping like a shocked fish.


	3. Chapter 3

The casino was a lively place this evening, the sound of laughter filling the air as people challenged the odds ad the house, looking for a win. The roll of the dice and quick flick of cards were all familiar sounds to Genji. In his own homeland he was a frequent visitor of such establishments, more as a spectator than a player though and preferred the company of the lounges than the tables.

Tonight though, he was looking for a win and more than sure he was going to achieve it when he was on home turf.

Just because he didn’t gamble often didn’t mean he wasn’t good at it. In fact, he was rather good at the art of predicting his odds in many a game.

 

In his youth, Genji had learned more than a few card and dice games and had figured out the odds. Of all the games, Blackjack and poker had been the two games he had learned quickly. With that small, unknown advantage, Genji had entered the casino he had tracked Gabriel Reyes to, intent on paying back the Blackwatch commander for his actions the day before. Tease and deny anyone but once it was done to a Shimada who prided himself on his abilities to get his way, the dragon was sure to bare its teeth.

He had first, of course, checked out his target once more. Gabriel was beyond a doubt a gambling man. The Blackwatch commander had a clear familiarity with the games and also a habit of pushing his luck and self-assured he would be winning every game he was in. A cocky sort of attitude that could lead to trouble if continuously pushed.

There was some measure of care taken, but in the end, that recklessness seemed to come out in Gabriel when he was still so confident he could win if he simply kept playing as if it was unbelievable he could lose. A fatal flaw that Genji was going to exploit and get a leg up on the other man in their larger game.

Genji slid into the seat beside Gabriel, playing the part of the tourist, all eager and wide-eyed to be at a table, tapping the table to let the house know he was coming into the game. Even his clothing was more his casual preferences, dressing like a young punk just trying his luck.

Gabriel cast a side-ways glance his way, eyeing him silently before speaking up, “You sure you should be playing at the adult table?”

“They don’t have kiddy Blackjack I’m afraid,” Genji responded with a smile, “I think I can pull off a win or two by sheer dumb luck,”

“Dumb luck is right,” Gabriel drawled before turning back to the game as the dealer started to deal the cards.

Genji faked a slight look of irritation to hide the smirk wanting to spread across his lips. Instead, he turned to watch the dealer work their magic. It was six decks in one and counting cards would be hard. For now though, Genji was going to throw a few games, intentionally lose to play up that he was not good at the game, get Gabriel at ease of his superiority at this game and his lucky streak. Let Gabriel feel like he was winning the game and entirely in control.

Losing was harder than it looked, especially to lose as spectacularly as Genji was. He played up his frustrations, glaring and “ignoring” Gabriel’s snickers as he won round after round. Genji though could tell the other man wasn’t counting cards, just riding what luck he had been granted and not aware that nothing in this game was entirely random.

After about the fifth game of intentionally losing, Genji sat back with a huff, scowling, “Whole game is rigged!”

“Sure kid. Keep telling yourself that,” Gabriel sent a smirk towards Genji as he raked in his winnings.

“Oh please, you’ve been riding a lucky streak all evening,” Genji shot back, “In this next round, I bet I could beat you. Your luck can’t hold out that long!”

He shot Gabriel a glare, giving his best huffy, frustrated look that hid the smirk that wanted to break through. Gabriel already thought himself smarter than him. Clearly the other man thought he was more skilled and was unaware he was slowly being encircled by the coils of the young dragon.

Gabriel gave a snort, taking the bait with a smirk, “But your money where your mouth then is, brat,”

Genji gave a look to the house, “Deal us in,”

The house gave them each a look before shrugging and starting to deal the cards only to the two of them. Idly Genji let his gaze flick over the cards, every sense on high alert as he carefully began counting cards. Although not illegal, contrary to popular belief, if caught, a casino could refuse to deal and Gabriel would catch on quick. A slight glance at the other man revealed though that he was playing a straight game. A gambling man, but one who put more stock in luck and skill than in methods that could be considered cheating. The hubris in that action was not lost on Genji.

It just made it all the more easier for Genji to put his skills to their full potential.

“How about I make a bet with you. I bet your luck is about to run out and I’m going to steal victory from you,” the young man said at length, glancing to the Blackwatch commander.

Gabriel smirked, glancing over at Genji, “Sure you are. With how bad you were losing? I doubt your claims,”

“How about we make a bet? All of my money versus all of your money?” Genji suggested, looking at the other man, “Winner takes all at the reveal,”

Gabriel eyed Genji’s smaller pile of tokens, giving a snort, “Not exactly a fair trade, now is it?”

Genji smiled, leaning in some,”How about I’ll throw in this then?” He lifted up a single flash drive, tilting his head, “It contains shipping records of armaments in the Shimada family as well as some other sensitive information. More than makes up for the rest of the missing amount, yes?”

For a long moment the Blackwatch commander stared at Genji, searching him, trying to find the ploy in all of this. Genji only smiled confidentally, leaning in, “That is, unless you are scared of losing because you know you got a bad hand,” Genji drawled.

“All in then,” Gabriel growled, pushing his trips forward, “I’ll wipe that smug ass grin off your face,”

Genji just smirked as he pushed his own chips forward and looked to the house, “Let’s see the damage then,”

The result had already been known to Genji from the start. As the house revealed all, the younger man just leaned back crossing his arms as he took in the dumbstruck look on Gabriel’s face as Genji scored a perfect game, an absolutely flawless victory that assured all the winnings were now his. Genji let out a chuckle, tilting his head as Gabriel looked over at him, “Is this a bad time to tell you I’m a champion at this game in my own country and have been playing it since I was fifteen and winning?”

“You played me,” Gabriel hissed, anger and disbelief mixing together.

Genji chuckled at his reaction, racking in the tokens into a bag, “I did. I don’t realize though how well I played you,” The young Japanese man leaned across the table, a crisp pair of one hundred dollar bills now between his fingers as he handed them to the house, “I’ve done a lot of work you see making sure many of the games were rigged in my favor. Threw a few games to play upon your silly pride, then,” Genji gave a shrug, that smug smirk growing, “Had to repay the favor from yesterday with that kiss stunt. Had to let you know how it felt to be played at your own game,”

He rose to his feet as Gabriel glared, baring his teeth just a bit, “So what, you manage to swindle some money off me,”

“Not all I took from you,” Genji commented idly, raising one hand and extending a single finger where a wallet and a set of keys dangled from a ring, ““This look familiar to you?”

Gabriel’s eyes widened as he quickly patted himself down, realization dawning upon his face, “You…robbed me?!”

“I say you left it where I could easily pickpocket you so more a case of, oh how does it go?” Genji gave a wicked grin, pulling the wallet back up and with a quick flick of his hands, spirited it away into the sleeve of his jacket, “Finders keepers, losers weepers,”

Gabriel made a move towards Genji only for the young man to step back, ducking his head and in moments, blending into the crowd and leaving the Blackwatch commander, red in the face with an expression of anger on his face, his pride wounded, flounder in the crowd. By the time he would get through ,Genji was long gone, putting distance between himself and Reaper before calling a cab and quickly getting inside.

Idly Genji opened Gabriel’s wallet as he leaned back in his seat, riffling through his credit cards with passing interest. He paused to snicker over the photos of Gabriel on his Driver’s licenses as well before slipping it back inside. Genji paused as he came across clearance cards for Overwatch which in the wrong hands could be a problem. Clearly Gabriel had never thought he of all people would fall victim to a pickpocket ever in his life. Genji smirked. It would mean the Blackwatch commander would be all the more anxious and hot on his trail to retrieve the property.

Genji had pulled ahead in this little game. He had the bait and could set up when and where they would meet next if he played this next part right. He could have Gabriel wriggling like a worm on a hook. The game was now in full swing and nothing was going to be held back.

The younger Shimada chuckled, leaning back as he turned to watch the landscape of Los Angeles pass by.

“Your move, Gabriel,” he whispered softly out loud.


	4. Chapter 4

There was no need to hide and in fact, being rather open and easy to approach was simply the next step of the game. At this point, Genji just had to wait for Gabriel to come to him to retrieve his wallet and everything contained within.

The stakes were at their highest now.

Genji hadn’t really taken a look through the wallet, just a glance to see what was at stake. Everything was still where Gabriel had put it and the younger Shimada hadn’t breathed a word of this to Hanzo.

Such sensitive material would be of keen interest to the Shimada clan and Hanzo would have been very pleased to get such clearances cards in his hands, but then, giving up the wallet would mean an end to this little game Genji was playing with Reyes and that, he would not give up. This was his game, his rules, and as he was on vacation, the clan could go to hell for the time being as far as Genji was concerned. This was his time for a little fun beyond the usual fare.

The young man had picked a spot on the beach far from his brother, a bit isolated but still within sight of other beach goers. Enough witnesses to deterred a murder or the like but still private enough to not be overheard.

Genji stretched out, slurping at his drink, one hand behind his head as he basked in the rays of the sun, body slick with sunscreen, seeing if Gabriel would bother to show up or if the hit to his pride was so severe he was still licking the wound. A slight grin tugged at the corner of Genji’s mouth at the thought. He had pulled the wool over commander of Blackwatch’s eyes and couldn’t be prouder.

The sudden loss of the suns warmth by someone standing in the way caused Genji to frown, raising a hand to lower his sunglasses to look up into the angry visage of Gabriel Reyes as he stood over Genji. The young man let his eyes dip lower, taking in the bare chest and muscles, following those lines to the hem of his swim trunks that were hugging his form rather tightly. All of it a beautiful sight that made Genji feel like the temperature had kicked up about ten degrees.

“Plenty of beach to stand on and brood that isn’t blocking my sun,” Genji commented, flicking his sunglasses back up with a smug look.

“You know why I’m here,” Gabriel growled, crossing his arms, “Give me back my wallet,”

Genji paused to consider the demand, taking another long slurp of his iced drink before shaking his head, “Mmmmmm no. What do I get for giving it back, untouched mind you, and not hand it over to my brother?”

“I don’t owe you anything. It is my property,” Gabriel hissed, eyes narrowing.

The younger man frowned before gesturing to the side, “At least sit down and lets go over the details here shall we? I have what you want. I won’t give it back until you put an offer on the table. That is how this situation is going to work,”

Gabriel eyed Genji and the spot before slowly sitting down beside him, eyes still narrowed, “I know what you want,”

“Do you?” Genji asked, putting some false surprise into his voice, “Have you figured me out that quickly?”

“Easy enough to figure out someone as shallow as you,” He retorted, “You just want a quick-”

“Not quick. I’m not a five minute sort of lover,” Genji interrupted, “I get at least a whole night and maybe the morning,”

Gabriel gave a snort, “Like you could last that long,”

Genji turned his head towards Gabriel, lowering his sunglasses, “Do I have to put you to shame again because you underestimate what I’m capable of?”

That shut up Gabriel quickly. With a flush rising to his cheeks, the Blackwatch commander turned away to glare at the ocean brooding as Genji just smirked, flipping down his sunglasses, “What I thought,”

“Brat,” Gabriel growled under his breath.

“I don’t have the wallet with me but it is safe. I’m not giving it back until I get something out of this,” he propped himself up on his elbows, “And what you are implying is on the table if you are willing. No fun if both parties aren’t enjoying it,”

“How thoughtful of you,” Reaper drawled, “And what other options are there?”

Genji gave a shrug, “The boring stuff. Intel, information, anything that you think is worth your clearance cards and codes,”

Gabriel scowled, looking away for a moment before letting out a sigh, “Fine. We aren’t doing it in my room though,”

“I wouldn’t think so. Not in mine either. My brother would throttle me for even doing this,” Genji sat up, taking off his sunglasses, “Luckily there is a lot of choices for motels for a night of fraternizing with the enemy,”

“We meet on the boardwalk. Eleven o’clock tonight,” The tone Gabriel used made it clear he wasn’t going to negotiate that.

Genji could have laughed. The boardwalk would be empty and be a perfect place for Gabriel to try and get the drop on him. He wasn’t about to just cave in like that, not without a fight and trying to one up his partners. That aggressively competitive pride wasn’t about to take anything gracefully.

If Gabriel preferred a fight before bed, Genji wouldn’t disappoint.

He smiled, although his eyes narrowed, a small look of challenge back at Gabriel, “I’ll be there but, before then, could I perhaps get a little warm-up to what will be going down tonight?”

“Which part?” Gabriel asked, glancing towards Genji.

The young man grinned, sitting up on his knees, leaning in closer to the other man, “The part that is going to happen after your failed attempt to subdue me,”

Genji leaned in closer, eyes half closed as he spoke, his voice hushed, “Besides, you teased it before once and got yourself into this mess,”

That earned a slight twitch of the lips from Gabriel, the barest hint of a smirk as he leaned in closer, “And how do you know I won’t do the same thing now?”

“Because I know your game,” Genji answered back softly, “I don’t think you have the guts to kiss me,”

“Keep telling yourself that, brat,” Gabriel growled before finally closing the distance, capturing Genji’s lips.

For a brief second, Genji was taken off guard, surprised Gabriel had moved in so quickly. He was quick though to rally himself, eyes sliding closed, one arm moving to slide around Gabriel’s neck as he leaned into the kiss, putting every bit of frustration and skill he had into it.

Gabriel was not a bad kisser. He was phenomenal. It wasn’t a skill that Genji had thought the taciturn man would have with how flustered he had gotten that first day. There was nothing but fire and force in Gabriel’s kiss, a hungering desire to dominate completely through the sheer intensity of the kiss.

Genji though wasn’t one to roll over and let his partners take the lead, not without his consent. He pushed back, his own style slower and deliberate with teasing nips and pulls, a more cold intensity but no less passionate.

They pulled apart, a soft pant shared between them as they stared at the other, the challenge clear in that surge of electricity in the air between them. Genji darted his tongue out to lick his lips smirking.

That kiss had been better than any he had yet to experience, his first kiss with a man and it only left him hungry for more and to feel more. His body was singing with arousal but he wasn’t about to let it cloud his mind, not this far in the game.

Gabriel gave a hiss as he watched Genji lick his lips, quickly pulling him in for another kiss, this time, more aggressive with nips to demand entrance into Genji’s mouth. The young man obliaged but didn’t make it easy for the Blackwatch Commander to take control of the kiss.

Both of Genji’s hands were on Gabriel’s shoulders while the larger man had his hands firmly on Genji’s hips, digging fingers against the cloth of his bathing suit as the kiss surged into a full on make-out there n the beach.

Gabriel gave a grunt as he was pushed into his back, Genji pulling away from the kiss panting and face flushed. Idly, Genji sat back, stretching some as he kept eye contact with Gabriel, giving a slow smirk.

“Save the rest for later,” He said, not hiding the hoarse tone of his voice, thick with a desire to keep exploring, “Need to show we have some self control and don’t just do it here and now on the beach,”

“You would enjoy that I bet,” Gabriel growled, “pushed into the sand while others watched,”

Genji chuckled, tilting his head, “Maybe but you’ll have to see what is going to be offered tonight in the bedroom. See if we even want to have a few more rendezvous,”

Reluctantly Genji pulled away, getting off Gabriel, moving to sit next to the man again, “But that’s for tonight,”

“We’ll see,” the Blackwatch commander was smirking at him as he rose to his feet before leaving.

Genji leaned back, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of the sun and the taste of spice that remained on his lips. He was going to have to prepare for tonight and come prepared for a fight. Desire or not, Gabriel was going to try and become king of the mountain again.

The Blackwatch commander was going to discover that a dragon wasn’t so easy a foe to defeat when guarding its territory.


	5. Chapter 5

The boardwalk was deserted now, most of the tourists more up towards the clubs now and with the low hanging clouds on the horizon threatening rain, the place almost seemed to have an ethereal feel to it.

The electricity in the air had Genji’s heart racing as he waited for Gabriel to make an appearance, leaned up against the side of a closed beach rental shack, dressed in his usual garb and armed to the teeth.

There was going to be a fight and the prospect for the first time in a long time excited Genji in a strange way. Something about Gabriel Reyes brought out that desire to combine the elements of action and passion into a smouldering cauldron, like a strange new foreplay Genji had not considered before. Clashing blow after blow, looking to win, like a battle of dominance before one was forced to submit, something about the concept struck a primal cord that made Genji’s entire body feel aflame.

He had felt arousal and desire for another before. This however felt more powerful than any of those past interests and Genji wondered idly who had seduced who at this point.

The young man arched an eyebrow, smirking some as he saw Reyes making his way towards him, wearing a long jacket. It was easy enough for Genji though to see he was armed underneath. Such a breach of the law though to conceal his armaments. Clearly the rules didn’t apply to Gabriel and the idea they were both breaking rules only added another layer of excitement to their rather forbidden engagement.

Genji pushed himself off the wall and moved casually into the circle of light caste onto the boardwalk by a swinging light, tilting his head. He didn’t say a word. He stood, arms crossed, watching his opponent approach with a small smirk, his amber eyes though filled with a flame, the dragon practically seen coiling up eagerly for what was to come.

Gabriel didn’t break eye contact as he approached, his own filled with a colder fire, teeth bared in a slight grin, all the indication the ninja needed to know that the other man was just as eager for this fight as him.

No friends. No family. No spectators. Just them and the rush of the waves of the beach below and the wind’s whispers over the surf as the night grew darker and darker, swallowing up all natural light. The stage was set perfectly for their confrontation, a stage set without a single prop out of place for the principle master actors about to display their deadly dance of guns and blades.

Without a word, Gabriel walked past Genji, only stopping when they were shoulder to shoulder, facing opposite directions. The wind picked up slightly and brought with it the pungent salt of the ocean. Genji felt his whole body go tense, like a spring about to snap, his fingers itchy for his weapon as Gabriel shifted lightly, one hand moving to trace over the handle of his gun.

No words were shared. It felt almost sacrilegious to break the scene with meaningless noises and gestures, words that were no longer needed as everything needed to be said, had been said. The only language to be spoken was the ancient, universal language of combat.

Gabriel moved first, suddenly whirling around, pulling two guns from the confines of his jacket. Genji moved in the opposite direction, ducking low some as he drew his sword in one fluid motion, turning towards the other man.

A blade pressed against the throat, returned with a gun pressed to the temples. Both were smiling, almost eager to feel that threat of death so close, stirring up that need to prove themselves, the sheer desire to make sure the other knew they were not one to trifle with.

Both disengaged, Gabriel letting lose a line of fire as Genji nimbly dodged, as light on his feet as a feather on the wind, moving in closer to the gunman. The commander of Blackwatch stepped back, practically throwing both guns at Genji, enough of a distraction to force Genji off his original trajectory to dodge. As he came up, Gabriel was on him, straight forward with nothing flashy, only brute force.

Genji was forced to drop his sword but even without it, he was far from defenseless, using Gabriel’s force of blows to get back out of his circle of strike, adapting quickly to the aggressive style. Speed was on Genji’s side as he came in with a few precise blows of his own, aiming for the pressure points to bring the other man down.

Although his style was brutal, there was more than a little cunning put into hit and a mixture of some other martial art to add more flexibility as Gabriel rounded in on Genji again looking to go for a take down move to pin the younger man down and assert his victory. Every blow was countered though and Genji was grinning the whole time, slippery as an eel through Gabriel’s grip.

The two disengaged, stepping back, eyeing the other, the bite of the cold wind doing nothing to cool down the flames aroused in both, that excitement at finding someone that kept up with them, that wove into their own style so well and yet at the same time, contrasting their style like fire to water. 

The wind was picking up more and already, large drops of rain started to plonk against the boardwalk. The two barely seemed to register the storm coming, their eyes on each other. Genji smirked, cocking his head to the side before picking up his sword and pushing it back into the sheath.

Gabriel did the same with his guns as the storm rumbled, the flash of lightning on the horizon the only light other than the single bulb of the now wildly swinging lamb. In the flash of lightning though, the grin Gabriel wore was clear against his dark skin. The second round was ready to start.

They crashed together again, blows traded as the rain poured down harder. A misstep though was all it took to turn the entire flow of battle. A single off step by Genji, leaving him open to Gabriel’s push.

A gasp escaped Genji as he was slammed up hard against the door of the rental shop and before he could suck in a breath of air, Gabriel’s mouth was on his. The hunger there was addictive, swallowing up the groans of desire that escaped Genji. His hands dug into the forearms of the other man as he pushed back. His lungs screamed for air but his entire body was screaming louder to be consumed. It no longer mattered to Genji who was in charge.

All that mattered was the relief he desperately needed now, the need to sooth that desperate ach Gabriel had inflicted upon his very soul with their first encounter.

Gabriel pulled away panting, eyes smoldering from under his wet hood. That look cut through Genji, settling under his skin as he met it with his own wild-eyed look, a look that seemed to try and burn right through Gabriel’s own skin with the heat of it.

Lips crashed together again, all teeth and tongue, all desperate grasps on the other as hands tugged and pulled at clothing. All there was now was the desire to complete and dominate one another, to fulfill those primal urges to mark skin with teeth and nails and leave physical traces all over one another.

Genji broke the kiss,inhaling shakily as he leaned up, his mouth hot against Gabriel’s ear as he broke the silence at last, “Take me,”

The words came out a shaky whisper, an admittance of submission to Gabriel’s dominance for this evening. A husky growl of desire escaped Gabriel as he wrapped his arms about Genji, hefting him up higher against his hips. The friction was enough to have the younger man let out a groan of impatience, burying his face against Gabriel’s shoulder.

For a moment, Gabriel seemed to hesitate, as if debating what to do before giving a snarl, pulling away from the other briefly, “Follow me,”

It didn’t take long to find a motel near the boardwalk and it wasn’t long after that Genji found himself pressed to the door of their rented room having the very life kissed out of him as he shrugged out of his open shirt, not shy about their rather bawdy display for anyone who was even out in this downpour to see them pressed against the door of their room.

A few seconds later though, Genji found himself falling back onto the bed, Gabriel ontop of him,halfway undressed, head arched back as the column of his neck was marked by rough claims of Gabriel’s mouth.

Everything was burning up and bursting all at once with a rumble of the storm outside, drowned out by the storm inside brewing as clothes found their way to the floor and the game came to its peak.

The sweet cries of victory that echoed long into the night.

It was the first tie to be reached in their war of seduction. A breaking and embracing of that wild sort of desire that found its outlets in the secret dark of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS NOTHING BUT SMUT. If that is not your cup of tea, you can skip this chapter completely and go to the next one as the story still reads fine c: This scene was requested though so I obliged c:
> 
> Enjoy!

Things were moving fast now. One minute Genji had been pressed to the door, feeling like he was having the very life kissed out of hime and then the next moment he was half undressed, his back pressed into the sheets of the bed as his nails dug into the muscular shoulders of the man above him. 

Everything was feeling absolutely heated, smoldering. Genji did nothing to hide the small gasps and groans of pleasure as he felt Gabriel's mouth working down over his neck. The feeling was new. True he had had women lover's pepper him with attention, trailing hot kisses against his skin, but none were as rough or as dominating as Gabriel. He had a hunger to his actions and used far more teeth than any partner in the past, making a clear effort to mark Genji's skin with signs of his conquest. 

Just the very idea he was being marked at all had Genji's desire growing stronger, blazing in his veins and making him feel completely out of control. Despite all that though, there was a tremor of nerves that had found their way through the haze of pleasure to settle in his stomach as he felt the hands of his partner start to go southward, drifting over his hips to tug at the waistband of his pants.

He had never been with a man before. All of this was territory he had only seen in questionable content online to sate his curiosity. It was a completely different story to have a muscular, handsome man ready and very willing to indulge in that itch. Genji shifted nervously, restless almost. as he looked away. His grip on Gabriel's shoulders tensed some as he tried to focus on anything but the action going on.

“I'm not very experienced with dealing with men,” he murmured reluctantly, “I might be a bit of a disappointment?”

Gabriel pulled back some, his expression almost amused as he drank in the half naked young man beneath him, “I highly doubt that you are going to be a disappointment. If anything, your game seems to be surprising me and breaking expectation,”

Genji gave a small chuckle, turning his head some to give Gabriel an almost bashful look, “Still, I don't think pleasuring a man is the same as pleasuring a woman,”

“No, but you know how to please yourself, don't you or have you never touched yourself?” Gabriel drawled, his voice taking on a husky tone as he slid a hand down over Genji's groin, squeezing lightly.

The younger man hissed sharply at the action, his hips arching up into it as he felt a surge of pleasure shoot up his body, “I-I have. Quiet a lot,” Genji murmured, shifting about restlessly, “But I never did, you know, a blowjob on myself,”

“Surprising, given how flexible you are,” Gabriel commented with a smirk, moving both hands to the top of Genji's pants and starting to tug them down, “Regardless, I know what I'm doing. I won't hurt you,”

Genji gave a small nod at his words, sucking in a deep breath as he lifted his hips to aid Gabriel in pulling his pants and boxers off, leaving him completely bare to the cool air of the room. He shivered lightly, looking away and feeling a flush rise to his face. He was almost embarrassed at how aroused he clearly was from just a bit of kissing and touching. 

His cock was already flushed and standing erect, the tip, a swollen red color, already starting to bead with a slow drool of precum. Gabriel sat back to take in the sight with an almost feral smirk before he and down to cup Genji's sac, fondling it lightly as he glanced up at the his face, “Are you always this easy to get going?”

“No,” Genji managed out with a breathy moan, “I can guarantee though I can ah! Hold out for a long time,” he murmured, rolling his hips some as his partner continued to massage his sac.

Gabriel just smirked, his other hand coming up to start to stroke Genji's length slowly, working it from the bottom to the top, making sure to swipe his thumb over the slit, slicking the precum down over his partner's aching length, “do you want me to see how long it takes me to get you howling in wanton pleasure?”

The way he said that, so low and filled with a raspy, heated desire nearly had Genji shaking and feeling like his length was going to betray him and release then and there. It was almost scary how easily Gabriel had already ripped apart his self control. He let out a soft groan, his own hands going to start feeling up his partner to try and even the playing field.

What he found in feeling up that swell growing in Gabriel's pants was something far larger than expected. Genji felt his ears burning in a strange mix of arousal and embarrassment at the thick length he was feeling out. He was a lot bigger than Genji and that was saying something given the younger man knew he wasn't no small ride himself. He was average and well proportioned for his size. In comparison, Gabriel felt like a destroyer of worlds was tucked away inside his pants.

Genji swallowed, the nerves swelling up again as he glanced up at the other man's face, eyes a bit wide. Gabriel just smirked, sitting back some to tug his own pants down, showing Genji what his imagination had been trying to create. He was already so hard, the tip dark and drooling steadily with his arousal. There was no nerves or shame in Gabriel as he eyed Genji with a smirk, taking his time to let his partner see what he was about to have in him. Genji almost rolled his eyes. This man's pride really had no boundaries. 

“Will that even fit?” Genji asked weakly, looking up at Gabriel with an incredulous look. 

“It will,” Gabriel promised,shifting to stretch out beside Genji now, letting his large hands slide over the younger man's body soothingly, taking the time to rub his thumbs in slow circles down his side, “Its your first time. You need a lot of preparation,” 

He leaned in to suck and lick at the marks he already left on Genji's neck, letting out a soft growling sound that had Genji shivering, one of his hands reaching to trace over his partner's hips.

“Be gentle,” he murmured, taking a deep breath and trying to relax the nerves, closing his eyes. 

Genji didn't want to appear like some nervous virgin as the other man touched him. He wanted to maintain that sense of being in control like he had in all their other encounters. He didn't want to appear weak or needing to be coddled in any way. It was harder and harder to do, especially as he felt Gabriel reach over him into the dresser to pull out a bottle of lube. At least this love motel was accommodating, Genji mused as he took another deep breath trying to keep calm.

His entire body though went rigid as he felt a slick finger start to trail around his puckered entrance, slowly testing the muscles with small presses. Genji gritted his teeth some, closing his eyes tight as he looked away. The gentle probes never pushed in, only continued to run along the outside as Gabriel's other hand moved to wrap around the younger man and trail gently over his chest as he rested his chin against Genji's shoulder.

“We don't have to do this if you are uncomfortable,” Gabriel murmured soothingly, planing soft kisses against Genji's shoulder, “No one is forcing you,”

“I'm fine,” Genji murmured, shifting to swing one leg back to hook over Gabriel's hips and open up his legs wider, “Just, gentle, okay?”

“Relax first,” Gabriel said, the single lubed finger still circling Genji's entrance, soaking it thoroughly with the slick, “I'm not shoving anything in when you are this tight with nerves,” 

Genji just let out a soft sigh, fidgeting about as he felt that finger press and massage against the muscles, “Just do it. I'll adapt to it,”

“Contrary to popular fiction, that isn't what happens during anal,” Gabriel drawled, continuing his slow press and massage of the twitching muscles, “Just relax,”

Gabriel leaned in to press his lips against Genji's neck again, going slower with his nips and kisses, carefully nuzzling and slowing the whole moment down. He was in no hurry and that almost lazy pace did help Genji to relax some. He leaned back into the one arm embrace of the other man, letting his head fall back against Gabriel's shoulder some and closed his eyes, slowly but surely feeling those nerves start to unwind.

This was different. When it came to lovers it was usually a quick affair. With Gabriel though, it was slow and unhurried with delicate touches that had him feeling more pent up and aroused but more than happy to let go and relax within the arms. It was a strange cuddle that doubled as foreplay. 

He had hardly been paying attention until there was a sudden push of the finger, moving pass the muscles at last and up inside. Genji hissed, eyes opening wide at the sudden discomforting pain that caused him to clench but the finger didn't withdraw, only slowly pressing up and down inside his passage, wriggling around slowly.

“You okay?” Gabriel asked, nuzzling up against Genji's neck.

The younger man sucked in a breath of air, nodding his head as he fidgeted about on the finger pressed into him. It had stung a little but it was more the new feeling of having something inside him, a strange fullness, that was harder to get use to. It wasn't entirely unpleasant as much as it was just new to Genji. Gabriel just chuckled, dropping his other hand down to wrap about Genji's cock and slowly start to stroke, “You can't keep still can you?”

“Feels strange,” Genji murmured, reaching one arm back brush over Gabriel's sides, “Not sure how I feel about-ah!” 

A yelp escaped Genji as a second finger wriggled its way inside, the two digits starting to scissor inside, pressing against the side of his passage, almost as if looking for something. Another small burn of pain was felt, causing Genji to bite his lip. It was strange how the sensation and the pain seemed to be causing his arousal to jumped, making his hips jerk forward into the slow methodical strokes of Gabriel's hand on his length.

“Still holding up?” Gabriel asked, his voice hot against the shell of Genji's ear.

“Y-yeah,” He managed out, panting softly, “Feels....feels good. Feels-ah!”

Genji's entire body jerked as a surge of pleasure ripped through him as the tips of Gabriel's fingers brushed over something deep inside him. A soft groan escaped him as his head fell back against Gabriel's shoulder, his entire body trembling.

A heated laugh escaped the older man as he smirked, resting his chin on Genji's shoulder in order to watch is expression, “Think I grazed your prostrate there,”

“Is that what that was?” Genji asked, almost out of breath as he rocked between the fingers still working him over in his taint and the hand fisting over his length, “Touch it again?”

“Maybe I will,” Gabriel growled, “Maybe I won't. I will be hitting it every time as soon as I'm buried in your tight passage though,”

Genji shivered, a soft moan escaping him as he moved about, fidgeting and wanting more of everything and the very thought of Gabriel switching gears to try and work that massive length inside of him....

“I think I'm ready for it,” Genji whispered, turning his head some to brush his lips against Gabriel's “Take me,”

Gabriel gave a small nod, slowly withdrawing his fingers from Genji. The younger man bit back a sound of disappointment at the loss, feeling empty now. He shifted as Gabriel moved to pull his leg up higher on his hip as he spooned up closer behind the younger man, the hand keeping a firm grip on the underside of the knee as the other hand dropped to his own length. Already Gabriel was working a liberal amount of lube over his pulsating cock before he began to guide it up, pressing the swollen head to Genji's twitching passage.

Genji swallowed, trying not to tense up as the head of Gabriel's cock started to be pushed in, working its way in slowly. It was a lot larger than the fingers but the lube helped to ease it in, slowly but surely. Gabriel kept his pace measured, keeping an arm about Genji's hips to keep him from rushing the process or moving too much. The entire time Genji felt like he was being split open, panting and gasping, teeth gritted at times as he bit back sounds of discomfort. There was the pain of being stretched, but there was a pleasure buried in the sensation, especially when that length started to nudge and brush past his prostrate again, causing him to twitch and jerk with low hisses. 

Finally that massive cock was buried to the hilt, Gabriel panting against Genji's neck, shuddering and clearly using every bit of will power not to just start rocking into the younger man. Genji was trembling, eyes shut tight against the new sensations and finding himself enjoying this far more than the usual quick affairs he had with women. 

He liked being the one not in charge and being taken care of for once. The feeling of being ungodly full as well was something starting to grow on him. The slower pace of things seemed to add a deeper sense of intimacy that was far more uncommon in Genji's life than he would like to admit.

Everything felt more raw, more real than any lay he had had in the past. 

Slowly, Gabriel began to move giving small bucks of his hips that drew soft moans from Genji as he slowly started to work his hips back, trying to match the gentle, slow rhythm of Gabriel's thrusts. Each push and pull helped to work him open more, allowing Gabriel to pull more out and thrust in a bit harder and a bit deeper. Each time that length brushed his prostrate, Genji felt himself let out a louder moan, bucking his hips excitedly. 

Soon the burning sensation was fading, replaced by a growing urgency building in his loins.

He needed more.

Trembling, he started to work his hips a bit faster, one hand reaching back to dig nails against Gabriel's hips as if to urge him on faster. That little bit of indication was all Gabriel needed to pick up his pace. He was panting now, growling low as he rested both hands on Genji's hips, digging fingers against the skin as he did his best to maintain control as he thrusted in and out, picking up the pace with each slam back in. 

“Faster,” Genji managed brokenly, trying to urge an increase in the pace with quick flicks of his own hips, “Fuck me already!”

“You sure you are ready for that?” Gabriel growled, giving a short spurt of hard thrusts that had Genji letting out loud, obscene moans, head falling back against his partner's broad shoulder again. 

“Yes!” Genji gasped, digging nails against Gabriel's hips, turning his head some to fix him with a heated look, “I can handle anything you put out,”

Gabriel gave a smirk, eyes dark with lust, “We shall see,” he murmured, hunching his frame forward and letting go of his self control entirely. 

Genji let out a near scream of delight, back arching and his hips trying desperately to match the frenzied pace Gabriel was setting as he battered away, driving the younger man into a shuddering, gasping throe of pleasure. His pace never let up and every hard, fast ram forward was elating more cries of desire. Genji felt like he was practically singing praise to the high heavens for this first time experience. 

He wouldn't be surprised if this completely ruined him to all other men with how furious, passionate, and absolutely animistic Gabriel was when he didn't hold back. It was a sharp contrast to the early lazy pace he had set with his gentle probes. The whole spectrum of feeling and experience was overwhelming Genji now.

He was trembling more, his mouth open with husky, gasping cries and deep inhales of air, eyes closed tight as he felt like he was being drowned and barely able to fight to the surface for lungfuls of air. With a sudden slam, his entire world exploded around him as he doubled over some, going still other than small jerks of his hips as he hit his first release, feeling the sudden spurt of warmth against his stomach. His passage, already tight despite being worked open, clenched down like a vice, strangling Gabriel's pistoning length, trying to milk the intruder for all it was worth. 

Gabriel managed only a few desperate thrusts into that tight heat before he was tugging Genji back tight against his body, warm arms wrapped tight about the younger man as he hit his own release with a rattling groan of bone deep satisfaction. Genji just went limp feeling worn out for the first time in years after a romp in the sheets. 

He felt boneless against Gabriel, feeling a warmth deep inside of him. Not to mention sticky from his own release that coated his belly in a sheen of white cum. One of Gabriel's hands idly slide down to move through the mess, spreading it across Genji's skin before bringing the fingers up to the young man's mouth. Genji could practically feel the smirk of the older man against the side of his face, urging him to taste his own seed.

A smirk crossed his own lips as he raised a hand to grasp Gabriel's wrist, licking his tongue in small darts to clean them of the white mess, enjoying the low growl of approval he heard in his partner's voice.

“I think you ruined me completely for any other man,” Genji murmured, turning his head some to try and steal a kiss from his partner.

Gabriel just chuckled at the comment, slowly pulling himself out of Genji's stretched passage with a lewd sucking noise, “Have to make your first time with a man memorable, yes?”

“You did that all right,” Genji murmured, rolling over to face the other man fully, “So how disappointing was I?”

“Not at all. You are so damn tight,” Gabriel murmured, leaning in to plant sloppy kisses against Genji's lips, “and the noises you make when you were riding me, I wouldn't mind pulling those noises out of you more often,”

Genji felt a flush rise to his feet and a slow burn of heat settle in his gut again as he fidgeted some. He moved to press his face into Gabriel's neck, shaking his head, “You talk like that and you are going to get me worked up again,” he murmured, “Is that what you want?”

Gabriel leaned back and the smirk on his face made Genji swallow hard and feel his cock give a painful jerk as it started to try and swell up again, “Who said I was satisfied with just one round?”

 

The younger man felt a tremor of excitement, already leaning in to meet Gabriel in another heated kiss, pressing against his new partner wit ha desperate roll of his hips, a silent admittance that he was more than ready to do something more. The tired boneless feeling was quickly being replaced with an almost desperate need to feel as much as possible until he was unable to physical move again.

The bed creaked as their positions changed, the sounds of pleasure building again, hands curling into bed sheets and against skin as the almost primal cries of satisfaction began to reach another peak. The game was completely forgotten in the carnal pleasures of the body the two indulge in, over and over, focused entirely on the reaching that blissful peak of oblivion as many times as they could together before they were all but spent.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the chapter where things are making a shift. With the events coming up in the timeline, the tone is starting to peak below the surface. Genji is a tough kid but let's face it.... a crime family is not a very good environment for a child to come up in.
> 
> So here there be feels. Don't say I didn't warn you > u >

The first thing Genji became aware of as he awoke was the dull throb that had taken resident in what felt like his whole body. The second thing he noticed was the sudden loss of heat from his side that had him sitting up groggily to figure out where his bedfellow had gotten to. Gabriel was sitting on the edge of the bed, already half dressed and seemed to be looking for his shirt in the mess of their wet clothes, making a slight face as he held up the wet t-shirt he had been wearing under his jacket.

“Leaving already?” Genji murmured, “You can take a shower or something. Give the clothes time to dry,”

The man paused, looking up and giving a dismissive snort, “I prefer my own shower. This one probably has mold or something in it,”

Genji moved to sit up more, wincing just a bit, “What if I want you to stay a little longer?”

“Why would it matter?” Gabriel asked, his tone honestly curious, “We had a one night stand as far as I could tell,”

The younger man frowned some, glancing away, “It is a one night stand if it was bad. I think last night was good enough that maybe we could, shall we say, arrange some benefits?” 

It really had been a good night and the pleasures of his first time with a man were not going to be soon forgotten. Even the dull throb was more than worth what they had done last night. Something about being with Gabriel was a lot more exciting and passionate than his usual rolls in bed, not just because of it being a new experience. There was something about Gabriel's personality, a strange mix of dominating but caring that seemed to touch upon something in Genji. 

He really didn't want things to end. Not right away at least. Genji preferred to take more than one sip until he grew tired of the taste after all and right now Gabriel was a sweet drink that tantalized his ever sense. 

“Benefits?” Gabriel asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I'm here for at least two more weeks on vacation, then I'm gone,” Genji explained, “Then we go back to our sides, none the wiser, no one knows or cares, and life carries on. What's a little fun between enemies?”

Gabriel gave a slight snort, “That is a dangerous game to play, Genji,”

“I’ve never been one to like to play the nice, easy sort of games,” Genji responding sliding out of the bed.

He winced again at the sudden sore throb that shot through his body as he rose to his feet, feeling a slight thrill at still being so weak in the knees as it were even after having time to rest. He still fell well and truly sated which was a rarity in the past with partners. Gabriel was watching him having paused in dressing himself, his shirt in hand. There was a small frown on his features but it was more one that came from someone who was contemplating something said rather than any sort of ire.

Genji moved to collect his clothes, some it still damp from the rain before and he made a slight face at the idea of heading back home in wet clothes. No doubt Hanzo was going to be wondering where he was last night, even if was just a passing curiosity. It was not unusual for Genji to come crawling into the estate in the morning, hungover and smelling like he had been rolling in a puddle of sickly sweet flowers, cigarettes, and cheap booze. Le Scent de irresponsible younger brother is what Genji like to affectionately call it. 

The younger man flicked the switch on in the bathroom, letting out a yawn. The place was a bit dingy but not as bad as some of the whole in the wall love motels he had woken up in. The mirror at least was clean and didn't bear any numbers of ladies of the night to phone in a pinch. Genji shuffled over to the mirror, running a hand through his hair as he took in his appearance. Not the worse he’s looked upon waking up. He had more hickies than usual on his neck and body, larger than any woman’s mouth. No doubt that would be something his brother would pick up on and ask about as an overly protective, overly cautious brother would do. His gaze moved to the side as Gabriel had approached, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom.

“Have you reconsidered that shower then?” Genji asked, quirking an eyebrow as he ran a hand through his hair again, grinning.

“What do you expect to get from us meeting up again?” the commander asked, “Just some kicks?”

“I enjoyed last night,” Genji responded, his gaze shifting back to his reflection, letting his fingers trace over the purple marks upon his skin, “And that is a rarity honestly. I get a lot of bad times and a lot of times where I’m laying there wondering if that was it, but with you last night? One of the best if not the best time I’ve had. Why do it once?”

Gabriel gave a small nod, glancing away, “We don’t talk about anything else. No getting to know each other or anything about our respected professions, got it?”

“Unless your respected profession happens to be a stripper, I don’t think it is going to come up. Relax,” Genji shook his head, giving a small chuckle, “I care about my clan’s business very little and it is fairly common knowledge that I don’t care. I just know not to run my mouth,”

“And they wouldn’t care you are sleeping with the enemy?” Gabriel drawled, stepping into the bathroom, arching an eyebrow.

Genji let out a soft laugh, “More like I don't tell the clan and the only person I tell is Hanzo because he would find out anyways. He won't tell a soul”, at least, he assumed Hanzo would. His brother was hard to predict but he was sure Hanzo would see nothing wrong with a bit of fun over the holiday, enemy or not. 

“Besides if they ask, I'll just tell them I was getting important information like how large you are and how well you perform in bed. The real things to learn about your enemy,” Genji put in, as always, making a joke about the situation and brushing the reality under the rug as if it didn't matter. As far as he was concerned it didn't matter. What happened in the bedroom stayed there and if someone made a big deal about it, they clearly had their priorities in all the wrong places.

That earned a slight smirk from the commander as he leaned forward, resting his hands on the vanity on either side of the younger man, resting his chin on his shoulder, “If that is the case, then I might reconsider that shower,”

A wicked grin spread across Genji’s face as he turned his head to ghost a few kisses over the other man’s jawline, “I thought you would,” he all but purred.

The heated kiss pressed to his lips, possessive, rough, and eager even after what had happened last night was as good as a “yes” to Genji over their new arrangements.

~_~

It was a good four more hours before Genji was dragging himself back into the hotel suite he shared with Hanzo, the noonday light filtering in. Not an unusual time for Genji to show up and right no time for him to go right back to sleep for the next few hours to be more than ready for another evening. It had more or less been the habit he had gotten into since graduating high school although the late night benders had started more in his junior years underneath the bleachers at sporting events. Genji allowed himself a slight smile at those wild memories as he looked about the room quickly finding where his brother was this morning. Hazo was lounging on the couch, dressed as old fashioned as ever, reading a book peacefully, glancing up only to watched Genji wander in.

“Rough night?” He asked dryly, the usual disapproval in his voice. 

“You could say that. Rough in all the good ways,” Genji responded, grinning wide as he already began to strip out of his clothes again, “Has the maid come by yet? I got some laundry for her,”

“They have been through, yes,” Hanzo answered, his eyes narrowing as he watched Genji limp towards his room, “Are you well?”

Genji’s smile only grew as he looked at his brother, “Oh, I’m more than well anija. This is the limp of I scored last night and I rode a-“

“I would prefer as little details as possible,” Hanzo made a face, “Your bedroom conquests are not of particular interest,”

“Pfft, what kind of brothers can’t talk about the fun they indulged in? I mean true, you don't have any stories but maybe my own can help instruct you in the finer points of love making,” Genji drawled.

He tossed his old clothes aside into a pile in the corner before ruffling through his things, pulling out a pair of sweat pants. After last night he need the noon to recover if he was going to do anything tonight. Maybe a bit of texting with Gabriel just to see about setting something up tomorrow. 

Or just talking with the man. His sarcastic bite was just as strong in his the words he wrote as much as the words he spoke. Genji sidled out and flopped on the couch next to Hanzo, moving to rest his feet up on his brother’s lap as he stretched out, all but claiming the whole couch for himself. Hanzo rolled his eyes but didn’t complain, more than use to his brother’s habits. He just pulled Genji’s feet up a bit more to rest them more comfortable across his lap before returning to his book.

“So you going out again?” The elder asked, idly flipping the page of his book.

“No, I'm going to sit here with you all night and play chess and contemplate the meaning of life. Of course I'm going out later,” Genji responded as he carelessly threw an arm back over the end of the couch, taking out his phone to check his messages with his free hand. Noting to note other than the usual chatter of his casual friends back home asking him about the party life and all that. A few of the girls he strung along telling him how much they missed him when he knew they were lying through their teeth. Being the second son, the only thing Genji had to offer was marriage into the Shimada family and many a minor crime family with an eligible daughter had said daughters chasing him around. He was easier to approach than his brother who all but rejected anyone with a well placed scowl. But then, given Hanzo's marriage was already well arranged since he was about five years old to a girl he had only talked to twice, he didn't really care much to play the field. Misplace fidelity is what Genji called it. Not like he couldn't have a little fun before settling down to populate the next generation with his one day wife.

"Going out with the same man then? Who is it anyways? You haven't been very vocal about what this interest looks like other than it is a he," Hanzo commented, eyes still glued to his book.

Genji paused for a moment before giving a shrug, "That man I saw at the beach the other day? The one that awoke the fire? That's the one. Managed to get him into my bed twice now," the young man gave a slight grin although it began to fade as he took note of his brother's reaction.

The entirety of Hanzo's countenance changed at those words, the mask cracking to reveal an almost shocked expression as he turned to regard his brother. He did not look pleased but mixed with that anger was a sense of fear as he closed his book with a snap, “Genji, you do realize who that man is, correct?”

“No, I thought he was Santa Clause. Of course I know who it is,” Genji rolled his eyes, “Why does that matter?”

“He is an enemy of the clan Genji, not just any fling. The clan has always looked away from your behavior because the lovers you took were no threat. You always showed some care to who you bedded!” Hanzo snapped, “This is not something the clan will turn a blind eye to!”

Genji sat up some, scowling at his brother, “The only way they find out is if you told them and even if you did? It is your call if it is risk or not. You are the heir to the clan, not them,”

Hanzo gritted his teeth and gave Genji's leg a hard push out of his lap, “That is not the point Genji! This could be very well seen as an act of treason!”

For how tense Hanzo was, Genji seemed to show little care, his eyes shifting to his phone as he positioned himself on the couch again comfortably. He paused though to glance at Hanzo, pursing his lips thoughtfully, “You know, I think we should get some pedicures, yes? They always do those foot massages and the like, not to mention I want my toes to look good for-”

“Are you not taking this seriously!?” Hanzo was on his feet, anger surging through him as he glared at his brother, “Does the idea of treason matter so little to you?”

“Oh yes, because having someone fuck me in bed is going to cause you soooo much fucking trouble in the criminal underworld!” Genji snapped back, sitting up with a glower of his own, “You are making a big deal over absolutely nothing! Its a fling! Its rolling in bed, more content on physical pleasure! What, you think I just babble on about my whole fucking family while I have some guys dick in my mouth!?”

Hanzo's temper was only fanned higher by Genji's words, trying to loom over his brother now, “That is not the point!”

“That is exactly the goddamn point! You just don't like I sleep around. You don't like how I act! You want me to act how you want, the picture perfect baby brother that behaves ever so well!” Genji was on his feet now, jabbing a finger hard into the center of his brother's chest, “That is what this is all about and you know it. The clan doesn't suffer from me fucking around with some guy. Never has suffer and never will suffer. You just are pissed I don't do what you want!”

“Sleeping with the enemy is different Genji!” Hanzo corrected with a snarl, “Although I do agree your behavior could use some corrective measures!”

The younger man rolled his eyes, sneering at his brother's words before walking around him to head back to his room. His own temper was pounding in his temples. Within his chest, a thousand horrid words were trying to force their way out. Yet he refrained for now. He had always been a bit better at trying to contain his anger than his brother. For all his calm and attempts to be emotionally aloof, Hanzo could never curb his irritation and frustrations with any little thing, the stress always getting to him and pulling him apart from the inside out. It didn't take long to have Hanzo shouting and lashing out to get his way, scaring family and friends in equal parts when he was at his worse. 

That made Hanzo's anger dangerous though as it had a tendency to rule him more than he ruled it. 

“Genji! Where do you think you are going!? We are not done here!” Hanzo thundered, following on Gneji's heels.

The younger man pulled out a shirt from his suitcase, pulling it on quickly and turning to regard his brother with a venomous look, “I'm going out, what does it look like? I'm not going to sit around this shit hole and listen to you piss and moan about me all day!”

“You are not going out! I forbid it!” Hanzo's usual pale pallor was now completely flushed red with anger, eyes blown wide as if the emotion was trying to burst out of every crack in his body.

Genji smiled at his brother, a tight-lipped, near snarl as he stepped up to him, using that one inch he had on Hanzo to look more intimidating, “You can't forbid me to do anything, Hanzo. You are not the head of the clan and until dad fucking croaks, that is how it is going to be. I don't listen to you, I don't have to listen to you, and you. Don't. Control. Me,” With each word he gave another hard jab of his finger into his brother's chest, eyes narrowing. 

Hanzo was trembling, speechless but not out of any sort of shock but out of pure anger that was burning in his eyes. He was about to blow. All that rancor was being barely contained by his brother's more or less fragile self control. 

“I'm going out,” Genji reaffirmed, stepping around Hanzo, shoving his brother some, “And if you are going to get your dick in a knot over that, more fucking power to you. Personally I say go fuck yourself, anija. Go fuck that sword of yours right up your ass because that only thing you can do right now,”

The look of indignant rage upon Hanzo's face was boiling over more, the flush now all the way down his neck and the vein was practically pulsating with the tension there as the elder brother trembled, “Watch how you speak to me, Genji. You continue this sort of behavior and-”

“And you'll what? Go crying to mommy and daddy and the elders?” Genji mocked, “Go bitching to them and begging them to do something because you can't do a thing, as always, because you just have to have things your way or you just have to throw a fucking fit! Whheeee! Genji put his hand in the enemy's cookie jar daddy! Spank him for me daddy because I'm too much of a-”

Before the thought could finish, Genji's world went white for a moment as a sudden pain erupted in the side of his face. He stumbled back, nearly falling to the ground as one hand came up to quickly touch where Hanzo's fist had just collided. The room went silent and the anger bled out as quickly as it had built. 

Hanzo looked just as shocked at Genji, staring at his brother as realization sunk into his features at what he had just done. Genji just stared at him, shocked and feeling a sudden hurt creeping up in his throat. He wasn't about to cry though, not like he had when they were children and Hanzo would push him around out of anger. It was not the first time Hanzo had struck him at the height of his anger. He didn't respond at all to the anger, no words or retaliation.

Instead he silently turned away, grabbing up his keys, wallet, and cellphone and left the room without a look back at where Hanzo stood. The elder brother did not say a word as his brother left, one arm lifted as if he would stop Genji before it dropped silently to his side again and his eyes fell to the floor.

 

There was no way in hell Genji was going to turn around and go back, not for a long while. Not until Hanzo calmed down more and realized what he had done. Perhaps he was being a bit childish himself, running off, dressed more like he had just rolled out of bed with sweatpants and a t-shirt, but anywhere was better than that room. It didn't help that the only thought he had now were snarls of discontent and feeling the hit was unjustified completely.

He wanted to do something just to piss off Hanzo and the clan just for the hell of it as if doing that would someone stick it to them all for trying to control him. 

It was why within moments of leaving the hotel, sitting on a bus for one of the more distant and scenic boardwalk of the city, he was texting Gabriel and asking if he wanted to hit the bars. One in the morning was as good as any time as far as Genji was concerned when he was going to try and erase the whole fight with his brother and drown the pain away completely. 

He had been doing that since he was fifteen when their mother passed away from a bullet wound to the chest.

It didn't take long for Genji's phone to vibrate to signal a response to his message, “A bit early for that, isn't it?” was the response, perfectly punctuated but in it, Genji could practically read that Gabriel was arching an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah well, I like to vacation fast and hard. You in? Drink now, club later?” Genji leaned back, waiting for the reply, turning to regard the scenery as it passed by.

Within a few minutes, his phone chirped, displaying the response, “I'll pass on the drink. I'll see you at a club later,”

Genji pouted some but couldn't really blame Gabriel for that. The man probably had work or something else to do. He hadn't mentioned anything about himself being on vacation after all, “Meet at Fusion tonight then around seven,”

With the plan made, Genji set about the pre-plan warm-up. Getting off the bus he made a beeline to the first of many bars he planned to solo crawl. He was going to find that comfort deep within the sweet embrace of many an alcoholic beverage, everything from soothing sweet Long Islands to the dour comforts of a Zombie and White Russian. The comfort that had always been there at his worse and always made him the center of every social gathering with friends and helped him escape reality for a few drunken hours. 

By the time seven o'clock began to roll around, Genji was pretty sure that his sense of direction was lost in the spinning world as he staggered forward to the bar at Fusion, eyes already bloodshot and the only thought on his mind was to drink more to try and null the throb of his black eye. Maybe though that isn't even why he was even trying to drink himself into a comma this evening but he had long since swallowed down the real reasons for his destructive behaviors long ago. He all but stretched over the counter, glowering at the bar tender before waving his credit card as he ordered himself another stiff drink, as if to prove that he could still pay for it. Money still spoke louder than anything and the promise of good tips would make even the most morally stout of bartenders keep servin him.

Besides, if they tried to cut him off he was going to make sure someone heard about it. The power of his family could always get managers to throw out the rule book.

“I didn't actually think you were going to start drinking early. I thought you were just trying to edge me on for another one of your games,” The now familiar low rasp of Gabriel's voice wafted its way into Genji's conscious mind as he turned his head to regard the man.

He managed a small smile and shrug before his attention fell to the drink set down in front of him by the bar tender, “I'm still relatively sober I think,” Genji slurred, “Just trying to have a good time! Vacation is all about no drama, no rules, and lots and lots of booze!" 

Gabriel wasn't smiling, his gaze instead falling to the black eye Genji now had from where Hanzo had struck him, “What happened to you?”

“Oh this?” Genji gave a loud laugh, “Family fight! Brother was being a fucking dick, telling me what to do. He doesn't like what I do you know? The sleeping around thing. Always pissing about it,” 

His shoulders sagged as he drew the drink in closer, stirring the small umbrella around the murky liquid some before taking it out, “He hates me. Whole damn clan hates me. Their own fucking fault for my mom an dad being allowed to breed and not getting fixed after they spat out Hanzo. Not like I asked to be born into this stupid life,” 

Gabriel remained silent, not ordering a drink for himself as he watch Genji lean back to chug the whole drink in one gulp as if the alcohol was all that sustained him now. At the very least, in Genji's mind, the drink felt like a temporary gauze on the wounds inside he was trying not to show. 

He was trying to hard not to fall apart in front of Gabriel but he was vaguely aware he probably looked liked the most glorious train wreck to ever cross his path. 

“You keep drinking like that, you are going to regret it,” Gabriel murmured.

“You going to try and stop me?” Genji slurred, scowling, “Everyone always trying to stop me. Don't do this and don't do that. I can do what I want,” 

“I'll rephrase it then. You don't want to drink like that. You are going to regret it,” Gabriel frowned, watching as the bar tender put down another drink in front of Genji who made a dismissive snort.

“One hour of happiness is one hour less of being miserable. Let me have my one hour,” Genji growled, “Or six hours or however, however many hours I want. I know how to pace it to keep the high going on and on and on,”

A part of him knew he was being irrational and making a complete moron of himself but then, that is what he did. He partied. He got drunk and did stupid things that embarrassed the clan and caused the people who called him friends to laugh. Laugh at how he talked. Laugh at how he complained about things as if he had any right to complain. Like a glorious zoo animal, he drank and drank for show and scuttled around in a daze in a ring of people that just were fascinated by the rich boy turning out to be nothing more than a loud,obnoxious drunk. They laughed and laughed, feeling better about themselves at seeing how low he was on the floor, laughing and heaving as he couldn't get up again. 

It always hurt though to return, sober, and be told of what happened, that everyone saw it amusing when in every drink there was a silent sob. He drank to a point to try and stop the hurt he didn't feel justify having. The rich boy. The lucky boy. The one who had no stress and nothing put upon him.

The one that had been forgotten by family and clan from the moment he was born because he was the brat that wasn't suppose to be conceived at all. 

The world's biggest joke that kept the circle of friends laughing and holding out their hands for Genji to pay them off to keep him around. 

Gabriel wasn't laughing though, his frown deepening as he watch Genji push his way to his feet, trying to laugh everything off as he always did, laughing too hard as he turned towards the dance floor, “I'm dancing, you dancing?”

“No,” Gabriel murmured looking away, “I think I should leave,”

“You aren't fun at all,” Genji grumbled, “Invite you out and you don't want to do anything. Would it be better if I just got on your lap now then? Skip all the warm-up and get right to the benefits? I can still fuck while a little tipsy. I fuck better even,”

“No,” the man repeated, "I don't fool around with people who don't know what they are agreeing to,"

Genji just scowled, feeling a lump in his throat before pushing himself away from the bar, “Fine then. I can dance on my own. I don't need you. Not anyone. I'm just fine!”

He was being so terribly irrational, drunk enough he could barely get a single string of thoughts together as moved to the moving mass of people dancing. He could barely stand, weaving in and out of unfamiliar bodies on the dance floor. The lights flashed and music blared, making the entire world spin into a surging mass, stark shadows thrown in dramatic relief on every limp to create pockets of darkness under green, blue, and red lights, forming like demons, twitching to the carnal pace of the late night scene. Genji wanted to dance but his limbs moved so slow, disconnected from the rest of him. Everything seemed too loud and too muffled all at once and he swore he could hear laughter, low as if coming from the mass of legs Genji was staring at as he wandered in the crowd.

Eyes were on him. Lips curled back in sneers. Laughter. Thrumming music at his temples in time with the throb of the bruise on his face. Spinning out of control. What was an escape blurred into a terrifying nothing and the sudden urge to run gripped him. His stomach was pushing up hist throat with the tang of bile as he staggered, desperate to find an escape. He was lost though in a sea of faceless people who didn't pay any attention to another drunk pushing about with no idea of up or down. The fear was growing as if the very dragon within him was clawing to escape, screaming internally in terror as unseen walls closed in, the lights flashing more and the music seeming to get faster and faster and-

There was a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back quickly. Like a lifeline, he was being pulled through the crowd squirming as he clutched at the arm the hand was attached to with a pitiful slurred whine, unable to get any sort of word out of his overwhelmed mind. Then their was a burst of sudden cool air as the lights turned abruptly to night, the ear empty and no longer closed and choked full of smoke. That sudden change pushed him over the edge as he tumbled forward, barely catching himself on a grimy wall. He shook as he began to heave and a spew of vomit found its way out, spurting out to splash against the ground, a whole days worth of alcohol as if his body was trying to purge itself of the poison he had tried to kill himself on.

He was only vaguely aware of a hand rubbing his back and a familiar voice murmuring that he was going to be okay before he slumped forward, closing his eyes and finally blacking out completely. 

The routine thrum of a hangover greeted Genji as his mind resurfaced from his night of excess even before he managed to get his eyes open. The pain was as sharp as ever but not something new. It was something he knew how to deal with and get cleared up in plenty enough time to look presentable and put together in a few minutes. That is, of course, if he wasn't in the hospital again. Usually he passed out or something his so called friends just called an ambulance or his brother, both situations ending up with him being scolded for not showing some self control. Thus when he felt the warmth of a pillow cradling his cheek and after opening his eyes beheld a hotel room, messy, but clearly high class, he was a bit perplexed and his foggy mind offered no answers. He could barely remember going to the club last night as it were, let along who he went home with.

He was just praying it wasn't anyone's wife he was waking up in bed with. Again. 

Slowly Genji sucked in a deep breath of air, rolling over some with a slight groan, bringing a hand up to rub his forehead with the palm of his head to try and relief the pounding slightly, "God fuck," he cursed out in Japanese. 

“I told you that you would regret it,” Gabriel's voice drawled from somewhere behind him. 

Genji's eyes opened and he sat up quickly, wincing as the sudden action sent his head pounding again. He cupped his head in one hand, turning to regard the man who had spoken.Gabriel was sitting off to the side at a small table, computer open and going through something with a cup of coffee in hand. He glanced over to Genji briefly, arching an eyebrow,”What?”

“Not to sound ungrateful or anything but, why am I here and why are you here?” Genji asked, still holding his head, “Usually I wake up in a hospital after one of those nights,”

“Those nights,” Gabriel looked away, frowning,”A bit destructive, don't you think? Getting drunk enough you are throwing up in a back alleyway and blacking out. Someone could have really taken advantage of you,”

Genji shrugged, pulling the sheets to his chest, still wearing the clothes from the day before, “Yeah well, sometimes I get a little carried away. Sorry you had to see that,”

Gabriel just eyed him before letting out a sigh, “You want to talk about it? Not healthy to just drink yourself into oblivion,”

“I thought we weren't going to deal with those sorts of feelings?” Genji asked idly, allowing himself a faint smile, “That this was all about the physical. Heh. Een then, I'm not really being good about actually putting out with you given I'm still dressed,”

“Yeah well, if this is going to be a thing for a few weeks, might as well get the elephant out of the room that you are abusing yourself, have some pretty bad destructive tendencies, and clearly some domestic abuse issues at home,” Gabriel said, the concern clear in his voice, “Or are the bruises new?”

Genji touched the bruise on the side of his face, grimacing, “It isn't abuse. I have everything I want. My brother and I always rough house and get into spats. That is not new. Its just how family is sometimes. There is nothing wrong with my life,”

“Bullshit,” Gabriel growled, “People who are just fine don't start drinking at one and keep going until they are blacking out in an alleyway and could have very well died last night,”

“I don't want to really talk about it then,” Genji brought his knees to his chest, resting his forehead against them, “I guess everything is off then?”he asked, his voice hollow. 

Gabriel watched him for a moment before rising to his feet and moving to take a seat beside Genji, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and lightly rubbing the younger man's back soothingly, “As long as you keep sober, no reason to call it off. I don't do drunks though and I don't like watching people self destruct in front of me,”

A slight smiled touched Genji's lips as he leaned into the touch, shivering some. This was new. The concern and comfort was a strange sort of action no one in his life offered. His bodyguards only did things to keep him alive. His friends, if they could be called that, were there for his money and his prestige and their only stock in keeping him safe was to keep themselves entertained. 

Even Hanzo, for how much Genji knew he cared, never showed much comfort but that was a product of his upbringing.Their home had always been cold and for Hanzo in particularly, all the responsibilities put upon him had taken away so much of the light that use to blaze in his eyes when the were younger. Their mother's death had turned his older brother into an old man quickly.

Thus it was so strange to have someone who was an enemy comforting him and he doubted it was for any sort of gain. Gabriel didn't seem like the type to be emotionally manipulative, not when even this small action had a strange hesitancy as if he wasn't sure it would be well received. Not to mention there would be no benefit to taking all this time to help Genji as there would be no way to force a favor or the like. There wasn't anything really blackmail worthy when Genji's records of alcohol induced hospital visits were common enough he was sure the local hospital in his hometown kept a bed always open for him just in case.

The other thing that touched Genji was the simple fact Gabriel hadn't called it off. He has simply asked him to refrain from hurting himself. That brought a slight warmth to Genji's chest. 

“I won't get drunk again then. I'll give it a try,” Genji murmured, shifting some to press his face some against the warmth of Gabriel's chest, “Does hungover count?”

Gabriel tilted his head some, bringing the hand up from his back up to card through Genji's hair, “You just woke up and that is the only thing on your mind?”

“I want to forget last night more so than I already do,” Genji responded.

The older man paused, frowning some before bringing both hands to Genji's shoulders to turn him towards him.A hand moved up to cup his chin, forcing Genji to look him in the eyes. The gaze was intense and seemed to cut right through him, stirring up something within. The dragon was writhing it felt, responding to something in that gaze.

There seemed to be a sense of care that belayed the cold deteriorate Gabriel exuded and Genji got the feeling that he wasn't here just to give Genji what he wanted.

He wanted to give him something he needed. 

“I think you need to re-learn your techniques when it comes to another partner, even a fling,” Gabriel murmured, stroking his thumb gently against Genji's jaw, “Has anyone ever taken care of you properly and made you feel like you mattered? Has there ever been actual intimacy in anything you did in bed?”

“The way you put it, I am going to guess no one has,”Genji answered softly,slowly moving to set his hands on Gabriel's hips, “Why did you come back for my sorry ass?”

“Because you invited me out and it would be a shit move to leave you passed out on the floor with no one around to help,” Gabriel murmured, “Curse me for being a bleeding heart and being the designated driver for every Overwatch party,”

Genji let out a soft laugh, “You? Really? I would think it would be the poster boy of Overwatch having that role,”

“He's the reason I know how to deal with people who drink to much to run away from problems they don't want to admit they have,” Gabriel responded, “Only you are ten times worse,"

A rueful smile spread across Genji's lips as he let his hands wander over Gabriel's chest, fingering the material of his shirt some, “Well, I'm emotionally damaged goods. Reason one people leave me in the back alley and no one is going to really bother to keep me around. I have money though so I at least get an ambulance call,”

He leaned in to rest his head against Gabriel's shoulder, feeling unsure of himself as he entered this new territory of intimacy, biting his lips lightly, “You are the first who ever pulled me out, even if those reasons turn out to be you just want information about my clan,”

“I doubt you would have any information I don't already know,” Gabriel cupped Genji's face lightly, giving a slight smirk, “Most reports say the second son is so far out of the loop he isn't worth the time to bother. Besides, I think you are very good at deflecting conversations you don't want to have,”

That drew a laugh from Genji as he shook his head, “I suppose it is a talent I have from years of practice but really, imagine that. Not even the enemy cares enough to place moles around me.Well, unless they are planning to kidnap me,”

“Would your clan really pay a ransom for you?” Gabriel asked, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

Genji just smirked some, both hands rising to cup Gabriel's face, “No, but they might cause some trouble. I'm annoying but my brother isn't about to let me go anywhere. He cares,even if his temper gets away from him. Enough about all that though,” He leaned in to press a quick kiss to Gabriel's lips, pulling back and almost looking shy, “How about you show me what it means to be taken care of?”

~*~

The sun was setting again by the time Genji returned to the hotel room, sore again but practically glowing on the inside, covered in a fresh array of love marks and a new perspective of what he preferred in bed. The sex was good and all but good lord, the whispers and loving caresses, the absolute feeling of being adored were things he was never going to go without when it came to a partner. Slow and steady to a fast and furious pay off, that is what it meant to be “taken care of”. The experience was emotionally satisfying as much as physically. Not to mention any post romp care involving cuddling naked and watching cartoons was probably the single greatest experience of his life. 

That feeling of elation dimmed some though at seeing Hanzo sitting on the couch, looking like he hadn't slept properly, trying to concentrate on the TV but it was more than obvious he was troubled. His shoulders were so tense, Genji could practically see the muscles twitching nervously. Hanzo was always his opposite. Where he always indulged in excess, the elder starved himself from daring to even think about doing anything that could be potentially shameful.

The stress of the clan and the weight of being an heir had shaped him into a man made of glass trying to appear as a man made of diamond. 

“Genji,” He turned to regard his brother rising to his feet before looking away and sinking back down,”I'm sorry. I … I should not have hit you like that and I have no excuse,”

“You were angry,” Genji murmured, “You always get like that when you are angry,” 

He moved to sit next to his brother quietly, “And I was being rather flippant towards your concerns but, please. I know what I'm doing okay?”

“I don't like it but I will not tell the clan,” Hanzo murmured, “It is....harmless as you say and I was being rash because you are right. It does bother me. It bothers me though because of how the rest of the clan talks about it Genji,”

“Let them talk. One day you'll be heir and can pass a law about or or something. No talking about Genji's affairs. Too many to name,” He gave a small, tired smile, “I don't like it when we fight, anija,”

Hanzo nodded, “Neither do I. Afterwards I always feel-” he paused, shaking his head, “I don't want to fight like that again. I don't want to ever hurt you like I did yesterday,”

Genji gave a pat to his brother's shoulder before rising again to his feet. It was not like Hanzo to completely come clean with his feelings and there was still so much left unsaid, but for a Shimada, that had been more than usually what was said.

“Just control your temper before it gets us both killed, yeah?” He teased lightly, trying to make light of things as ever, “I'm heading to bed. Maybe in the morning we can, I don't know, do something boring like go to a museum like you like to do? I can spare you my daytime hours and meet up with my current lover in the evening,”

Hanzo's brow furrowed and a slight frown touched his lips, “You call him your lover now? Not a fling?”

“Fling is once. Twice is well, different,” Genji gave a shrug, turning to hide the flush rising to his cheeks, “He's really good in bed,”

Good in and out of bed was an understatement boarding on a lie. Gabriel was good in all the ways that made Genji feel wanted and feel almost lonely without him around to press against, burying his face into his scent. Already he was starting to feel a yearning and his fingers were itching to text the other man and ask about what they could do tomorrow evening. 

It was a strange feeling and the first time this sort of attachment had ever grown between him and a partner. It no longer felt like a game even though he was trying to tell himself it was. Still just a game and nothing more. Just the benefits of the game were turning out to be a lot better than he had initially thought. 

Something inside of him was starting to writhe and awaken like a slumbering dragon being disturbed from its lair.

“If that is all it is,” Hanzo murmured slowly, “I'll turn a blind eye. If the clan asks though, I will speak but tell them it is nothing serious,” 

“If the clan asks, I'll tell them what is going on. I can defend myself. You shouldn't have to suffer for my antics,” Genji responded firmly, looking over his shoulder, “Let me bear the stress of what I do and you just stress about everything else,”

Hanzo managed a tight lipped smile, “I'll try to do so,”

Genji gave him one of his wide, toothy smiles before he retired to his room to change into something that wasn't over a day old. He didn't put them in the hamper no. Instead he brought the discarded shirt up to his nose to inhale, catching a whiff of that cologne that Gabriel wore, closing his eyes. 

The scent was practically intoxicating and stirred something other than just his lust. 

It was like smelling something that he yearned to mark and claim as his own.

But it was just a game still. That is what he told himself as he dropped the article of clothing to the floor, letting out a sigh and heading towards the bathroom. It was just a game.

To a dragon though, a game and a hunt were more or less one and the same.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad chapter is sad but things got to go this way! Next chapter I promise has a bit more of a lift though c: Got to build the drama and tensions to the peak! Thank you all for the support <3

Within a week, all that Genji could surmise was everything he had planned had gone wrong and he had made a rather fatal mistake in this game. He had committed the worse possible misstep, one he had never once committed on the past. 

For the first time playing this age old game of seduction, a game he always played with relative ease, he was feeling in over his head and a small hint of anxiety over this new development. Not because of who he was currently having an affair with or anything done by Gabriel or by Hanzo for that matter. For now, his brother was more or less holding his tongue on the whole affair even though his disproval was always felt. No, the reason for Genji's conclusion came from something both simple and yet exceedingly complex. 

Genji realized he was no longer interested in just Gabriel's attention or company. Not even completely interest in the physical pleasures they had been indulging in. What he craved was simple affections from Gabriel, just being in the other man's company, and just being able to talk. Every timethat he was around the Blackwatch commander now, he felt something new in his chest, something tight, sharp, warm, and yet anxious. A sudden flutter that had him nearly breathless and at ease. A feeling that was nothing but confusing contradictions and yet felt so perfectly wrong it was more addictive than any drug.

He was in love.

The feeling building up in his chest, the longing, the almost physical ache of being parted felt like nothing else Genji had experienced. Love was the only thing he could put to it. Something new he had never experienced before, that he had always scoffed at when people had whispered it to him like it meant anything, but now he was no better. Now that four letter word meant something, had a feeling to define it and brought whispers of possibility to his mind. It became so easy to just imagine things with Gabriel there, as if he just fit in perfectly to ever future plan Genji could imagine. Like a missing piece from every puzzle his life had created. 

He was in love with the enemy of his clan, infatuated by Gabriel Reyes and every though of him brought a sense of strange desire. The feeling came with an itch beneath his skin and a fluttering thrill of electricity as the dragon spirit within had seemed to grow more active. It literally felt like the beast at times wanted to burst out of his skin and wrap up around Gabriel at the height of passion. That feeling was making Genji feel incredibly uncomfortable at times, but for now, he was able to contain the dragon’s power. Never though in the past had he had to actually worry about the dragon within him acting up with a partner. The spiritual beast had always been rather dormant in its reactions to others unless its powers were called upon. 

The elders had legends about such a feeling, something they termed 'Dragon Fervor", where the feeling of endearment resulted in the dragon wanting to bond to a second person, creating a tie between two souls. A bond where feelings were shared and felt and the devotion, the sheer desire to protect one anothe,r surpassed all other lesser bonds of loyalty. A dragon’s mate. A lot of fairy tale stories in Genji’s opinion. Just some ancient story to try and tie feelings of lust, attachment, and desire to the dragon spirits. There were hundreds of similar far fetched stories like that with very few having any sort of facts involved. Still, it felt now like there was something to it with how Genji grew excited at seeing Gabriel’s name pop up on his phone with a message or call and felt the dragon ripple under his skin almost.

Just the idea of going out with him brought a giddy sort of joy that Genji was fearful of. He was losing control of the game for the simple fact he had given his heart away without even noticing but all of that he kept contained under a smirk. He kept his words biting and hid the affections. It would pass. A Shimada never let the enemy see what went on behind the mask.

Love wasn't eternal and could be changed. No one swore love forever, no matter what the legends of bonded dragons said. There was no such thing as love beyond death, beyond a hundred lives to live in reincarnation where it was always fated to repeat. That no matter what form spirits took in the next life and the lives to come, destiny had already entwined them together to find each other. That nirvana on earth in the arms of one another was guaranteed for all time. Eternal happiness. Genji kept his mind pragmatic about his growing affections. 

He was in love but it was something that skimmed the surface of affection and did not plunge below. A first time crush was just hard to deal with was all. 

Even if his desires for Gabriel's company seemed to only grown stronger, Genji put his faith in it being a thing that would pass. It would hurt no doubt, but he was confident it couldn't hurt that bad when things ended. Nothing he couldn't handle. For now, he enjoyed Gabriel's company to the fullest and it seemed the other man had some sort of affection for him as he had invited the Shimada to stay at his room at times after their nightly tours of the city. It was becoming like a second room to Genji and sometimes he spent more time there than his own. 

Genji stretched out on the bed, wearing Gabriel's shirt as he checked his cellphone, his own clothes scattered about here and there in the room among Gabriel's things. The other man wasn't remarkably neat and as long as it wasn't in the way, wherever the clothing sat, it was fine to stay there. 

Gabriel was at his laptop, doing some work. Supposedly the last week or two he was on a work retreat which was code for vacation with some small attempt to work just to say he did. Being a commander it seemed meant learning to find ways to get around the vacation time limit when there weren't enough days to truly unwind. It was the sort of thing Genji wished Hanzo would employ rather than just being literally ordered by their father to slow down. Maybe it would help his brother to deal with the stress.

The younger man glanced over to Gabriel, smiling some, “Nearly done?”

“Aren't you impatient today,” Gabriel murmured.

“We only have a few more days left. I want to take advantage of our time together,” Genji drawled, rolling onto his stomach, “Anything I can help you with?” 

Gabriel gave a faint snort, “This is classified information, Genji,”

“Not too classified if you work on it on a hotel laptop,” Genji pointed out, “I'm sure you would put matters of world security where a cleaning lady could accidentally see,”

The man just gave a quiet chuckle, “You never know. What is it you want to do tonight that has you so anxious?”

“Nothing really. Just want to go out with you. I found a Japanese restaurant,” Genji gave a smirk, “I just want to see you struggle with chopsticks,”

Gabreil gave a shake of his head and a chuckle. Just that small sound had Genji's heart skipping a beat to set a faster tempo and a small smile finding its way onto his lips. Really the only reason he wanted to go to this restaurant was to share something from his homeland, even if the authenticity of the food was questionable. He wanted something personal in the food they shared just like when they had any sort of Mexican food, Gabriel could go on for days explaining it all, giving the food some history and touch of familiarity that made Genji smile. He just wanted to return that favor. 

Really though, he would love nothing more than to show Gabriel his real home, everything from the parks to the ramen stands he coveted as his favorite places to be. After all, the man before him had been giving him a tour of this city and they had eaten at some fantastic places and seen sights he hadn't thought would be entertaining. No bars or clubs, no temptations to drink had been put in front of him and really, Genji didn't feel like drinking, not when Gabriel didn't seem to like seeing him too drunk to function. He felt like he didn't even have any reason to drink. 

He felt happy and that was a feeling more satisfying than the cold comforts of alcohol. 

 

In a strange way, the other man had given him something better to focus on than just the hurt and pain. But all of that was putting Genji more into this uncertain territory outside the usual game. This was no longer about seduction, it was about longing. He didn't want this time to end and the risks he was starting to rationalize to somehow come up with ways they could make this relationship last were somewhat alarming. They were risk he would never even dream of taking with anyone else. It made it really all the more clear how things needed to end before they both ended up getting hurt. For now though, he could push those thoughts away. He had three days to enjoy acting like he was allowed to love who he wanted. 

Genji closed his eyes, lifting the shirt up some to enjoy the scent. He loved Gabriel's scent. A mix of cologne and sweat that was all his own that had the younger man sighing softly. That was the scent of comfort and protection. The smell was intoxicating and made the itching feeling under his skin grow.

“Enjoying yourself?” Gabriel asked, hist tone amused.

Genji cracked open an eye to look at him as he rolled onto his back, the shirt still pulled up to his nose, “I am. I like your cologne a lot,”

that earned a slight chuckle from Gabriel as he shut down the laptop, getting to his feet, “That isn't something I get complimented on a lot,”

“You should get complimented on it,” Genji sat up, making room for the other man to sit, “It makes me feel better,”

Gabriel took a seat on the edge of the bed, not at all complaining when Genji was quick cuddle up close, tucking his head up against his broad shoulder, “Your cologne isn't half bad." Gabriel said, turning to regard his younger lover, "You don't drown yourself in it like a lot of young men tend to do,”

“A lot of young men like to think body spray is a good enough substitute for bathing though,” Genji chuckled, running his fingers up over Gabriel's biceps, “I'm going to miss you,”

Those five words slipped out, nearly a whisper. He was going to miss Gabriel and part of him wanted to ask if there was a way to continue this. Not physically, but just talking. Texting. Just being to know that when he felt at his lowest, when he felt the siren call of the bottle, he could talk to someone. That maybe that would be enough to curb his tendencies. 

“It has to end though,” Gabriel murmured, wrapping one arm about Genji, “For your own safety. I am still your enemy,”

“I know it does,” Genji let out a sigh, scowling some at the floor, “I know it has to end and I have to go home and everything goes back to being the same. Right now though? I'm hating myself. Everything was easier when I wasn't-” 

He trailed off and let out a loud sigh, rising to his feet and turning to face Gabriel, resting both his hands on his shoulders, “I've lost the game haven't I?”

“What does it take to win?” Gabriel asked, arching an eyebrow, “Getting me into bed? Getting beyond fighting it out over you stealing my wallet which you never returned?”

“I returned it,” Genji defended with a pout, “I just bought you a new one! Yours was falling apart had a hole in the change pocket. All your cards were in there and your ID cards. I was a good pick pocketing ninja,”

“So do I win because I got a new wallet out of this? And free dinner?” He asked, still smirking.

He was being frustrating and Genji couldn't keep the smile off his face as he just gave him a slight push of the shoulders and took a step back, trying to look like he was upset. Gabriel always did snip back at comments, breaking the tension by being somewhat of an ass. Still Genji liked that about him. 

He always could make him feel better and get his own fire sparked back up from the worse of moods.

It also though sparked that fire of attachment, that love that was locked deep in his chest with his pounding heart. 

“Gabriel? I think there are very few things I wouldn't do for you,” Genji fondly remarked, “Free dinner is on me,”

The restaurant was good for being American Japanese. The ramen, at the very least had its own unique taste that Genji could appreciate. Not to mention it cracked him up completely when Gabriel pretended he was some sort of expert on food, making small comments. Genji played along, the two probably being the most ridiculous pair of asshole wannabe food critics to dine, both of them trying not to laugh and just-

Everything had felt right. 

Now he was walking side by side with Gabriel, hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts just enjoying the cool night air and the sound of the ocean lapping against the shoreline. He had never really taken in the sights of the world around him too much, focusing more on the parties. His life had always been indoors and very rarely outdoors but to experience it with someone else, someone he cared about...

“You are something else Gabriel. A week ago you were just a pretty face and a body to die for,” Genji commented, smiling some.

“And you were a pain the ass I wanted to bury under the pavement,” a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, “My how things change,”

Genji let out a soft laugh, moving towards the railing separating the path they were on from the beach below, empty now with a calm night above, nothing like the storm they had battled in, “They have. A lot in fact,” 

He looked over at his companion, letting his eyes trail over him admiring how well carved his form was and committing this sight to his memory, how perfect and at ease he looked right now under the cover of night with only the dim illumination of the boardwalk string lights gracing his curves. At first glance , he no doubt put a lot of people out as smiles didn't come easy to his expression at first and the usual smirk or arrogant sneer he wore could be seen as intimidating. Yet underneath, there was the true beauty, that gruff care he showed, the man who pulled Genji out and didn't just drop him.

Life would be wonderful if they could stay like this forever, no clan or Overwatch, just complete freedom from all duties. If it all ended, there would be no reason, nothing holding them back from being together, complimenting each other and starting where the other ended in an eternal complete circle. 

The ache began again and the itch started beneath his skin as the spirit twisted up again, but he looked away, trying to focus on the water, “Would it be okay if I kept your number? Maybe call you once in a while?” Genji asked softly, “Catch up on things every now and then?”

“I don't think your clan would like that much,” Gabriel murmured, leaning against the railing beside him, “ I won't block your number though or anything but I don't think it is wise to keep the personal number of an enemy on your phone,”

Genji just gave a small shrug, “That's fine. You are like the first person I've talked to who doesn't just want my bank account or to be my bride,” He chuckled softly, closing his eyes, “I think I might even like you,”

The crash of the waves punctuated the silence with a gentle hiss as the water receded again. Genji didn't look over at Gbriel, didn't want to see his expression. All this time he knew Gabriel probably noticed his behavior was changed, that he wasn't that drunk party playboy from before. He wasn't always smirking and plotting all the time to win the game he had already lost. 

He was a desperate fool in love with the enemy. 

The only hope he had was Gabriel let him go gently, told him he was being done. Tell him this was only friendship at most. He prayed for the other man to do what was needed even if Genji knew it would break his heart. A broken heart could repaired if broken early.

He wanted the truth, not whatever sugar coated words that were said to keep him happy because at the end of the day, the only thing that could keep him happy was some way this all could work out.

A hand fell upon his shoulder and a soft sigh escape Gabriel, his own gaze on the ocean ahead, “Maybe this is where we should part ways then,” he said quietly, “To make a clean break. Before we get in any deeper into this,”

Genji gave a nod, feeling his entire chest clench and his heart speed up. His stomach was twisting in knots and he felt sick, “Yeah. Like I'm not already feeling too deep into this,” He whispered, “We still got three more days,”

“And it isn't going to get any easier Genji,” Gabriel murmured, the hand tightening some, “You know this can't work out. There was no way possible from the start,”

“At the start, there was no problem. You weren't anyone,” Genji retorted, his voice trembling, “You were literally just a fling, some entertainment, someone fun to mess with but now?”

He raised a hand, angrily rubbing at his eyes, hating himself for showing this much emotion. Shimadas were not suppose to show anything. It was dangerous in their line of work to be attached. Even to your own family, there had to be distance in case the worse were to occur. Keep it bottled up and don't let the enemy ever see you cry.

He couldn't help it though, not when his glass, happy world was shattering.

“Why did you have to treat me like I was someone who deserved to be loved?” Genji whispered.

Gabriel looked away, his hand slipping from Genji's shoulder, “I'm sorry,”

Those two words brought a choked laugh out of Genji and for the first time in a while he wanted a drink. He wanted a dozen drinks. He wanted to drown himself and his misery all over again and let some faceless stranger ravage his body and fuck away everything he felt. He wanted to completely relapse into destruction to try and make the pain go away. 

“I'm sorry too,” Genji managed out, “But I guess this is goodbye then? Just, get out of here quickly then. Let's do this like taking a band aide off, quick and as painless as possible. The more we talk and drag this out, the more it is going to hurt both of us. We fucked up. We got involved. Not like we knew it would turn out like this but, just, just go. Not a single word more. If you care, if you really care, you'll do that for me right now, no questions,”

He kept his gaze forward, shoulders hunched, scowling even as he felt the tears stream down his face. Gabriel stood there for a few more moments. He could smell that cologne still in the air, feel him so close by. He could imagine the frown on his face, how he wanted to say something but he remained silent and turned away. Genji knew he would because he did care. Out of everyone out there, he listened to Genji, didn't try push himself into his life. He cared in that gruff way but in his posture, Genji could see how much he wanted to stay too.

Because he had made the same mistake Genji made. 

That Genji knew laying on the boardwalk that night wasn't one broken heart and pile of pulverized dreams, but two.

Genji didn't even have to look to know he had left. The sudden departure of that scent that had always been close told it all. It was only then that the young man buried his face in his hands, teeth gritted, trying to contain himself. The longing remained, a forlorn cry of a dragon deep inside wanting something more, itching under Genji's skin and wanting to be free and rush out in pursue, desperate and writhing all the more agitated and making Genji's distress all the more apparent now.

Of all the people he had to fall in love with first, it had to be a man that was an enemy. The one person he couldn't have.

The one person he wanted to have forever, to share in those lazy laughs and cuddles and to hear his voice against his ear, mumbling a good morning. 

They could have really been something beautiful together. 

That break-up was harder than he thought, more painful than anything he had experience, and his mind hated pain, any pain. He desperately rushed to grasp onto something to nullify it completely once more and the comfort of a bottle was all that remained, the only option that came quickly to mind. 

For the first time in a week, Genji returned to the suite drunk, stumbling in the door, fumbling with the button of his pants, staring off. He barely even acknowledge his brother who was already frowning, a cup of tea in hand as he sat on the couch, already dressed for bed, “Well then, what happened with you? You usually aren't so solemn when coming back from the embrace of your lover,” Hanzo drawled, quirking an eyebrow. 

“My ex-lover. We broke things up,” Genji murmured. 

Just saying it out lout seemed to acknowledge again that that had come to past and the misery seemed to set in heavier. For a moment Genji debated just turning around and going to the hotel bar to order another dozen drinks until he couldn't think. 

“Well that is for the best,” Hanzo's shoulders seemed to ease at the news, “That whole messy affair is dead and done with. You'll feel better once we are home and maybe you can focus on your duties a bit more,”

“No I won't,” Genji retorted, looking away, scowling, “I haven't felt better about anything for a long time, anija and clan duties? Right. Getting hitched to some woman I hate just like you are. Wonderful. I can't wait to be sold of like a sack of meat by father,”

Hanzo warily eyed Genji as the younger Shimada shuffled pass towards his room, “What cause for complain do you have? There is no reason for you not to be happy and I'm sure you'll find someone you get along with. You always seemed to enjoy the company of all your lovers,”

“I've got a lot of fucking cause for complain. You think money and getting everything I want is good for me? You think I like having no one give a flying fuck about how I feel? Not even you care! Just piss off,” Genji slurred, “I wish the clan would disown me. I would probably be happier living in a gutter,”

“You are being ridiculous,” Hanzo grumbled, “I care about you,”

“Yes because your love taps show you care so much,” Genji snapped, “I liked you better before mom died,” 

The room grew quiet immediately and Hanzo looked away sharply but didn't speak again. Genji just hunched his shoulders, slamming the door behind him with one foot and stripped down to his boxers, collapsing back on his bed. Both arms rose to cover his face as he gritted his teeth. 

Everything was going to go back to normal. Three more days in this stupid city,then back home to the manor and his usual haunts. The usual bar tenders who didn't even ask what he wanted, just lined up the drinks in a nice neat row for him to drink one at a time. The partners already lined up behind him, their hands already on his body as he fell back into them. He would wake up the same every morning, unsatisfied with the night before,pushing off a simpering lover to get dressed and leave without even asking for a name or number. 

The same empty routine to combat the aching loneliness he felt that would be so much more now after having gotten a taste of what it was like to really have someone who cared. Someone who laughed at his smug statements and responded with banter of his own. That arrogant, cocky smile when he felt like he was being challenged. How he fought and never held back. 

How every time Genji felt those arms around him, he felt safe, protected. 

Needed and adored.

That someone had seen him at his worse, as the train wreck he was and still found that desirable. 

The tears couldn't be stopped this time, not with the alcohol in his system ripping down his will. 

It hurt. It wasn't going to stop hurting. 

Love wasn't something so simple to wash away. That yearning inside his chest, the itching feeling only seemed to get worse but he ignored it. He tried to.

Three more days and there would be no more temptations. Just three more days and there would be an ocean between them and nothing but memories that would fade into the routine of the old. 

Just three more days to nurse this pain before it simply became another emotional scar he bore and will his dragon back to the dull inactivity it had always had before and not this crying beast that seemed to hurt in tandem with him. 

Just three more days.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here is another steamy chapter! Got to earn that rating, although the tone of this one is not as dirty as the last one u__u Wanted to show the change of things from the first time to now c:
> 
> Enjoy it though. Things are going downhill from here for a while ; w ;

It was getting harder to sleep. Even in his sleep, his dreams were filled with Gabriel just as much as his thoughts were when he was awake. Genji was practically itching in his own skin, burning from the inside out with a desire he wasn't quiet sure of but one that he had never felt.

He felt torn. There was one person on his mind that both accelerate the pulse of his heart and yet, at the same time, cooled the burning as if the dragon inside was pleased by mere memories of the man who's presence would not leave the aching Shimada alone. Gabriel. Every thought was of him. That smile, that confidence, the way he carried himself, everything from his scent to the way he snorted when trying to hold back a laugh, all those things were a constant stream of thought through his mind.

Genji felt like he was haunted, absolutely desperate for something. The dragon inside him felt restless and at times he found himself starting to lose control, letting its energies seep out, scorching beds sheets and leaving rents on the bathroom vanity. It was behavior though Hanzo was noticing, eyeing his brother in concern. Really Genji couldn't blame him for being worried. This was not his usual attitude nor the playboy style he had always exude. Something was different now. In the two days since their break-up, he had become to turn into someone new, someone that displeased Hanzo even more so than before. 

“We are returning home in one more day,” Hanzo announced, “Our vacation is up and it is time we returned to our duties, yes?”

“Mmm,” Genji murmured, staring listlessly into his rice porridge, “Sounds fine,”

Hanzo arched a single eyebrow, his frown deepening, “You really have no comment about this?”

“Was I suppose to write a speech for this occasion?” Genji snapped, scowling.

He looked up at his brother, his eyes ringed with black circles indicating his lack of sleep the past two days, and the over abundance of alcohol he had been swimming in. The look in his eyes was blank although a simmer of heat lingered, “Can I eat my breakfast without you making snide comments?”

“I wasn't making any sort of snide comment,” Hanzo objected, “Just usually-”

“Yeah well, usually you don't tell me things I already know unless you want to be a smug bastard and rub something in my face,” Genji snarled, “Just let me eat my breakfast and enjoy my last day,”

Hanzo scowled some, bristling at Genji's words as he crossed his arms, “Enjoy your last day? The past few days you've been a miserable little wretch drinking yourself into an early grave,”

“Whatever,” Geni murmured, looking away with a scowl.

He was so tired of it all. He tried to drink and just go about things as he had before only to find nothing did anything to make him feel better. The alcohol couldn't even give him an illusion that things were okay anymore.

In his mind, he just wanted one thing.

One person.

Genji let out a sigh and got to his feet before slinking back to his room without a word, ignoring Hanzo's looks in his direction. Worry or disgust seemed to be the only two emotions his brother was currently capable of and neither one were of particular interest to Genji. What his brother thought was starting to become less and less important as was the clan as a whole. 

He was just tired of it all.

The young man flopped back onto his bed, picking up his cellphone, thumbing through his contacts until he came to a pause on Gabriel's number. He should delete it and just remove the temptation to text him and ask if he wanted one more night. Each time he tried though he could never do it. He never could delete that number. Instead, he heaved another sigh and let his hand drop to the bed as he closed his eyes. The dragon was anxious again, writhing and burning beneath his skin. Genji gritted is teeth, wrapping his arms about him as he rolled onto his side, curling up at the burning starting to become a dull pain as he tried to contain the dragon within. After a few minutes, the feeling subsided as it always did, leaving Genji shaking and feeling trapped in his own skin.

Maybe he just needed some air before he literally burned up from the inside out over some desire that was thrumming in his very core that he wasn't even sure about. It hurt to get up, his joints all stiff as he dressed and dragged himself out the door, still hungover, still burning. He probably appeared like some sort of burnt out druggy by how haggard he looked now and dressed in sweatpants and whatever shirt he found first. Even college students on final week looked more decently dressed.

 

It wasn't long until he found himself at a bar, nursing a bloody mary gloomily as he stared off. Twelve o'clock in the afternoon to start his binge was really a new low for him. Last time he was at this this early he ended up at a club and... 

Genji closed his eyes, gritting his teeth some. 

“What am I doing here?” He murmured under his breath, raising a hand to rub the bridge of his nose, “What the fuck am I doing here?” 

He slid away from the bar and pulled out his cellphone, once more pulling up Gabriel's number, his thumb hovering over the screen before he bit his lip and pressed the text button, writing a small, simple word. 

“Hey” 

Even on that short message he hesitated, not sure if he should send it or not, hands trembling before he sighed and deleted it again. Why was he still torturing himself just because he wanted to see Gabriel? Hadn't they broken up?

A nasty little voice in his head though sneered though that it was him who told Gabriel to leave the last time they were together. He had driven him up with how much of a fuck-up he was. It was his own damn fault he was in this situation. He closed his eyes and turned off his phone, sliding it back into his pocket. He let out a sigh and buried his face against his arms as he leaned against the wall just beside the door of the bar, probably looking like he was having a fit.

What was he doing with his life?

He left the bar, more than aware of the looks he was getting from the patrons and not in the mood to indulge in more drink. At least not now. Genji felt entirely too sick with that gnawing, awful feeling in his stomach to even try to gulp down another drop of alcohol. Instead he began to wander, his traitorous feet taking him to every single place he had been with Gabriel during the happier time the shared together. Every step felt like he was walking backwards rather than forwards past every restaurant and landmark. He could quietly recall every happy memory and conversation. He could remember laughter. Gabriel had a laugh that could come off as arrogant and sarcastic one moment but sometimes be very open, more genuine and matched the eased expression of mirth he wore. 

His smile. His frowns. His roll of the eyes. His winks. His remarks that always had Genji laughing without even trying and feeling moved when they became a touch more intimate. 

He relived every happy moment of the week and felt like breaking down all over gain but he didn't. His expression remained blank and lost as he wandered the city, not even sure what he was looking for anymore. He just wanted to capture one last moment, one last memory of Gabriel.

He was in love and anything, even the ire of his clan, felt a better punishment than this empty ache that thrummed in his body as if all that he was had been sucked out. Genji hadn't even realized the sun has set until the streetlights started to flicker on and the boardwalk started to come alive with sounds of happy hours carrying on the wind. 

Genji didn't join this time, didn't indulge in answering that siren sound of cheap drinks that told him with a whisper they could take the pain away, instead he wandered away, moving closer to the beach, kicking up piles of sand as he walked the empty expanses with the ocean lapping away gently, perfectly serene. Before he had even realized it he had come to a stop and he had withdrawn his phone again, staring at the screen.

The cool night air touched his cheeks as he once more pulled up Gabriel's number, feeling the pang grow but unable to go on like this. He wanted something more than the brusque breakup they had. He needed more. He wanted more. He deserved more. Genji finally caved in and let his thumb glide over the letters, quickly typing a message. 

“Hey. Its me,” He sent it although he did wait long before adding another message as if afraid Gabriel wouldn't respond unless he said more. 

“I'm leaving tomorrow and I miss you. Maybe we can see each other again? Just one more time. Nothing serious?” 

Genji sent that message before biting his lip hanging his head. Yeah. Nothing serious all right. Nothing serious but he was losing his mind and so hopefully wrapped up in need for Gabriel that he would give anything to change the whole situation between them. The dragon was acting up now and he winced as he fought to keep it contained, hand trembling as he sent another quick message. 

“I'm sorry. I must sound so needy and stupid right now. I just want a better goodbye. I'm sorry. I was an idiot last time just lashing out,” he bit his lip, feeling a sting of tears in them as he typed out the four words he desperately hoped were true “Please don't hate me,”

“I love you,” He added in a whisper although he did not text that. If he ever admitted that to Gabriel, he was afraid of the answer he would get. 

He was afraid of Gabriel telling him he loved him back because that would make this all the more harder.

But Gabriel's love was what he desired more than anything even if in the end, it would just be another pain to endure. 

“I'm at the beach. Down by the usual spot. The ocean is nice tonight. I hope you will come. I'm waiting,” He texted before shutting off the phone and putting it away. 

He dropped to the ground, sitting in the sand as he ran both hands through his short green hair, gritting his teeth as he stared out over the ocean. Tomorrow he would be on a twelve hour flight back to Japan, putting more and more distance between himself and Gabriel for good.

Everything would go back to being the same thing. He would go back to drinking and sleeping around without a care to try and survive the pain that he always dealt with inside. The oppressive sadness that chewed away at his mind would come back as strong as before and just as bitter.

He brought his knees to his chest and let his forehead press against them, closing his eyes with a soft sigh. Gabriel probably wouldn't even come, not to see his sorry ass. He had better people to be with and worry about, not some washed up crime lord's son that was technically is enemy. He had people who were worth his actual time.

The hours passed with gentle sweeps of the tide as it started to climb up the beach slowly but sure and the din of the bars behind him began to die down, the sound of merriment no longer carrying to where he sat, solitary. Alone.

Unwanted.

Genji let out a soft sigh, digging his hands into the sand as he leaned back on them, lifting his gaze up to the stars, trying to swallow back the disappointment. 

“Guess he's not coming,” he said out loud, just to at least hear one human voice even if it was his own.

Slowly he rose to feet and brushed the sand off himself and turned to head back to his room to pack. No doubt Hanzo would be dragging him out the door as early as possible. He lifted his tired gaze only to go rigid. If he had been drunk, he would have thought he was seeing things.

A figure was moving down the beach towards him, dressed in all black, the tell-tale, far too famliar sweatshirt on with the hood up just as it had been when they had met to fight. Genji felt his legs move before he even realized he was running, only slowing down as he got closer to Gabriel, swallowing hard. 

“Hey,” Gabriel murmured, flicking his eyes up to meet Genji's face.

The young man stood and stared at Gabriel, eyes wide for just a moment before he pulled him close and into a heated, hungry kiss, barely containing the sob that escaped him. He expected Gabriel to pull away, even if it was gently to tell him to stop. Instead, the other man pressed into the kiss, just as passionate and raw, one hand wrapping about Geni's hips as the other hand buried itself in his hair.

Genji's arms found their way around Gabriel, pulling him close as his hands curled against his back possessively, not wanting this kiss to end and putting ever bit of feeling he could. He wanted him to know how much he loved him, how much he cared, how much the other man had done to save him from a solitude he hadn't know was so wretched. 

He could have kissed him longer if not for the need to breath. They parted, both panting as Genji dropped his gaze some, face flushed and lips already bruised, a coy smile adorning his expression, “Hey,” He managed, his voice hoarse, “I thought you wouldn't come,”

“Wasn't exactly close,” Gabriel murmured, moving to cup Genji's chin lightly, “But I came as soon as I saw your messages,”

He lifted Genji's face towards his, leaning in again, eyes half closed as he trailed his gaze over Genji's face, taking in every little detail, “I don't hate you either Genji. I don't want you to think for a moment that that is true,” 

“I just,” Genji wanted to look away but he couldn't. Instead he heaved a sigh, letting his eyes instead trace over the scars on Gabriel's face, “I don't know what to do but,if there is away to make this work, I want to try it,”

“Genji,” Gabriel murmured, “Our factions will never cease their fight. You know that,”

Genji lowered his head, moving to press his face against Gabriel's shoulder, taking in that addicting scent that always clung to his person, eyes sliding close, “Do I know that? My father always says that the happy endings are real, it just takes work to get there. There has to be a way that we can be free and together. I know I said just one last night, I know what I texted but the truth is its all a bunch of bullshit, a mask, because I can't say it. Because I'm afraid. Because I'm-”

His words were cut off by another kiss, this one deeper, gentle yet biting enough for him to feel Gabriel behind it, taste him so more acutely than ever before. All words left Genji as he hands found Gabriel's shoulders and he pulled him closer.

He got his answer.

In mere moments, Genji was back on the sand, back pressed into the soft yielding earth as Gabriel pressed in for another kiss, this one more urgent and demanding, so very hungry as if he was desperately trying to eat Genji alive through sheer passion. He felt the other man's weight on him and he grinded up against that unyielding wall of muscle above him, a muffled moan escaping him as he wrapped both arms about Gabriel's neck and his legs about his hips. 

He was burning up worse than before. He was desperate and the dragon was flaring, writhing and screaming beneath his skin, just adding to the intensity of this single moment. The crash of the ocean was no longer relaxing but a pulsating tempo that seemed to grow louder with each press and kiss, the hiss of the receding tide matching each drawn out moan of pleasure that was pulled from Genji's throat as Gabriel marked the pale column of his neck again and again.

The possessive rake of teeth against his skin was awakening something, driving up the fire and making the whole beach seem to burn away other than the sand beneath his skin. Genji didn't waste much time moving to yank his own shirt off, tossing it aside and eagerly reaching to pull Gabriel down again, his own mouth now pressed to Gabriel's neck to return Gabriel's marks. He wanted to bite him, wanted to let everyone know that this man was his.

All his.

A soft growl escaped Genji, a streak of dominance as he sunk teeth into skin, just enough to leave a dark bruise and earning a strained, pleased groan from Gabriel as he arched his neck some, clearly enjoying the little burst of control Genji was exerting. 

It was a reminder that Gabriel might be on top but it was because Genji allowed it, because he wanted it. He wanted to mark Gabriel just as much as he wanted the other man to do the same, claiming him, mind body and soul. He loved him.

He was his.

His mate.

Just that thought had the dragon snarling energy rushing along Genji's fingertips as he ran his hands up under Gabriel's sweatshirt and undershirt, tracing over famliar muscles and raking his nails against them. The growling groan that earned had Genji all but purring against the other man's neck, burying himself in that scent that he adored. 

He needed more. 

“Gabriel, plese,” Genji whispered heatedly, moving to cup the other man's face, staring into his eyes, his own burning with desire, “Take me. Right now. Make love to me,”

His words came out as soft desperate gasps, stroking his thumbs along the cheekbones of his lover. His body arched and rubbed slowly against Gabriel's own, molding himself against every muscle and dip of his body, memorizing how it felt against every inch of him. 

Gabriel let out a low growl, sitting up to yank his sweatshirt and undershirt off, letting them join Geni's discarded shirt before he leaned back in, trailing hot kisses slowly against Genji's jaw up to the shell of his ear. He let his tongue rub against the shell of it with a barely audible sigh, “Whatever you wish, mi corazón,” 

He began to move lower now with his mouth, every kiss deliberate as he moved, pausing only at his throat again to lick lovingly over the bruises already forming and to suck again lightly at Genji's pulse point to draw out another low moan of approval. The pace was so much slower than usual but felt so much more emotional, as if Gabriel was as much in the moment as Genji was as he lapped his tongue now down over one of Genji's nipples, causing the young man to arch up, gasping in delight. There was soft chuckle from the commander of Blackwatch but he didn't let up, continuing to tease and nip at the small bud before turning his attention to the other one. 

Genji's hands were leaving their own marks, the nails scratching against tensed muscles, flexing deeper whenever a sensitive spot was lavished with attention by Gabriel's mouth as he seemed to want to make sure every inch of Genji's body was well and truly adored. Genji let out a soft sigh, tugging at Gabriel's shoulders to pull the man back up for a kiss, wanting that mouth against his own.

Every kiss was perfect with an addictive taste with each tangle of tongues, his hands already pushing at his partner's pants down, wanting to feel more of his body against his own. A sentiment that was shared as Gabriel's hands were already tugging down Genji's sweatpants and boxers in smooth tug. Everything felt completely right though. 

The ocean was their tempo as he sat up on his knees, starting to grind up closer to Gabriel, lifting his hips some with soft whines. There was short pause, a murmur against is neck to slow down as his partner fished something outof his pants before fingers, now properly slicked pressed up into Genji earning a pleased moan of desire.

Everything was fading away as he rocked his hips, the intensity growing and the dragon practically burned its way out of his skin, scorching lightly at Gabriel's own skin although it didn't seem like the man felt it. All Genji knew was he need more. He wanted to be as close as he could to the other man, just for this one last night, this one last moment. It wasn't long before the fingers were removed and the famliar touch of his lover's need was pressing up into him.

Then the entire world was nothing but movement. Slow, steady movement that matched each breath taken in and out, like a meditation with the crash of the ocean as the steady mantra. They moved in tandem without pause, neither pushing the pace faster but rather keeping the pace tortuously slow as if wanting to draw the moment out longer. Genji felt like his whole soul was burning, screaming out although the only cry from his mouth were soft gasps and whispers of adoration against the shell of Gabriel's ear, begging for more. 

He was giving himself up. He didn't want to play this game anymore. He wanted to surrender but so did Gabriel. They pushed and pulled before bowing into each other, lips crashing together and the entire world moved faster as instincts flared and need overcame everything. Faster and faster, their gasps mingling and swallowed up in sloppy kisses. There was nothing but the fire of surrender to their most basic needs of physical desire tempered by deeper aches of longing and love that reveled more in how close they were, joined as one body.

Before long, release crashed over them as surely as a wave upon the beach and all control was lost. The dragon lashed out, feeling like it was coiling about his body, latching onto Gabriel as if trying to melt two souls. The flits of energy along his hands seared at skin causing Gabriel to snarl some, clutching Genji close as he came undone.

In that moment everything felt different as if the sky had open up and everything seemed to fade into the stars, every feeling magnified until it felt to Genji not like one heart but two beat in his chest, beating in tandem. Hs breathing steadying to match Gabriel's pants, feeling full and sated all at once as the mess of his own release cooled against their skin. 

Genji closed his eyes inhaling deep, the scent now committed to memory and the dragon within him purring, content, sated as well.

Dragon's fervor was a legend but in that moment, Genji felt like it could be real with how everything felt connected now.

Lazily he turned his head to kiss against Gabriel's neck, pulling back some to stare at him,hands moving to cup his face lightly, “Thank you, for finding me,” He whispered.

He leaned in for another kiss, capturing his lips as they melted into their embrace again and everything felt right again. Everything felt perfectly aligned, melded together as if this was how it was all meant to be, enemies or not.

There was no one else who completed him more, who healed the scars of his soul more, or made him feel more alive than the man holding him closed as if afraid letting go would mean Genji would meld into the sand beneath them.

Tomorrow could wait. The heartache could begin tomorrow but it would not be all consuming this time, not when he was going to be a fool and continue to seek Gabriel out, to call him, to text him, to just know he was alive and well. The distance would be unbearable but at least, in some regards, he would always have him.

It would all come tomorrow though. Let him regret this in a decade of lies, of secrets they would be forced to keep. Let him live the lie and keep the truth as well. 

He was done with the games.

He wanted only the surrender of love within the arms of his chosen mate.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the next chapter of Games of Seduction! Enjoy the feel smashing c:

Home had never felt so empty.

The ancient manor of the Shimada clan home was so quiet and devoid of any warmth. It had only gotten worse when their father had taken ill and his health had continued to decline, causing him to grow weaker and weaker. For a time things, had been tolerable despite the sudden decline in health. For over half a year, Genji had went out occasionally and spent more time in correspondences with Gabriel via text, just talking about mundane things or well, sometimes dipping into a shared call where one hand held the phone and the other hand was kept rather busy. Gabriel had a real gift for making anything and everything sound sexy when he talked dirty, much to Genji's delight. 

That small bit of socialization though was become less and less as new pressures started to be placed upon the younger Shimada by Hanzo as he assumed all their father's responsibilities fully now. He was no longer content to let anything slide and although Genji tried to be understanding of the incredible stress placed upon his brother, he could not shake the feeling that Hanzo was doing everything he could to try to reign him in. The proverbial leash was being tightened about Genji's neck and any little attempt to act out or just to try and have a little bit of the freedom he was use to ended with Hanzo lashing out in anger. His temper was even worse now under the stress and nothing could be done to please him.

Things were getting tense and it hadn’t taken long for Genji to turn his attention back to the bottle and to parties just to try and escape the oppressive,trapped feeling that had invaded the manor. Everything was starting to crack and the fragile sense of tranquility was fading as his father’s health grew worse day by day and his brother became colder, more distant, more prone to anger with every passing hour. 

Hanzo didn’t even feel like a brother to him anymore. 

Genji dragged himself into the locker room attached to the training facilities of the manor, worn out and feeling sore all over. It had been another long hard session with Hanzo, with his brother doing nothing but finding fault with everything he did. It had gotten to the point Genji had just opted to train on his own as far from Hanzo as possible just to get away from the criticism that was reminding him far too much of their mother and her cold ire. The training though had never been like that before. In the past such sessions used to be fun, filled with banter. Now Genji did his best to avoid them.

Sliding out of his sweaty clothes, Genji wrapped a towel about his waist, sighing some. An hour or two in the sauna to just sit there and sweat out the stress of the day would be good. He just needed some outlet that didn't involve drinking himself into oblivion and having a series of one-night stands that left him unsatisfied and guilty. Sex, to say the least, was becoming more of a distraction, a joyless hassle than the once exciting prospect it used to be.

There was only one person he could even think of anymore, one person alone who was the one who awoke the dragon inside and flamed his passions once more. 

Everything felt wrong since he left Gabriel.

The sauna was not large but it was cozy with a nice well tended steamer at the center and wooden benches all around to sit in and enjoy the heat. The scent of sandalwood was heavy in the air already and the smell alone was already helping Genji to relax as he he took his seat. He sat back, lounging with his legs splayed wide under the towel and his head leaned back as he let the steam rise up to slide over his body, trying to relax as he once did. For a moment, he just wanted to push it all out of his head. His yearning for Gabriel, his father's failing health, the coldness of his brother, and just the whole clan in general. He was tired. So very tired of all of it. Everything was piling up higher and higher and it was becoming harder to keep his head above it all and not simply crack under the pressure. It would be easier to just roll over and give up. 

His reprieve in the spa though was interrupted by the door opening and Hanzo came in, no doubt having had the same idea to relax. The elder sibling only glanced at his brother briefly before taking a seat opposite of his brother, leaning back although is posture was far more tense still. Genji lifted his head briefly to eye his brother, frowning slightly. His brother did not look good, but then, he had not been looking good since they got back. His appearance was haggard and his eyes looking more dull and dead than alive. The once shinning locks of his hair were greasy and more unkempt than they use to be and Hanzo started to slip in his usual personal care.

The worse new feature though that caught Genji's attention were the scars from small cuts that were dotting his brother's upper legs and thighs, thin little stripes against his skin not caused by any sort of training. Genji wasn't stupid and no matter how Hanzo thought he could hide it all, how he thought he could hold everything in, his brother had heard what he did in the night behind closed doors. He had heard the sobs he tried to bottle up and knew when Hanzo was swallowing it all down. He had seen his brother trying to hide the bloody tissues in the bathroom or the fact the razor he used for shaving sometimes had a crimson stain on the blade. His brother thought he hid his own mental crisis so well but he was just as blatant as Genji. 

It was almost ironic really that both of them were crashing and burning and could see the other falling but all they could do now was throw more barbs to make the other crash faster to make themselves feel better. Genji closed his eyes and let his head fall back, a sigh escaping him. He could remember a time when the two of them had talked and laughed without a care in the world. There use to be a time when they were brothers and could share everything. Hanzo could complain of his duties and Genji could complain of his recent turbulent affair without any judgement. There had been a time when Hanzo had been the whole of his world, the only person in the family that had looked after and cared about him, acting like both a mother and father figure, giving Genji all the affection he could ever want.

There used to be a time like that, but now it felt like a distant dream and now the man before him was turning into a stranger.

“You have not been yourself, Genji. Ever since we came back,” Hanzo's voice cut through the air, quiet but tense.

Genji lifted his head again, eyeing Hanzo before giving a shrug, “Been hectic of late. Everyone is on edge. No one is acting like they once did,”

“You are going out more often and returning drunk. You use to bring partners back from your night escapades and be up at least by noon. There were times you would stay home,” Hanzo murmured, eyes narrowing, “Now it is like you want to be anywhere but here,”

“The atmosphere has not been most welcoming,” Genji responded casually, his tone bordering on sounding bored, “And I'm just....not as interested in the pleasures of others,”

“You are thinking about him, aren't you?” Hanzo's words were harsh, coming out as more of an accusation than anything, “You are still talking to him,”

Genji pursed his lips some and let his head fall back, closing his eyes, “I don't see how that is a concern of yours, anija. I am not inviting any agents of Overwatch into our home if that is what you mean to accuse by your words,” 

Hanzo frowned, his gaze dropping to the steaming rocks at the center of the room, “Things need to change Genji. The clan is changing. You need to start taking more responsibility,”

“I though I have?” Genji sneered, “Or have I not been licking your boots to that perfect glassy shine enough these days?”

“You need to consider your role as the second son. Father has been offered a few alliances with other clans, ones with powerful means,” he paused, giving Genji a pointed look, “One with unmarried daughters-”

“Not happening,” Genji growled, now sitting up and fixing his body with a look, “I'm not going to be getting a political marriage like you are already roped into,”

Just the idea of having someone married to him, to have someone bound to him brought a measure of rage within Genji. The idea invoked even more anger now for some reason and the dragon was practically swelling up as if it had something it wanted to say. In the past he hadn't really cared about the idea. Now though he had a mate, he had made a claim to a mate, and he was not going to take any sort of substitute just for the sake of the clan.

“It is your duty. You've been groomed for it since your birth,” Hanzo retorted, “You've been groomed to stand at my side and rule the Shimada clan and that includes making sacrifices for the better of the clan as a whole. That is what father always wanted,”

Genji let out a sigh, rolling his eyes as he sat up, “So what? Why should I want what he wants? I want to live my own life and not be stuck in this fucking prison, forced to always do what the clan wants. When have us ever been allowed to do what we want and be a bit selfish?” he scowled, rising to his feet, “Why should I care what the old man desires if he is putting one foot in the grave already and dumping everything on us?”

“Because he is our father and we owe a lot to him Genji,” Hanzo growled, “It is our duty as-”

“Duty. It is always about duty. Can't think of a personal reason father would want that because at heart, he would want us to do what makes us happy. Just stop bitching about duty and leave me alone, would you?” Genji snapped, shooting his brother a look before heading towards the door. 

He ignored the dark glare of his brother and the anger that was simmering there and stalked out of the sauna, heading towards his room. He couldn't deal with this all again. He couldn't even find a moment to relax and be away from everything. The siren song of drink was already being blasted loudly in the air and curling around Genji as he felt the anger well up further. 

He was pent up and had no way to get it out and it was leading to Hanzo and himself bickering more and more often with each other. Every time though, the fights were getting escalated and the violent outbursts more common from Hanzo. The bruises from the last altercation during training were still smarting on his back. There was only one outlet that seemed to be close at hand still and always did the trick.

Collapsing onto his bed, Genji picked up his cellphone, frowning as he texted Gabriel quickly, just needing some outlet tonight, “Hey you. You working right now?”

There was a delay in the response but a response came eventually, “Nothing too important, why?”

Genji let himself smile some, rolling onto his stomach to text back, “I want to talk to you. Just talk I promise,”

The young man nearly dropped his phone when instead of getting a text he got a call. A soft laugh escaped him as he hit the answer button and brought the device to his ear, “Must be a really slow day if you can call right away. Was expecting at least an hour or two,”

“I'm on my break,” Gabriel responded, “And when you want to talk out of the blue, usually means you are having a shit day,”

“I don't think that begins to describe it,” Genji murmured, “It is always a shit day without you here. I really miss you,”

Genji felt his heart swell in his chest as Gabriel chuckled softly, “I miss you too Genji,”

The young man let out a pleased hum, stretching out on his bed in only a towel, not in the mood to even bother to get dressed just yet. Not like he had anything to look forward to tonight other than another party, another bout of drinking, and another round of arguments with his brother. Those seemed to be the only things he had to do in a day and none of it pleased him anymore. Not one of them did a thing to bring up his mood.

“My brother is being a real pain my ass of late. Keeps bringing up that I'm not doing enough when I'm doing everything he asks. Now he wants me to go find some political marriage to shackle myself into,” Genji grumbled, "At this point I 'm waiting for him to assign a babysitter to me with how controlling he's getting,"

That earned a slight growl of distaste from Gabriel, a sound that had a shiver of pleasure going through Genji and making the inner dragon writhe in delight at knowing his mate disapproved such a thing too, “That's bullshit. You are a crime organization, not nobility,”

“Sometimes hard to see the difference in this clan. Told him to go shove it and then he goes on about duty and what father wants,” He let out a soft sigh, “I mean, I don't want to disappoint father, he's done a lot for me but sometimes, it just feels like, I don't know, he wants a me that isn't there,”

“Children always disappoint their parents. Part of growing up is realizing that and learning to live with it. They are going to be disappointed you didn't do what they wanted, but in the end, they'll still be proud,” Gabriel murmured, “And you are fine Genji,”

Genji chuckled softly, “Well I know you think I'm fine. You're my-” he paused considering what to say. 

Technically they weren't really officially anything. Friends with a lot of benefits. Lovers maybe? In his heart though Genji knew what he wanted to call him and say out loud. Gabriel was his mate. He had marked him that night on the beach and at times, felt he could feel everything his mate shared as if it was a part of his soul now as well. He trailed a hand over his chest, idly, letting the fingers trace over the spot where his heart was, letting a pleased smile touch his lips at the thought.

Gabriel was his mate but for now, he didn't have the courage to say it out loud. 

Not yet. 

“I don't know what to call you but you are more important to me than this clan,” Genji finally finished, closing his eyes, “Nothing is exciting anymore without you here and I get so many bad habits without you here to keep me straight,”

“Just take care of yourself Genji,” Gabriel murmured softly, “Don't get in over your head. Last thing I want to hear is you got hurt again or worse,”

Genji felt the wash of concern as if it was his own as he let himself sink into that strange bond that seemed to have form between them, allowing himself to finally relax and feel a moment of peace. If he could lay like this, just listening to Gabriel for the rest of the night, he would but they had different lives.

Reality was never so kind as to let desires take shape, not without complications. 

“I'll be fine. I should let you get back to work now I guess. I can call you again soon though, right?” he asked hopefully as he sat up, “I like hearing your voice,”

“Call me back anytime, just perhaps, maybe after I'm back from work,” Gabriel answered, his tone amused, “Love you,”

“Love you too,” Genji responded, making a kiss noise before hanging up, smiling.

Who knew just a phone call from his mate could make him that happy? Just those few words shared with Gabriel doing his best to calm his worries had been like a personal little boast of good mood. Perhaps it would be enough to carry him through the night and curb his drinking to just the social requirements. Maybe he would even come back home early to get some proper rest. Buddha knows he needed an actually full eight hours of sleep rather than the four and five hours he got here and there. 

Genji rolled off the bed to his feet, finally bothering to get dressed, donning his more garish white outfit with orange clash that did nothing but make him stand out like a sore thumb. It was traditional dress though and the clan couldn't really yell at him for not following protocol there. There was nothing about the colors having to be a certain way after all. He paused to examine himself in the mirror, leaning in and delicately using the tip of his thumb to rub away a small stray smear of eyeliner. He didn't want to look a mess after all. He took pride in his appearance and had found make-up to be a very wonderful tool for enhancing looks. Really it was strange that men were told to avoid it when it could do wonders in making even the most unattractive troll look passable. 

He was ready to go out for a little fun and keep the high going but fate had others plans. Genji had just opened his bedroom door to step up when he nearly ran right into Hanzo. His is elder brother stood in the hallway, hand raised as if about to knock but a seeing Genji he lowered the hand quickly, crossing his arms. The two stood there, eyeing each other for a moment before Genji took a defensive posture, crossing his arms with a frown. 

Hanzo though was the first to speak, his eyes narrowing as he took in Genji's appearance, “Where are you going?”

“I'm going out,” Genji answered simply, “I'm allowed to leave my bedroom,”

“No, I need to speak to you,” Hanzo's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms, “Your behavior earlier-”

“Oh here we go again! What the fuck did I do now to piss you off that you have to come lecture me like you are our mother?” Genji sneered. 

The good mood from earlier was dashed now, buried in the anger already starting to settle in the pit of his stomach. A part of Genji was absolutely livid that his brother had the audacity to come chase him down after their little spat in the sauna like he had to address every little thing immediately. It was controlling but Genji was starting to get the feeling that was the point. 

His brother wanted to reign him in and bring him to heel, either to please the clan or to make father's dream of them standing as equal a reality, Hanzo was on a mission.

It was a mission though that Genji was not going to quietly bend over and accept, not this time. 

“Genji, I want you to stay here. Our father's healthy is poor and -” Hanzo began only to be roughly shoved out of the way, actually looking surprise as Genji lashed back. 

“He's not going anywhere Hanzo. He's in a fucking bed. You think anyone is going to bother trying to take out a sick man?” Genji snarled, “You are the more obvious target, lord Shimada so why don't you stop riding my ass and go sit in a corner and think up new ways to try and keep me around like a servant?”

Hanzo's eyes were narrowing dangerously but Genji didn't care if his brother yelled or hit him. He was done with just taking it all like he was some sort of shame. He had tried handling this peacefully but if his brother wanted a fight, then he was going to give him a fight. 

“I'm trying to run the clan!” Hanzo's voice was tinged with anger as he grabbed Genji by the shoulder, “Yet your only amusement it seems is to just run away from all your problems, just like always! Just run off to go get drunk and fuck a few people, and then come crawling in when you are of no help! You think I don't notice why you keep rebelling like this?”

Genji pulled away from his brother's grip, turning to fix him with a glare of his own, “Yeah well, at least I don't lash out at everyone and scream at people for no reason! You are starting to turn into our mother, just as cold, bitter, and utterly without any sense of care about anyone that isn't her!” 

That was not what he should have said and he could see how hard that barb hit. Hanzo and their mother had always been close whereas Genji had barely been tolerated and outright hated by the woman. He had always been the favorite of their father. Hanzo had always saw their mother as someone with flaws, but someone he loved. Insulting her and accusing him of the same sort of behaviors was starting to cross a line but really Genji felt it justified after all the verbal abuse he had been suffering of late.

He turned back away, putting his hands into his pocket, “I'm going out,”

“Fine! Go out!” Hanzo roared, finally exploding out in hot temper, “Go out and see if I care! See if anyone cares! In fact, why don't you just stay out there and don't bother coming back and save us all the trouble of you being around at all!”

“Maybe I won't come back,” Genji snapped, using anger as a cover for the hurt, “Maybe I'll just run off like you want,”

“Run off where? Back to America to the arms of the enemy? The one you are still talking with?” Hanzo sneered, “Don't think I don't notice the cellphone bills you are accumulating on international calls!”

Genji bristled, gritting his teeth, “That is none of your business what I do in my personal life or should we talk about how you are getting rather friendly with razors in the privacy of your bedroom?”

 

Hanzo recoiled as if hit by Genji's words, going silent. Genji wasn't sure if his brother was speechless or if he was upset that he had noticed the cuts. Whatever the reason, Hanzo did not say another word, and only turned on his heels to stalk off towards their father's bedchamber, no doubt to keep him company as he slept. Genji didn't chase him down though, didn't say a word. He only watched him go with a burning anger and hurt all melding together into a perfect storm of growing strife that was emerging between them. 

They were all stressed and they were all trying to tear each other down. 

All Genji could think about was how he really, really, really wanted a drink right then to wash it all away.

The night embraced him as soon as he stepped out of the manor and into the night life of the city. Genji was soon letting himself fall into the arms of his old lovers and past acquaintances while one hand clutched the bottle. Tonight he wiped away all his obligations and all his typical restraints. He let lose entirely and let himself crash and burn over and over again, guilty lips against gasping bodies as he tried to forget everything to do with the clan and his brother. 

The dragon was screaming, sobbing inside of him with each panted breath as he leaned over the woman he was entangling himself with, feeling no pleasure in the action, no desire, only the feeling of detachment as their bodies worked to completion and the room around him filled with movement of other warm bodies. The drinks kept coming until all that mattered was surviving the night.   
Everyone was laughing like it was all okay and the feeling of drowning all over again sunk over Genji as he pushed his face against a neck that wasn't his mate's biting back the whimpers of distress that wanted to come out beneath those groans of bestial delight. 

He didn't want any of this. 

He just wanted his mate and the world where it would be possible for them to always be one. He wanted his brother back. He wanted everything to work out. Nothing changed though but the partner in bed and the name of the brand on the bottle in hand and for a moment, the problems of the day were washed away, carried off by the mocking laughter of everyone around him.

By the early morning hours, Genji found himself alone in the cool of the night, staggering out of the bar with his hoodie tugged up to hide the fresh marks on his neck and the sunken in look of his eyes from far too much and too little of everything. He felt sick as he moved along, his stomach rolling around and his head feeling like he was stuck on an ever tilting ship. There were no cars out this late, the streets completely empty. Four o'clock was always that strange hour of the morning where the entire world seemed to have faded away and created some new, unnerving world impossibly more lonely than the last. It was a place where all the ghosts of legends seemed to lurk and every little shadow seemed to stretch and bounce unnatural against the stone of the sidewalk. It was so easy to notice everything that had once been buried under the bustle of the city and the noises of life.

All there was was the wind ruffling against his clothes with a cold autumn chill and the dim glow of streetlights as he made his way up to the manor that was his home. He tugged his hoodie up more, squinting blearily in the low light, feeling the burning at the corner of his eyes from his lack of sleep that was starting to again catch up with him.

He wanted his bed and a long sleep. 

That was all that was on his mind as he shuffled out of his shoes and into his slippers, one hand on the wall to steady himself before he started to move into the entryway hallway, running a hand through his mused up hair. He was vaguely aware that the lights of the manor were on and for it being so early in the morning, there was a great deal of activity going on but in his stupor, he easily brushed it aside, the only focus being for now to get to his room and to get some sleep. As he entered the hallway, he lifted his tired gaze and his entire body froze. 

His brother stood in the hallways, his arms crossed tight over his chest and his eyes held a look of complete pain, rage, and fury all mixed into one. The look was terrifying and more wrathful than any look Hanzo had ever given before and it was all focused entirely on Genji as if Hanzo had been waiting for a while just to shoot that look into the intended target. Something in Genji's stomach dropped while an icy chill grasped at his heart, breaking through the drunken haze of his mind some as he reared up to regard Hanzo with a wide-eye look. 

“Anija? What are you-” He had barely been able to slur the words out before Hanzo was shoving him up against the wall hard enough for the back of his head to slam back causing the younger man to wince and his expression to only grow more alarmed with a real hint of fear, "Anji!? What the-" 

“You couldn't keep sober for one night, could you? Couldn't check your phone just once tonight?” Hanzo snarled, leaning in, “You couldn't be here, could you?”

“What are you talking about?” Genji grumbled, putting his hands on his brother's wrists, “Why would I-”

“Father is dead Genji!” The words poured from Hanzo's lips, anger and sadness woven tight into a choked sob that seemed to stick in his throat. The emotions he tried so hard to contain were pouring out before Genji, completely raw and exposed with no restraints left to keep them hidden. Those words cut through the haze of Genji's mind as the younger man felt the entirety of the world drop out from under him. His father was dead. His father was dead. His father was-

“What? No, no he can't be dead,” Genji murmured, “He can't be-”

“He's dead!” Hanzo slammed Genji back against the wall causing his brother to wince again and feel the throb of a bruise now starting form on his back, “He was on his deathbed and I was called and I sat there, holding his hand, telling him you were coming. I had to fucking lie to him Genji! I had to lie that you were going to see him, just one last time but no, no you wouldn't answer your phone, you wouldn't respond! He passed away while waiting for a fucking drunk of a son that didn't care enough to see him!” 

Guilt flooded Genji and he felt his heart twist in his chest as he stared at Hanzo, tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes, “I...I'm sorry. I didn't check my phone tonight I was-”

“I know what you were doing. What you are always doing. It seems your flings, your parties, your need to get away was more important than our dying father's last wish to see his favorite son at his side,” Hanzo snarled, his grip tensing on Genji's clothes, “And why should you even be the favorite when you couldn't even make the time to say goodbye,”

“I would have! If I had known- I would have Hanzo!” Genji shouted back, his voice cracking as grief and guilt pushed all other feelings aside, “How was I suppose to know?”

“I called you! I texted you! I did everything I could to tell you!” Hanzo had pushed Genji up higher against the wall, his hands trembling as his wild eyed look of rage fixed on his brother, twisted by his own despair, “He wanted to see you but you didn't come!”

“I would have....” Genji croaked, barely able to get the words out, “I loved him too, Hanzo. I loved him just as much as you,”

The hoodie was tight about his neck as he up on his tiptoes now due to how high he was shoved up against the wall. It was a little hard to breath and with the full force of what Hanzo was accusing him of crushing down, his drunken mind was laboring just to suck in some air. Tears were already starting to trickle down Genji's face as he stared at his brother, silently asking for forgiveness for his negligence. The look though seemed to inspired only more rancor within the elder brother. Hanzo's grip tensed before with a sudden show of strength he turned, practically throwing Genji across the room. The younger man, drunk as he was, crashed to the ground, unable to gain his balance, wincing as he felt his arm slam against one of the decorative tables placed in the hall. Slowly he sat up, tears starting to spill down his face as he gazed up at Hanzo.

His brother stood there, hands clenched as he looked down at Genji, livid with rage, his own tears spilling down without any sort of mask to hide them. Everything was there as the strife between them grew more turbulent, howling through both their souls and driving them further apart. 

“I hate you,” Hanzo spat out the words with enough venom to make Genji flinch. The elder brother looked away, “I wish you were never born,”

It wasn't the first time Hanzo had ever said that and honestly, Genji had said it a few times in his life as well towards Hanzo but never had either one of them believed it. There had never been that conviction in the words, nothing that would give it any weight. It had just been the typical spouts of insults that siblings through to try and express themselves when upset about trivial little things.

This time though Genji felt every sting of those words and did not hear a lie, but a harsh reality. This time there was a sense of conviction that made the younger man feel like his heart was about to hammer out of his chest and burst against the floor from the pain alone. It was a final blow to shatter the world around Genji as the stress, all the burden of the day and the weight of his father's death all finally consuming every thought. His mind snapped at Hanzo's declaration of hatred. 

“Hanzo,” The name stammered out, “Hanzo, I'm-”

“I hate you,” Hanzo repeated his tone cold although his body was trembling as he looked away, “I hate you. I hate you!” 

The last one was said with a shriek of howling fury and he came at Genji then, the young man barely getting to his feet, the world spinning and everything crushing down on him. He didn't know what to do but he felt Hanzo hit him hard against the shoulder as he continued to lose his temper and unleash that terrible rage that only served to put Genji more in a panic as he ducked away, raising his hands against the sudden assault. He was uncoordinated, the world spinning and a feeling of being sick was rising in Genji's throat along with his half slurred cries of protest against his brother's hits that came fast and without mercy, just taking out all that he felt on his brother who he was seeing as the source of everything wrong. Genji was nothing more than a scapegoat in that moment as Hanzo reacted to the sudden loss of their father.

“Get out! I don't want to see you! You bastard! You-you I hate you!” Hanzo's words were as disjointed and slurred as if he was drunk himself, the rage was so great. Hanzo was out of his mind and with the alcohol coursing through Genji's veins, that rage felt greater to him than any bout in the past. Stumbling, Genji manage to duck under a few of his brother's strikes and took off down the hall as fast as he could, panic giving him a slight edge of clarity to make his escape to his room. Hanzo did not give pursuit, only standing there shouting every rancorous, hateful slur of words he could come up with, just trying to hurt his younger brother anyway he could. 

Genji felt like a child again as he ran in a blind terror away from some sort of demon that seemed to have taken over his brother, the sobs pulled out of his throat as he finally got to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him before staggering to the bathroom and doing the same to that door. He leaned against the back of the bathroom door for a moment, staring wide-eyed down at the floor before he slid to the ground and completely shattered with a shriek. 

He cried, burying his face into his hands tight, digging the fingers against his scalp as if he were trying to rip his skull apart. His father was dead and he hadn't been there to see him in his final moments. His brother hated him. The entire clan had always despised him. His mother had never cared for him. Everything came crashing at once, swallowing him up whole, dragging him down into a spiral.

Genji wanted to die. He wanted to die and never have to face any of this again. No one would miss him. No one cared about him. Not even his mate-

That single thought had Genji scrambling for his phone, fingers trembling as he quickly pulled up the familiar number, calling it as he sat there, sobbing, trembling, just wanting someone, anyone to tell him it was okay, that it wasn't his fault. 

That he wasn't only just someone who deserved to be hated by everyone. 

“Hello?” Gabriel's voice was a bit annoyed, “This is sort of a bad time to-”

“Gabriel,” Genji managed out, his voice getting more hysterical, “Gabriel I'm sorry I.... I just...” 

It was so hard to even speak English. His voice broke and he devolved into a babble of Japanese as he slumped against the wall, curling up into a tighter ball feeling sick to his stomach, his head pounding, and unable to think of one reason why he should even bother to get up again. His free hand was fisted tight in his hair, nails painfully digging against skin to try and cope with the pain he felt in his chest.

Why he shouldn't just bash his head against the wall until he was a brainless, dead heap of useless flesh though? Maybe he should just tell Gabriel he was going to kill himself and free him from dealing with such a horrid piece of work like himself?

“Genji? Genji what's wrong?” Gabriel's irritation was completely gone, replaced by nothing but concern, “Talk to me Genji,”

“Everything is wrong!” Genji shouted, “Everything is wrong and...and I want to fucking die! I can't do anything right! He's dead and I didn't....I didn't! Because!” He couldn't even say it, couldn't even get it out, he just started to cry again, hand shaking, Japanese words mixing into his English. 

“Genji, shhhh, you don't do everything wrong. Don't talk like that okay? Don't scare me like this when I can't get over there to help you,” He was trying to keep calm but the worry was clear, the tiny sliver of panic betrayed in Gabriel's voice as he spoke, “Genji, talk to me,”

“Gabriel,” It was the only thing he could get out huddled and alone with only that voice there, that single voice being the only thing keeping him from doing anything. 

That single life-line he had. 

“He hates me now. He hates me,” Genji babbled, “I didn't come. They all hate me and....and I deserve it. I deserve it because I'm... I'm a-”

“You're are a beautiful young man with a lot to keep going for, that they keep beating you down when you don't deserve it. That you are better than how they treat you,” Gabriel interrupted, “Genji, mi cielo, I don't hate you. I've got you okay?”

Genji sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady his sobs as he lay there trembling, “Okay...okay....” He lowered his head, eyes shutting tight, “I'm sorry Gabriel. I'm such a piece of shit, I'm such a-”

“You are fine. Everything else can wait,” Gabriel murmured, “You are safe right, you haven't done-”

“No,” Genji whispered softly, trembling, “I'm safe,”

“You haven't made any plans?” Gabriel asked, his tone still calm although Genji could feel the worry swimming over him from the other end.

“No,” Genji answered, closing his eyes, “Gabriel, don't hang up?”

“I won't,” he promised softly, “I won't until you are asleep okay? I think you need some rest, some time to let everything that happened sink in,”

Genji nodded, slowly rising back to his feet, his legs wobbling but he managed to get the bathroom door opened again, unsteadily moving to his bed, “I'm sorry. I got drunk tonight,” he whispered, his voice cracking with guilt again. 

“Its fine. I still love you,” Gabriel's answer was a sliver of comfort to Genji as he dropped onto his bed, moving to curl up against the headboard, keeping the phone pressed to his ear.

“Gabriel?” He asked quietly, a tremor of fear in his voice as he closed his eyes, as if expecting him not to answer. 

“Yeah?” Gabriel asked, his voice soft and the concern seemed to bleed through the phone and wrap about Genji, sliding into his very being with a comfort he needed so desperately right then.

Genji licked his lips some, tasting the salt of his tears mixed with the remnants of the night and felt his stomach clench as he curled up tighter, “If I died, would you miss me?'

“Of course I would, mi cielo,” Gabriel responded, “Why wouldn't I miss you?”

“Because I'm awful. Because I get drunk and sleep around and- and-” he was choking up again even as Gabriel softly shushed him over the phone. 

“Genji? You do that because you are hurting. I wish I could be there,” he fell silent for a moment, “If I was there you know what I would do? I would pull you close, keep you safe and kiss you right now,”

Genji closed his eyes taking a shaky breath and in that moment he could almost feel the warmth of arms, the press of lips against his clammy, heated skin as he lay there a shuddering mess of a man, unable to cope, unable to handle the world that was spiraling faster and faster out of control. 

In Gabriel's arms though, he could imagine that things were safe, like the man was some sort of anchor keeping him in place. The young man raised a hand to wipe at his eyes, red and puffy from both his tears and alcohol. His head was pounding and he felt exhausted, “Gabriel? If....if I were to leave the clan, to just run away, would that make me a coward?”

“No, it wouldn't. I think you would be very strong to do so,” Gabriel answered, “You don't sound happy there,”

“Could I run away with you?” Genji asked quietly. 

In all the fairytales that is how it would go, that this was the reality. That he could just get up and go, just run off from the clan and across the sea and into the arms of his mate and the two of them could leave it all behind, all the stresses and pain. That is how the stories went. He just wanted to believe for a moment that it was all possible. 

“Yes. I think you can,” Gabriel said gently, his voice a soothing rolling bass, a lullaby all on its own, “We will go somewhere nice, just the two of us, how does that sound?”

“Sounds really good,” Genji answered, his voice hoarse but calmer now as he let himself dream of their escape as if it were a possible hope, “Somewhere with a beach. Just lay out in the sun, have a few mixed drinks, watch the sunrise and the sunset, and just enjoy paradise,”

Gabriel chuckled some, “If we didn't get into trouble with my temper and your perchance for mischief,”

Genji smiled some, closing his eyes, “Mmmm. I got to keep your life interesting, yeah?”

The smile though faded some as he bit his lip, his mind on the edge of sleep and the buzz of the alcohol still humming in his veins as a burning question began to form on his lips, “Gabriel? You are my mate right?” he asked, his voice a sleepy whisper.

“Yeah. I'm your mate,” Gabriel murmured soothingly.

He probably didn't know what Genji was talking about but frankly the young man couldn't care then. He smiled and the dragon inside that had been raging, consumed by turmoil was put to rest, curling about his heart and soul with a warm sort of flush and growl. 

His mate. His strong, beautiful mate who always knew what to say to calm his worries and take all th stress away.

Genji sighed softly, “Thank you Gabriel, for finding me,” 

“I'll always find you Genji, no matter how far you fall,” Gabriel responded quietly his voice low.

The younger man smiled his grip on the phone loosening as he laid his head against his arm, just for a moment he told himself. Then he would keep talking to Gabriel. His eyelids were heavy and the weight on his mind was heavier. 

He was fast asleep before he knew it and the phone fell from his grip, resting against his head. The only sound then was his gentle breathing, sometimes hitching into a drunken snore, and the shift of his body on the bed. Gabriel didn't hang up until he was sure Genji was asleep. 

“Buenas noches, mi cielo,” He said softly before the click of the phone was heard.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for chapter delays! Been busy and been trying to put dents in prompts on tumblr @___@ been having trouble getting drive to get chapters done ; w ;
> 
> I hope to change that around soon! > 3 >
> 
> As for this chapter.... I really want to take the whole confrontation between Genji and Hanzo through a different angle. I don't want this to be Hanzo bad, stab brother for clan. So mean! sort of thing. That's been done. 
> 
> Let's make it a little bit more in depth and more true to character....

The night their father died, everything changed. The whole series of events that had taken place that night had been a breaking point and now the pieces of Genji and Hanzo's brotherhood lay on the floor and neither was bending down now to put it together. They stood at odds, silently staring each other down and had barely spoken a word to each other. Hanzo had become more sullen, his temper more a rumble of a storm whereas Genji grew more terse, more prone to lash out, his rebellion not simply indulgences now, but pushing at the clan laws and traditions.

The night their father had died had been the final snapping thread. 

It had been one week since that night and only two days since their noble father had been laid to rest, cremated and his tomb placed beside that of their mother. Everything had went so smoothly but neither had shared a word or spoke of that night. What words they had shared were empty pleasantries with an edge of barely contained hate lingering in every syllable.

Hate and pain as both felt the loss of their relationship as brother keenly and each questioning silently what had happened to bring them to this final conclusion. 

Genji had not gone out to drink or party since the night their father passed away, keeping to himself and to his room, avoiding all his duties. It felt like the death of his father had been a catalyst within the clan for something to come, something that was putting Genji on edge. 

He knew something was very wrong when his phone informed him his cellar plan no longer allowed for international calls or texting. It was a sudden infringement upon his freedoms, something his father would have never done. Now though, it was the reign of his brother he lived on and Hanzo was making it clear that he was not about to turn a blind eye to Genji's behavior. 

Thus the younger son of the Shimada clan found himself stalking down the hallways, his robes billowing as he burst into his brother's office, not showing any of the usual respect as he slammed his hands on his older brother's desk, “So, tell me, anija, what gives you the right to start messing around with my cellular plans?” he asked innocently, his voice sounding kind but lined with a sneer just below the surface. 

Hanzo looked up, eyes narrowing, “You don't need to be making international calls or the like. It is a waste of money. There are going to be some changes around the clan now Genji. I suggest you start to get use to it,”

“Do I get a leash soon?” he asked innocently, tilting his head.

“You will be monitored yes. I expect you to have attendants at all time. No leaving you alone to your own devices. Your reputation has already tainted the clan name and your prospects for marriage-” Hanzo began idly. 

Genji made a scoffing noise to interrupt his brother, a snarl on his lips, “I don't need to be married,”

“It was our father's last wish for you, to see you settled down with the right woman,” Hanzo growled, “And although you never cared to be anything our father wished, I would like to put his soul at ease with making sure that at least this is taken care of,”

Genji's scowl grew and Hanzo arched an eyebrow at the almost aggressive stance of his brother, the way his hackles rose as if in defense. The anger was very clear in the young man's eyes as he looked away, “I already am settled down. I’m not getting married,”

Hanzo was glaring now, already rising to his feet as he grip the edge of his desk to match Genji glare for glare, “The elders will hear about-“

“Good. In fact, how about I just save you the rant and tell them myself this afternoon at the gathering? While I'm at it, how about I also just speak for myself and my own behavior?”

“Ha! I would like to see that,” Hanzo sneered, “Go right ahead. Make a fool out of yourself properly. I will not come to rescue you from your own foolishness though, Genji. Not anymore. It is time you realize the consequences that come with your actions,”

“I don’t need you to do anything for me anymore. I am well aware of how much you hate me, anija,” Genji snapped, “I think you made your point clear that we are brothers in name alone,”

Hanzo was silent, a slight touch of guilt passing quickly over his face before he looked away, “I had every right to be upset with you Genji but you are still my brother, the only family I have left. That has to mean something to you,”

“Why should it when it has meant nothing to you?” Genji retorted, his tone cold.

The two brothers were staring each other down, hurting but neither one wanting to bend now, neither one wanting to admit they were wrong. Pride though was not the only thing at stake. A dream was there, a defense of what each believed in and with their father gone, there was no central figure holding them together. 

The lines of battle were being drawn and both of them could see it. Hanzo was taking control of the clan and Genji was becoming a problem, a threat to his rule. For Genji though, he was standing on the brink of his own freedom and an uncertain future or to accept his birthright and fall into line and kill a part of himself in the process. 

“Genji, this is not going to end well if you continue with this rash behavior, this misplaced rebellion,” Hanzo said quietly, his voice sounding tired. 

“Was it ever going to end well between us, anija?” Genji asked, looking away. The sorrow though was in his voice. 

He pulled away and turned away from Hanzo, “I will speak for myself. You no longer speak for me. As the second son of the Shimada, the heir should you fall, I claim that right,”

Hanzo closed his eyes sucking in a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly, “I’ll allow it and for what it is worth, I hope you do not bring more strife between us,”

“If there is any strife, it is in that you will not let me be free. A sparrow doesn’t sing in cages,” Genji straightened his shoulders and left the office, hands clenched at his sides.

What he was doing was a big move on his part. Politically, it was an assertion of his power and rank within the clan, taking his stand to not be merely in Hanzo’s shadow, but to be at his side. To stand up against the elders on top of that to defend his choices was spitting in the face of tradition. He had to make a change though or he would be where he was before, beaten down, drunk, and sobbing in the corner with only a single voice on the phone to provide any comfort. 

He had to make a change. He had to stand on his own and stop running away from the problems now starting to face him. Without their father, he knew he was now in a vulnerable position within the clan, he wasn't a fool after all. 

Genji took the time to dress properly for once, going for the longer, more traditional robes and wearing his hairstyle in a conservative fashion. He did not remove the hair dye though. If we as to speak on his own behalf, he would make sure they knew he did this on his own terms. It was a look that balanced the old and the new, what he knew was expected and what was frowned upon. A look that he had fashioned himself and looking in the mirror, he felt, for the first time, like a proper leader in his own right, not just the child and not just the chess piece to move about the board.

He looked a lot more like his father than Hanzo and in that fact, Genji took a special sort of pride in that fact. If he grew a beard, the similarity to his father would be far more uncanny. A slight smile quirked the corner of his mouth as he narrowed his eyes. 

He had to make a change if his life and for too long he had been wasting his time trying to be someone he was not. A ninja crept around in the shadows and around all the rules but that did not mean as a member of the clan he had to skulk like that and keep his lover some sort of hidden shame. Genji gave one last look of himself in the mirror before stalking off towards the meeting hall, head held hide and looking every inch the second son and now heir of the Shimada clan.

The elders of the clan were a counsel formed of the branches of the Shimada clan. Whereas Genji and Hanzo were part of the main branch, at times there had been other children, sons and daughters who had wedded to other nobles creating a network of smaller clans. If Genji had bothered to follow traditions, he would have been marrying and establish a new branch of the clan of his own bloodline and would be part of the counsel of elders upon reaching the proper age. Although not rulers in of themselves, their duty was to advice and guide the clan head in choices of politics and at times, could unanimously agree on an issue to force the hand of the head of the clan to some extent.

Genji had never liked the elders, never felt them necessary in the changing age. They clung too much to traditions and to the past and as he stood before them, staring each of those beady eyed, haggard counsel members down, he made it clear how he thought of them in a look. 

As per tradition, Hanzo was there, standing aside, arms crossed and eyes boring into his younger brother as Genji took center stage, hands clasped behind his back. Already there were murmurs among the elders at this strange turn of events. Eventually the head of the counsel, the oldest member, leaned in, his wizened gnarled hand grasping his cane. 

“Genji Shimada, second son and now heir to the clan, this is a strange occurrence to have you speak to us. Our honorable Lord Shimada claims that today you speak on your own behalf concerning your role within the clan and your recent defiance of mandates and traditions of the clan,” He wheezed, his voice reedy with age and lacking any of the power it might have had in his younger days. 

Genji simply nodded, bowing his head, showing some measure of respect for now, “That is correct. I am getting rather irritated that my life is being dictated by people who do not know me and think they have the right to tell me to whom I will bond myself to and to what duties I should follow,”

Again there was a rumble in the counsel room and Hanzo tensed, scowling somewhat but holding his tongue for now. Genji cast a look about the room, letting the small rise of conversation die down before he spoke again, “I do not see why we cannot have a civil discourse about this. The point of the matter is I refuse to wed. I may be the second son, but by our father’s wishes, I am to not dwell in my brother’s shadow, but at his side,”

“That is a right and privilege, Lord Genji, not a birthright,” The head elder corrected curtly, “Your behaviors in the past-“

“Were typical of any young man, of low status or high, being allowed to live his life how he saw fit,” Genji interrupted, raising his voice, “Should the actions of my youth, of being a teenager really be the basis for my dismissal? I am sure if I looked, your own youths would not be paragons of clan traditions,”

His words were a challenge and many of the elders were scowling, one or tow making scoffing sounds but Genji noted not one protested. He straightened his shoulders a bit more, eyes narrowing as he let his gaze trail over every single one of them, putting all the poise to work that he had accumulated from his lifestyle choices. He was a playboy and that did mean he had the ability to talk, to weave conversation in his favor, and there was no fear in his countenance as he spoke before the counsel.

If it was to be a battle of words Genji would play the battlefield as he had every game. 

“I will not marry. I will not be a piece to move at your leisure,” Genji said slowly, making sure to emphasis each word, “I speak on my own behalf as no one in this room will do so,”

“The clan is more important than an individual, Genji,” The elder snapped, “You will be expected to marry and take a bond mate for the dragon-“

“Then you are already far too late, honorable elder,” Genji drawled, eyes narrowing, sneering lightly, “For I have already taken a bond mate for myself, on my own terms,”

The response was immediate and Genji felt almost proud at the looks of horror on some of those shriveled faces at his declaration. The room was filled with discussion and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hanzo tense up, a look of disbelief on his face that held a tinge of dread. Genji didn’t bother to look at his brother as he crossed his arms, not hiding the smirk on his face as he stared the head elder down, daring him to say something.

The old man scowled, hunching forward as he regarded the brash younger son of the clan, “You have gone against tradition. This woman you have taken as your mate-“

“I did not take a woman,” Genji responded, his look only growing more smug, “I have taken a man as my mate,”

Perhaps Hanzo was understanding of Genji’s sexual preferences, but to the elders, to generations raised in the more conservative years where it was always a man and woman, such a declaration was nothing short of scandalous. The looks of disgust shot at the young man and the whispers between them made it all the more obvious that this displeased them far more than just the fact he had taken a bond mate without permission.

“You have brought great shame to the clan, Genji,” The head elder growled, tapping his cane hard on the floor, “To go against the elders in picking your mate is one thing but to take a man as a lover, Lord Genji, you have soiled yourself as a prospect at all to any marriage!”

Genji raised his chin defiantly, his look one of complete indifference to the elder’s words, “Then the matter is settled. I do not marry and I am to be left alone. If that cannot be honored, if you cannot allow me to have a measure of freedom as I had under my father’s reign, then know this. I will not stand within the clan,” his eyes narrowed further, “I will not remain under your rule. The clan leadership is the birthright of my family, not yours, not branch families,”

Hanzo was staring at Genji in disbelief and a flush of red was rising to his cheeks, a sure sign of the anger boiling within him. The elders were having hushed conversations between each other, their glares fixed on Genji with a look of disdain and malice. Yet despite all of that, Genji had never felt more free, more proud of himself than in that moment where he declared his ultimatum and made clear his desire, at last, to leave the clan behind. Let them know he would no be beaten down.

He would speak for himself and for once, take control of his own path. He would forge his own personal honor with or without the clan but that rested entirely on them. 

“Your words are practically treason, Lord Genji, if your father could hear you now-” The head elder began, raising his voice as if to chide a misbehaving child only for Genji to scoff loudly at his words, cutting him off.

“If it was my father speaking here, none of you would be able to say a word as he would agree with me. My father was a man who held a vision of a new future for the clan, a new start that didn't have us creeping in the shadows!” Genji straightened himself ot his full height, all pretenses of respect dropped and the elders seemed to almost shrink as the sleeping dragon awoke in the younger man's eyes, burning with a defiance that could not be cowed by their simple words, “So huddle in your shadows, cling to your dying traditions but if you will try and tether me to your ways, know that you will regret it. This I promise you,”

With those words hanging in the air, Genji turned on his heels, having nothing more to say on this matter. He had done as he said and had spoken his mind and he was sure later Hanzo would give him an earful. Oddly enough, Genji was almost looking forward to that. He left the chambers without being dismissed, once more spitting in the face of all those present as he took his rebellion further. He didn't even glance to his brother who was no doubt a picture of perfect rage. Genji kept his eyes forward and walked out as if they were all subjects and he was the head of the clan. The heavy doors of the chamber closed behind him, blocking out the angry murmurs and raised sounds of protests, the silence of the hallway embracing him.

A sense of peace had settled over Genji as he moved down the hallway, his pace leisurely, hands clasped behind his back. His eyes trailed over the various pieces of art that decorated the more ancient part of the home, most of it artifacts of the Shimada clan's long history dating far back into the annuals of history and filled with legends and lore. There were pictures of dragons and their masters all the way back to the first of the lineage to do so, the maiden who to avoid persecution of her village fled into the mountains and bade the dragon to save her. So taken with her beauty was the great beast, it had taken her in, binding itself to her.

Their child was the first born Shimada son. Genji paused in front of one of the murals depicting the dragon cradling around its lover, the tiny child in arms, the first of the Shimada clan lineage. It was one of the older tapestries of the clan and it showed everything from the birth to the death of the dragon at the hand of the villages and the spirit of the noble beast infusing within his son to grant him the power to protect his mother and family. After that, the power to protect his village from raiders. 

 

At one point that had been the role of the Shimada clan: To be protectors. Be it their village or later on the very emperor himself, they were meant to be those that took up arms to defend the innocent. Scandals and a declining history as the progression of Japan pushed forward had made such ancient titles and legends unnecessary and in time, the Shimada clan had become what they were today out of necessity, abandoning the true tradition they claimed to hold so dear.

Genji raised a hand to trace over the large head of the painted dragon lightly, a small smile touching his lips. If he left the clan and ran to join Overwatch, he may be betraying the clan true, but in another sense, he would be the first Shimada in centuries to take up the ancient duty of a protector once more. 

The irony of the situation brought forth a bitter tinge to his smile as Genji lowered his hand. He stood for more of the tradition of the clans than the elders who put so much importance in duty and honor. The younger son turned away from the work of art and continued on his way, not in a hurry to go to his room and for once, actually interested in taking in his surroundings. There were so many things he had rushed past in his life, always in a hurry to do what he wanted and to please his mother or father or brother. There were always things to do.

Now there was nothing to do but wait and either have the clan grant him what freedom he wanted or to be condemned. If the latter were to happen, Genji knew it would result in the ordering of his execution. Idly he wondered if his brother would allow such an order to stand. A part of him wanted to believe that Hanzo would stand up to them and speak out against any sort of order but Genji wasn't a fool.

He knew that if it came, if that order was to be passed down, then Hanzo would see it done. Duty to the clan before family and he had pushed his brother's sense of mercy already pass the breaking point. There was no force, no person that would protect him now and Genji was well aware of that. 

He came to a halt at the window, staring out over the city as one hand dropped to the short sword at his side and closed his eyes. 

There was no one left who would defend him now.

For once he would have to stand on his own.

His brother would not dishonor himself by sending any assassins. The confrontation would come, brother to brother, and in his heart Genji knew that one of them would have to die. The question now was who was it that would be the weaker one and fall. 

“Genji,” 

Hanzo's voice was calm and yet seemed to echo in the silence like the rumble of thunder. The younger did not turn around to greet his brother, his gaze fixed ahead, “I suppose you are here to lecture me then, anija?”

“There is nothing to say about your behavior. You know very well what you have done, what you have forced,” Hanzo responded, his voice growing more hollow, a bitterness working its way in, “I do not think without a proper apology and show of loyalty that you would be forgiven for your brash words today,”

Genji chuckled softly, “I do not need to ask their forgiveness. They should ask mine. I am the second son of the Shimada clan, the heir if you were to fall. I was always meant to stand as your equal and at the end of the day, it is the head of the clan that holds the power,”

He looked over his shoulder now, meeting his brother's gaze. He saw the anger though and he saw the pain. How tense his brother stood then and there told Genji everything about what the elders had decreed was best for the clan.

Hanzo looked away, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “Nothing more needs to be said Genji. It is all laid out now,” he stepped up beside his brother, his gaze going to look out over the city as well, “Only a few months ago, we were still brothers,”

“We are still brothers,” Genji corrected, leaning against the window sill, “That is a fact that will never change,”

“Is it? Is it really?” Hanzo murmured. 

He dropped his gaze from the city to his hands, “We have not spent much time together, just the two of us. Perhaps this weekend we should go up to the mountain temple and have a luncheon there. Stay until the evening and give a final blessing to those of our family that have passed on,”

A small smile graced Genji's lips. He knew what Hanzo was telling him, what message was hidden in those words. He nodded lightly, “It sounds good. Perhaps after that, everything can finally be settled between us,”

“Perhaps,” Hanzo took another deep breath, his hands shaking slightly, “I still implore you to reconsider Genji. It is just an apology,”

“And I will ask you to reconsider as well,” Genji responded, turning to step away from the window, “You do not have to become their assassin,”

Hanzo did not speak again, his eyes fixed on his clenched hands and Genji didn't turn back, didn't offer him words of comfort. They were brothers in blood and in soul as well. It hurt to know what was coming. His heart felt so heavy, so very weak with the pressure of what was to come. 

He could run. A part of him was considering it but that would not solve anything and how far would he get before he would be forced to confront Hanzo anyways? Not to mention a part of him hoped that his brother would overcome whatever madness had taken him this week and not go through. Genji wanted to have hope in his brother.

They were brothers. They stood and met eye to eye, they fought and argued, but at the end of the day there was no denying that they still loved each other. In one week though, it would be brought to light if love was enough to overcome duty, to overcome the stresses put upon them that had pushed them to this final threshold, this final confrontation. Still in his heart, Genji knew already that love was never enough, not a strong enough emotion, to overcome all the terrible trials of the world. 

Genji entered his room, closing the door behind him carefully. There was a sense of clarity to his thoughts now and there was no desire to run out and party. If anything, he knew he had to prepare for what was to come. For tonight though, he simply wanted to rest. 

He took the time to take a long hot shower and carefully get the dye out of his hair, watching the green swirl away down the drain. Maybe he would dye it back after this week was over. Perhaps not. For this final week though something didn't feel right about the color. Something felt like it had changed but Genji couldn't put his finger on it. 

He tied the white meditation robes about himself and moved back into the room. For a moment he thought about finding a way to get in contact with Gabriel, his soul aching to hear the voice of his mate again, to tell him all that had happened but he refrained. If he told Gabriel about all this, no doubt the man would want him to run or would come to Japan himself to interfere with what was to happen at the end of the week and that was something Genji did not want to happen. This was his fight, his choice. He did not want to drag his lover into this. A sigh escaped Genji as he let his gaze move over the room. Perhaps the day of the match he would get in touch with Gabriel, just to set up how he would depart Japan after the last confrontation with Hanzo.

Genji had no plans on losing to his brother. 

Even if it meant he would have to take the life of the last person in the clan who meant anything to him.

A shiver of dread swept through Genji bringing with it the feeling disgust at himself for being able to even consider or contemplate the act of killing his brother despite knowing at this point there was no choice. There was no mortal power now that could stop the this madness. 

Genji moved across his bedroom to the small altar at the corner, long forgotten and covered with old laundry and surrounded by knick knacks he had won at the arcades. He had never had a reason to nor desire to really pray to any higher power. His father always had though.

The elder Shimada had always taken Genji to the temples when he was young and had him pray even when the young boy had complained. His father had only laughed whenever asked why he bothered with all the rituals. 

“There is a comfort in it Genji. A comfort that someone, somewhere is listening and cares about your worries, who may sympathize even if they cannot do something to help,” his father said gently, “When you think you are alone, there is someone to turn to,”

It had always seem ridiculous to Genji up until this moment. He stood alone in his manor, surrounded by enemies now and his brother possibly to be his executioner by the weekend. Genji reached out to move the items away from the altar, clearing it out again and moved to kneel in front of it. Carefully he opened a packet of incense he had never used, placing them in the correct slots before lighting them. 

He bowed his head and brought his hands together.

He prayed. 

He prayed that his brother would come to his senses and not go through with the will of the clan. He prayed that by the end of the week, their brotherhood, their years of history would mean more than a clan that wanted to force them to such extremes. 

Yet even in his hopes, even in his blind belief that it could work out well, Genji still quietly asked for the blessings of any deity listening that if it came blow for blow, to allow his blade to be faster and his hands steady enough to make a clean kill if it had to come to that.

Genji closed his eyes, hands clenched now on his knees, shaking as that idea entered him. If he had to kill Hanzo, could he do it? 

He opened his eyes, staring at the idol wreathed now in the scent smoke of the burning incense. There was no choice if their fight had to happen. One of them would live and one would have to be cut down and if he couldn't find the strength to put his blade to deadly work, then he would forfeit his right to life.

That was not an option. He had someone to live for, someone he needed to get back to. The younger son of the Shimada clan gritted his teeth, eyes narrowing. 

He had a week to prepare.

Defeat was not to be an option, even if victory was to come with a terrible sacrifice.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! Just took a while to get it all to flow how I wanted and it had a pretty big scene for the middle, what with it being the big fight between brothers and all! 
> 
> I wanted to present it in a different light than some would think so wanted to make sure everything fit in perfectly c:
> 
> Sorry though for the cliffhanger of this chapter in advanced XD;

The week had been peaceful and for once, the Shimada manor had felt almost like a proper home. In those last few days before their trip to the mountains, Genji had never been more polite, more cordial towards his brother. The sentiments were returned in full and there were times the two of them shared an honest laugh, reminiscing on some old events. 

Yet there was no happiness in any of the remarks, all of it tainted by the underlying knowledge of knowing that their conflict was about to come to its bloody end. Genji just hoped he was prepared to face his brother physically, mentally, and emotionally once the hour of their conflict finally came. 

Genji stretched out in the gardens, the sweat of training still clinging to his brow as he tilted his head back to observe the blue sky above. Tomorrow the weather would be perfect for the trip to the mountain temple with his brother. The private venue, the most ancient structure of the Shimada clan's holdings, would be beautiful tomorrow. With the trees still verdant with summer's vigor, the sight would be breathtaking and in the early morning, the fog would still be clinging to the low valleys giving the place an almost mystical feel, like something out of a story. 

Their duel would not be against any sort of grim backdrop, no dramatic lightning or storm blowing up, only the weather of a perfect day, the evening sky clear and no doubt would be stained scarlet as much as their blades would be. The young man closed his eyes, heaving a soft sigh. The nerves were eating away at him. The fear of what he might have to do tomorrow consuming his waking thoughts ceaselessly. This time, the death blow would be far different than any struck in the past. 

Genji was not a stranger to killing. He had already committed the sin at a young age and had done his fair share of killing since then. Still, he could always recall that first time he took life.

At the tender age of eleven, his hands were already dripping and he could still recall the man, begging for his life as his father pressed the blade into his hand, telling him to strike. 

Everything had went quiet and the only sound had been the pulse of his young heart and his eyes wide as the man stared at him, begging, telling him he had a family, that he was not even a part of this, that he was just a bystander. The fear of hearing more of the man drove that first strike as a sob wretched its way out of Genji's throat. The following blows following that first strike were a frenzy of sheer terror, hacking away at someone who was already dead until he had dropped to the floor, trying to hide the sobs staring at his blood soaked hands. His father patiently praising him for having the strength to take a life, smiling as he patted Genji on the shoulder. The aftermath had left Genji numb and haunted by nightmares for months after, always thinking about the crime he had committed. 

Genji wondered if he would have the same reaction to striking his own brother down.

He opened his eyes, staring back up at the clear blue sky before dropping his gaze to the ground as he rose to his feet. The evening was fast approaching and there was still business to conclude and things to arrange for tomorrow. 

Or, at least, after tomorrow.

The young man slipped out his cellphone as he made his way inside finally collapsing into a chair in one of the private tea rooms off the garden, pulling up the familiar number of Gabriel. He had more or less went to the store to pay for his own cell plan to get his international privileges re-instated privately off of pay cards rather than his account. He hadn't yet told Gabriel but he felt he needed to inform his lover of what was about to happen and set up the final plans necessary to ensure they could be together.

The phone rang one, twice, and was halfway through the third ring when it was picked up and Gabriel's voice filled the earpiece, a sound that was so good to hear after so many days of silence between them, “Genji! What the hell happened?”

“Issues with my phone plan,” Genji said leaning back on the bench, stretching his legs out in front of him, “And right now on an international card with limited time so I'll give you an explanation after tomorrow,”

“After tomorrow? Why then? What is going on?” Gabriel demanded, his tone terse but the worry very apparent. 

“Because I'm going to turn myself into Overwatch custody then, that's why,” Genji answered, smiling slightly, “The day after tomorrow, tell your superiors that one of the Shimada clan's top members will be handing themselves into your custody in the Tokoyo airport, noon sharp,”

There was silence on the phone and Genji could almost feel the glare of confusion that Gabriel was giving it and couldn't help smile. He closed his eyes. It had really been too long since they last talked, “You still there Gabe?”

“I am but what you are proposing,” He trailed off, “They will put you in prison after Overwatch interrogates you,”

“I don't see that happening,” Genji gave a shrug, “If I arrive the day after tomorrow than you won't have anything to worry about with the Shimada clan. It will be dissolved, under my orders,”

There was another long pause of silence from Gabriel before he spoke again, his voice softer, “Genji, you don't mean-”

“Things are coming to a head and nothing can be done to stop it, not now,” Genji smiled slightly as he looked up at the blue sky above, “This is my choice. I could back down Gabriel, but I'm not. If I win, I'm turning myself in and ending this whole thing,” 

“You are out of your mind Genji. What if you get killed?” Genji could hear the concern in his lover's voice and more than anything right now, he wish Gabriel was there in the flesh and not miles away. 

“Losing is not an option, not for me,” Genji quietly said, “I might be crazy Gabe, but I'm tired of this and well, I'm tired of what my clan has become,”

The young man sat forward, his eyes rising to rail over the graceful columns of his home, the quiet chatter of birds in the air and the sweet smell of sakura blossoms that gave the whole place a peaceful feel. No one would look upon it and think it all existed within the gardens of a criminal family that dealt in pain and death. 

“The day after tomorrow then, noon at the airport,” Gabriel murmured softly, “And you better be there or I'm going to figure out where your sorry ass is and bring you in myself,”

Genji let out a laugh, a warmth blossoming in his chest at the other man's words, “”Fine fine. If you need to find me, I'll be up in the mountains probably, futzing around with my brother still. Hoping though we can wrap up our little family get together by tomorrow evening though,”

“Genji,” A frustrated sigh escaped Gabriel, “You keep talking like that-”

“I know what I'm doing Gabe,” Genji interrupted, his tone soft, “I'll be fine and if not, you'll be there to pull my dumb ass out of trouble, just like you did in that club, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I will. Genji? Don't get killed, don't get hurt, can you promise me that?” he asked quietly.

The younger man closed his eyes and smiled, “I'll do my best Gabe, but I make no promises. I'll see you soon. The day after tomorrow. Let's make it a date yeah?”

“I expect you to show up. I hate being stood up for a date,” Gabriel growled, “And be wearing your best,”

Another laugh escaped Genji. Even now Gabriel could still joke, even when he knew the man was completely riled up and worried. Just knowing that gave Genji a measure of confidence for what was going to happen tomorrow, a goal to keep in mind. He had to win, had to survive if only to hear Gabriel's voice again.

“I’ll be on time as best I can but I might be fashionably late,” Genji leaned forward letting out a sigh, “I better get going though. I think this card is about to run out,”

“Take care Genji. I love you,” Gabriel’s words sent a warmth through Genji’s chest and he glanced away. It was still so new to hear those words and know the person meant them so sincerely. 

“I love you to. I’ll see you soon,” he clicked the phone off and lowered it slowly, his gaze dropping to the ground.

Everything was in place. He had made his plans more or less and he had a goal to live for, come what may tomorrow. 

Everything would be settled at last. 

~*~

The day had been perfect, just like Genji had surmise. Just as the dawn had started to rise, touching every inch of the manor in a warm glow, Hanzo and Genji had headed out, moving into the mountains and to the family temple maintained far from the boarders of the city. The structure itself was ancient, restored many times since its construction long before the Edo Period in a time of myth and lore. It was said to have been the place where the dragons had bonded with the first of their bloodline and at one point had been the family home and center of power for the clan. 

It was so rare for them to make the long trip there with a few servants to provide the meals in the small, ancient kitchen. Yet the majesty of the building and the breath-taking vista that stretched out in all directions around the temple made it all worth while to visit once more. Misty valleys stretched on into the horizon with the tops of mountains rising from the sea of white as if ancient ethereal guardians silently watching over. The early morning sun crested it all, painting it in soft strokes of color more akin to a water color painting than a living, breathing landscape. 

It was a sight of complete peace and Genji stood at the balcony beside his brother, gazing out over it together as if today there was no battle to be fought or clan to worry about. For the first time in a long time, the two stood side by side as brothers.

“The lunch will be good today,” Hanzo commented softly, “All the familiar favorites prepared in the traditional styles,”

“Just like how our grandparents used to make,” Genji chuckled quietly, closing his eyes as the cool wind touched his face, “We used to come up here with them a lot,”

“With our parents as well. Every weekend if we could,” Hanzo smiled at the memory, “It has been a while since we came here to pay respects to the ancestors,”

Genji gave a nod, opening his eyes as he looked over towards his brother, “Will we be doing that before or after lunch? I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure of today's itinerary,”

Hanzo's gaze softened, becoming more morose as his gaze dropped to his hands. He knew what his brother was asking beneath his words. It was the question that was on his own mind and burned in his own heart. Slowly he pulled from the railing, turning back towards the central building of the temple.

“We will attend to the sanctuaries first and then take our lunch. Afterwards we will pay our respects and then dinner and tea afterwards. Then, well,” he looked back at Genji, “We will have one final talk,”

A smile touched Genji's lips as he gave a nod of understanding, “Sounds like a plan then. Let's get started,”

If everyday could have been like today, Genji was certain neither him and Hanzo would be standing at this precipice now. It was like the temple itself, the familiar action of cleaning family grave plots and altars, had purified the very air between them. Conversations that had been so rare for months now came forth, shared laughter over precious memories and even Hanzo was cracking a joke or two that had Genji bursting out with more laughter.

Everything felt right knelt side by side with Hanzo, going through the usual rituals and practices of paying homage to their ancestors and to the family guardian gods. Lunch too was wonderful, all the food perfectly prepared and the two ate in a comfortable silence. 

Neither of them spoke of what was to come although both knew the inevitable would eventually crash over both of them. 

Their weapons, still strapped to their backs and hips, spoke of that eventual climax of this day. 

Every silent prayer Genji made beside his brother panged his heart as what he asked for as a favor from the family guardians was for the blessing of victory to be bestowed upon his blade. He knew in his heart though that his brother asked for the same boon. They talked and laughed like brothers, but they were now enemies wearing the disguise of family. 

The time was passing too quickly though as those last moments were made truly blessed. 

Evening came slowly, the sun lingering on the horizon and bathing the entire landscape in a deep red hue. It was beautiful, Genji supposed, beautiful and a grim reminder of what was to come, of the blood that would soon be spilled onto the floor. Genji sat on the edge of the balcony, legs danging out over the precipice into open air, his hands cupped about a hot cup of tea. Hanzo soon joined him with his own cup of tea, sipping it lightly as the sun continued to sink into the horizon and the sky continued to darken. 

The servants moved around behind them, lighting the lamps of the temple carefully, casting everything into flickering pools of light before they retreated, no doubt given their orders to vacate the premise for the remainder of the evening by Hanzo.

Soon there was only silence and only the two of them sitting side by side as the night finally took control of the world with unfurling fingers of darkness. 

“I wish everyday could have been like today,” Genji began softly, “Maybe if that was so, we wouldn't have to come to this point,”

“We still don't have to. There is still time for us to fix this. An apology to the elders can start you on the road to forgiveness within the clan. A few missions here and there to re-instate loyalty and of course, ending this ridiculous affair of yours,” Hanzo looked down to the swirling liquid in his cup, “We don't have to do this,”

A soft laugh escaped Genji and a bittersweet smile tugged at his lips, “What you mean is I allow myself to be locked in a cage, miserable for the rest of my life. The other option is, of course, you as the head of the clan decide to let me go to do what I want. Is wanting to leave the clan really such a crime, anija?”

“You know it is not that simple, Genji,” Hanzo's voice was quiet but he refused to look over at Genji, “You leave, you become a liability and since I know where you are going, your leaving could spell our end Genji, and no amount of promises could cause that fear to be put aside. I cannot let you leave,”

Genji stared down at his tea, his grip tightening, “So that's it? There is no other way then?”

Hanzo did not answer and instead simply lifted his cup to his lips, quickly draining the warm liquid before rising to his feet. He stepped away from Genji, heading inside and taking the time to place his cup upon the table. He passed there only for a moment before he moved towards the doorway that lead towards the exit of the temple where he halted, his hand moving to rest upon the handle of his sword. 

“If you desire your freedom over your family, then you can leave, but only after I no longer stand in your way,” Hanzo's grip tightened and his head bowed forward, “That is the only other way you leave if you will not seek out forgiveness and see the error of your needless rebellion,”

Genji continued to stare into his tea before a soft sigh escaped him. He set the cup aside and rose to his own feet and let his hand trail over the familiar grip of his own sword, “I guess I had hope that today, with all that we talked about, that there would be something there that would mean just enough to persuade you to not go through with this insanity,”

“I can say the same thing about you, Genji, but I suppose the past is the past now,” Hanzo's thumb lightly pressed up on the handle, unsheathing his blade just a fraction, the candlelight reflecting off that mere sliver of mirror-like metal, “If you wish to leave, then you cannot. That is my verdict. If you will continue to rebel and not heed the orders of your patriarch, then you will be executed,”

“And so it comes to this. We've both lost our minds then,” Genji let out a dead, humorless laugh as he drew his weapon, “I will leave, Hanzo. The only way you keep me here is by putting me in the ground with our ancestors. I will no longer kill for this mockery of a clan, not after your death,”

Those words were still hanging in the air, echoing off the ancient wooden beams even as Genji launched himself forward, taking that initiative to strike out first. Hanzo though was already there, weapon sliding out in a flash and parrying the blow, pushing forward. He pulled back to swing at Genji hard only for his blade to clash again against his brother's blade with a shriek of metal. There were no more words, no tearful screams or desperate attempts to change it all. There was only the fight were each knew the stakes, both trained warriors ready to put aside feelings for now. 

This was a death match, not an opera. Not a performance. There was nothing fancy to their moves, no flourish to their attacks. The only guiding factor was the honor that road on the fight being fair. Blade against blade. 

No tricks. No games.

Neither even bothered to call upon their dragon spirit, the beasts twisting in grief and rage as the spirits of the two fell apart. All those empty cries he wanted to yell, all those feelings of love he still held for his brothe burned in Genji's chest but he pushed it aside beneath a cold mask.

Any yakuza could, for a short time, bury their heart to wet their hands in blood. 

The night had fallen fully now and the crash of metal and whine of sliding blades against each other echoed again and again, lit only by the flickering light of candles. That dim light casted flickering dancing shadows across the walls, like gleeful demons watching the duel unfold eager for the first drops of blood to finally touch the floor.

They did not have to wait long.

First blood was won on the tip of Genji's sword, a shallow cut up against his brother's shoulder, the keen blade cutting through the clothing there like it was nothing but paper. In turn though, Hanzo struck back, scoring a shallow cut along the flank of his brother. Neither paused or recoiled though, gritting teeth through the flash of pain. Any show of weakness, any opening would be a lethal mistake and they both knew it.

If anything, the sight of blood, of the crimson droplets now sprinkling onto the floor, finally made the whole situation real and the fear of death started to creep in. Fear, confusion, betrayal, anger, desperation, and contempt were broiling together in both men as they charged in. This time their blades met with a more ferocious and wild clang, eyes blazing with the fervor and terror of battle. 

 

Another strike. A parry, a swing. A hit.

A spray of blood splashed against the wall and Genji stumbled back, feeling a sudden, terrible pain up his lower arm. From the side of the wrist all the way up to his bicep, a cut opened up, staining the white of his clothes a deep crimson. The tendon there was cut and the hand on the sword was practically useless. His hesitation was enough for Hanzo to strike again.

Fear.

That was the feeling surging in Genji's chest as his sword fell from his hands, one arm useless, the other one bleeding from a similar cut. For a moment Hanzo stood there, breathing hard, staring Genji down, taking in the wounds inflicted to both arms although neither was fatal. 

He thought he had won. 

Hanzo raised his blade, ready to bring it down and for a second he hesitated, the full brunt of what he was about to do flickering in his eyes for a crucial but brief moment.

That was all the time Genji needed to launch himself forward, shoulder leading, catching Hanzo hard in his abdomen. The elder brother let out a gasp, eyes wide as he was tackled to the ground, the sword clattering beside him. Both arms bleeding and screaming with pain, Genji grasped onto the hilt of the sword and awkwardly brought it down towards Hanzo, digging it towards his neck.

Hanzo managed to catch Genji's wrist, barely holding it and by extension the blade back. His eyes were wide with panic, and he struggled against Genji kicking out as the desperate need to survive began to outweigh any sense or desire to remain honorable. Genji leaned all his weight forward, trying to dislodge his brother's hands and let the blade sink forward. 

His brother's exposed throat was right here. One puncture and Hanzo's lifeblood would be splattered over the floor in a spray of crimson. He would bleed out in moments with little pain. 

 

A cry erupted from Hanzo and with a sense of strength born from adrenaline, he managed to pull a knee up between the two of them and use it to help throw Genji up and over him before rolling to his feet. The sword landed point first into the wood of the floor between where Genji had landed, quickly moving to his own feet with the cat-like grace his ninja training had instilled him in, and where Hanzo stood, looking absolutely shock.

Then they were both moving for that sword and both their hands were on the handle as they looked into each other eyes, no longer men in a duel but children facing everything they feared in one single horrific nightmare that they couldn't wake up from. They shared a look of wide-eyed terror but neither wanted to stop.

Neither trusted the other to stop now. 

The two struggled for control of the sword, Hanzo slamming up against Genji's wounded arms intentionally, trying to force Genji to let go from the pain. The ninja merely gritted his teeth, sacrificing the grip of one hand to slide to the hidden knife in his boot. Just as Hanzo managed to wrestle his sword back, swinging it around to bring it to bare against his brother, a scream ripped through him and he buckled as Genji plunged the hidden weapon savagely into the back of his brother's lower leg, cutting into the tendon there. 

The elder stumbled back, nearly dropping to a knee from the crippling wound, eyes wide as he stared at Genji. 

It was a battle for survival now, not a battle for honor.

Hanzo knocked back against the dining table that mere hours ago they had sat at, laughing happily over memories of the past. The table wobbled under Hanzo's weight and the candle there fell over, rolling to the floor , a trail of flames following it.

The scene became hell. 

Hanzo lurched forward, trailing blood and unsteady on his one good leg, letting out a roar as he swung his blade towards Genji. The younger Shimada was barely able to block it with the knife he had, working his way back to try and make it to where his sword lay as the light of the flames roared higher now, licking up the beams and towards the ceiling of the family temple. The old dry wood had fueled the flame so quickly and it would not be long until other parts of the place began to catch on fire and turn the temple into a pyre for whoever lost this duel.

Genji wrapped his one good hand about the handle of his sword, pivoting quickly to bring it up to parry his brother's blow at the last minute, gritting his teeth as he felt his arm nearly give away under the blow from the pain. 

They stared, eye to eye as the world burned down around them. All their memories, their lives turning to nothing but ash. Everything they were and once were. Their gazes met just as the ceiling started to crack and the smoke began to grow thicker.

The beams of the home crashed and both moved away, Genji pressing up against the banister of the balcony, eyes widening as Hanzo landed hard, a muffled cry of pain trying to work its way past gritted teeth. One of the beams had landed heavily upon a leg and the elder writhed, rolling over to kick out with the other foot, already wounded from Genji's attack, and pushed the beam off with some effort. Broken bone though was sticking out through the crushed,bloody limb. Still, Hanzo dragged himself up to his feet, staggering to the open door. He spared a glance back at Genji, sword clutched in hand, one leg a mangled mess, the other crippled severely. 

Genji stood across the way, his own sword dangling in a hand barely grasping the handle, both sleeves soaked red with blood, his face scratched and bruised and his headband long since lost in the fight allowing his green locks to fall over his face slightly. 

They stood there looking upon the wounds they inflicted on each other as the temple groaned, shuddering as it began to tilt. There was grief now as cold realization finally settled in. All they had proven in this fight, like the dragon's of legend, was that the more they inflicted wounds upon the other, they inflicted even deeper wounds upon themselves.

The younger staggered as the floor of the balcony began to crack under his weight, eyes widening as he looked up at Hanzo. A wordless scream was forming on Hanzo's lips as he started to lurch forward just as the The floor gave way beneath Genji. In mere moments, Genji felt himself falling even as he instinctively reached out to try and grab onto anything, his blade falling away into the yawning chasm below, the firelight dancing over its gleaming surface of the blade. 

In that wild moment of pure fear and free fall though, something grabbed onto Genji, something firm. He looked up and there was Hanzo bleeding and sprawled on his belly, both hands gripping onto one of Genji's arms, fingers digging against the wound he had caused in a desperate grip. 

They had fought, they had spilled each other's blood in thisi nsanity their clan had caused, but at the heart of it all, they were still brothers and neither of them, no matter how much they tried, could break down and kill the other. Neither of them had been able to land that killing blow and even now,Hanzo clung to Genji like a man possessed as the full realization of what could happen hit him.

He was about to lose his baby brother. 

Genji tried to hold on but he could barely grasp with the hand, the fingers twitching and weakly scraping against Hanzo's wrists as he dangled. The cloth was already tearing as Hanzo's grip started to slip.

“Genji!” Hanzo choked out the name, a new kind of fear etched on his face as he tried to hold on.

 

Genji looked up and saw his brother and smiled. One last, smile, tinged with sadness, but still an apologetic smile.

“I'm sorry, Hanzo,” 

The cloth ripped and Genji felt himself fall as Hanzo screamed grasping at air.

The fall was shorter than he expected and Genji felt himself slam against the rocks of the cliff before bouncing off into free fall again. Again those he felt himself slam back first into a rock, gagging and feeling his sight reel. Instinctively he tucked himself in, raising his arms to protect his head as he slide,fell, and rolled against the craggy outcroppings. The pain was incredible and the entire world was bathed in absolute darkness, masking what he hit against and leaving Genji only with the sound of crackling rocks and groaning wood. 

At some point, Genji knew he had lost consciousness as things became a blur and he didn't actually remember coming to a halt. He only remember suddenly staring up at stars, his entire body feeling like it was on fire, covered in cuts and bruises, dirty, and broken but alive. For a long moment, he lay there panting hard, staring up at the small glow of fire high, high above like a tiny pinprick or star and the smoke rising into the air. All around him lay smoldered pieces of wood from the floor, the embers already dying on the rock surface. He tried to sit up and hissed , eyes closing tight as the movement jarred his leg and sudden hot pain like a dozen burning needles shot through every nerve. 

He managed to sit up at last, both hand falling to grip his knee, teeth gritted as he took in the damge. The leg was broken badly, the white of bone poking out the side and blood trickling out steadily. Really he was lucky an artery hadn't been punctured or he would already be dead. Still, survival kicked in and despite the horrific pain that made Genji want to black out again, he fought through it to tear off a strip of his shirt to tie tight above the broken bone to cinch the blood flow. 

With that small bit of self reservation taken care of though, Genji collapsed back, panting as he stared at the stars. 

He was alive. He was broken, bleeding, but alive. A hoarse laugh escaped him and he closed his eyes. 

He was alive, but he was pretty sure his chances were slim of anyone coming to savehim. If anyone from the clan came, they would take Hanzo to the hospital and not even bother to look for him. He was suppose to die by order of the elders. 

There would be no search party and it would be easy enough to put Hanzo under some sleep drug to keep his protests to a delusional ramble in the hospital if he bothered to protest at all. As for Gbriel, Genji had been vague with where he would be. No doubt the man would have no idea where to start in order to find his broken body, dashed upon the rock of a cliff overlooking wilderness. Shifting slight, Genji winced as he felt something digging into his side and gingerly he moved to pull it out. For a moment he stared at his phone, feeling a small surge of hope rise in his chest before it faded completely. 

It was broken. The screen was smashed and the whole side of the device had been crushed in the fall. He couldn't even call for any sort of help out here. Couldn't even reach out to Gabriel to tell him he was alive and were to find him. 

 

He was completely alone with nothing but the chorus of night animals to sing his requiem as he slowly died here, helpless and wounded. A choked sob escaped Genji before it turned into a scream for help. A desperate sound, a plea to anyone or any damn god above listening that he wanted to live still.

Dying was terrifying.

Dying alone, slowly succumbing to the elements was an absolutely hell on earth.

 

As the final screams left his throat, his vocal chords already cracking and ripped raw now, he slumped back, eyes brimming with tears, teeth gritted. Everything hurt and there was no response but the silence of the forest and the hush of the winds that seemed to gently whisper no one was coming.

His mangled leg was throbbing. Both arms lay at his side, screaming in agony and even flexing the fingers caused him pain.

He was going to die.

The young Shimada curled in on himself just a bit, like a spider in its death throes as it curled into a tiny little corpse, his body wracked with sobs. This was not how it was suppose to end, not like this.

 

Not like this.

Unconsciousness came as a blessing, the exhaustion finally claiming him and dragging his mind away to a dreamless sleep even as the cold of the evening settled in with a layer of dew. He did not how long he lay in that bliss, away from the reality of his situation, but by the time his eyes began to flutter open, the sky above was blue and the sunlight was streaming down around him. The chorus of bird song filled the trees around him making the whole scene seem like some pleasant dream.

The pain throbbing in his limbs and the aches of his head, as if he was swimming underwater were a sharp contrast to all of that. Slowly Genji sat up, letting out a gasp and curling forward, shivering. The cinched off broken leg was not looking too good now that he could get a good look at it, the red starting to become more a brownish color and there was a faint smell of rot in the air. 

Infection was already settling in and Genji bit his lip as he felt fresh tears welling up in his eyes. He glanced to his arms, both of them looking the same although the wounds along them were also gaining a tinge of brown to the edges with a clear discharge starting to seep from them. Pain and infection with no one knowing where he was. Within a few hours, gangrene could settle in fast and put him out of his misery by tomorrow evening.

A sob erupted in Genji's throat as he lifted his hands, the fingers stiff and he was unable to clench them without pain but he fought through it to do so. Tears ran down his face as he stared at the ground, at his broken, battered body, at the wounds already showing signs of settling infection and above him, the call of crows in the birdsong sensing something in the woods was a meal ready to be had in a few days time.

His throat was dry and lips cracked. His stomach rumbled with hunger and clenched with nerves. 

He was dying, eaten alive from the gashes his brother had left upon him, from the infection that would leave nothing but dead flesh in its wake, taking him cell by cell until he went into shock and from there, into the embrace of death.

“Damn you Hanzo,” Genji chocked out, “Damn you!”

The fear was all consuming, fueling the terror in his veins but it had been Hanzo who had attacked. Hanzo who had pushed them to this point. In his mind, Hanzo was the reason he would live out his last moments in the worse kind of agony known to man without any hope of survival.

He fell back against the earth and let out another scream, one of pure rage and terror, not caring how it ripped at his throat. He howled and his inner dragon howled unable to do anything to save its master.

The howl died in his throat, interrupted by a sob and genji unclenched his hands, bringing them up to cover his face, teeth gritted.

He only prayed now that whatever illness was growing in his ruined flesh would render him senseless and numb before death finally claimed him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much Genji/Gabriel this chapter, but more Genji being told the bad news of things.... I broke this chapter into two as wanted the next part isolated and its own scene for better impact <3 
> 
> Enjoy this snippet <3

Genji stared at the sky, eyes half closed, his mind overcome with the delirium of fever. His body throbbed but all of that pain seemed so distant now as he lay there, broken and battered upon the cold earth, the ground below him caked in his own tacky dried blood. Everything hurt, and yet at the same time, more and more he was finding it hard to feel some aprts of his body like his fingers or toes. All feeling seemed to have left them. A beautiful numbness that was slowly creeping up his limbs silently taking the pain away as he inched closer to death. 

His mind was blissfully miles away now, lost in the midst of the sickness that had taken root in his wounds,eating him away from the inside out, slowly but surely. Yet he wasn't alone. The delusions were ever present, making him feel like there was something or someone there beside him. Every shadow seemed to morph into some new horror, looming over him with leering smiles and barely audible whispers. He swore he could feel hands on him, little fingers digging into his skin or perhaps it was insects, already worming their way into him before he was even dead, eating him alive. 

Those terrifying thoughts born of the fever had him gasping and jerking about like an electric shock was racing through his nerves trying to shake off those invisible swarms he though were on him. He could barely move though. His limbs no longer seemed his own and like they were made of lead now. Genji felt like a broken puppet jerking about on its last string. 

For a moment a single thought of clarity broke through the fever, wondering wearily why death was taking so long to claim him. 

Genji closed his eyes as his strength once more bled out of him leaving him feeling weaker than before. Quietly, he leaned his head back, taking in a long, raspy inhale. His mouth felt so dried and his lips were already cracked and parched. His stomach was snarling for food and his brain was crying out for relief. At this point, it was a race to see which would claim him first: disease, starvation, the elements, or the wildlife. Genji would have taken his own life if he still had the strength to get his hand wrapped around something that could be used as a suitable weapon.

He just wanted it to end. This slow death was the most horrific execution his brother could have put upon him, to die with all the time to regret all that had happened and lead him to this point. 

As he lay there, his mind sinking back into the stupor of the fever, he became more and more aware of a humming noise in the distance that did not match the usual ambiance of wildlife that had been around him. Genji opened his eyes, staring up at the sky and tried to force is mind to latch onto that sound. 

It was getting louder whatever it was, filling the air with that whirring noise that seemed to vibrate through his pained temples forcing him to close his eyes at the flare of the headache that came up. Only when the noise was upon him did he realize what it was: a helicopter. 

More than one helicopter in fact by the uneven staccato of thrums in the air. 

Genji shuddered as he forced himself to sit up, his arms protesting the action as the long black and green gashes that were once wounds flared with pain, tendrils of infection spreading up healthy skin. The movement caused more of the puss to push out, making Genji gag at the horrendous stench of death that seemed to cling to him as he stared up at the sky, stupefied almost as a helicopter pulled into a tight circle, lowering drop cables. 

His first thought was it was his clan coming to finish the job and he couldn't help the smile of twisted relief that spread across his face. Being put out of his misery sounded wonderful right now. Finally he could be at peace without the stench of death in his nose and the unending throb of pain starting worm its way through his chest. It was only when the black clad figures touched down, spreading out to secure the area and the apparent leader stalked closer did he recognize the symbol on the sleeve.

“Blackwatch,” Genji managed out faintly, feeling his heart leap into his throat and his entire body tremble.

The figure approached him quickly, dropping to his side and cursed colorfully, a hand coming up to cup his face, “Genji? Genji are you still with me?”

The voice was familiar, deep and hoarse and the young man managed a smile, his body trembling with the chill of fever, his face radiating heat that shone in a sheen of sweat on his brow, “Gabriel. Gabriel. I'm sorry. I didn't-I got hurt,” he managed out, voice cracking.

“Its okay. Its okay now, just, just hold on okay? We'll get you help,” Genji just nodded vaguely at Gabriel's words, barely aware of a water bottle being put to his lips until that first drop of cold water graced his lips. 

Survival took over and he was clutching the bottle now, greedily guzzling down the water as Gabriel lifted him up, moving him to some sort of lift that had been lowered from the helicopter. Everything was a blur though and Genji could still see shadows beasts at the corner of his vision, his feverish delusions still there as his head lolled some as he pulled away from the water bottle. He was barely aware of the hands on his body, strapping in him in tight turning his head some to try and focus on Gabriel who was still holding his hand and murmuring soft words of comfort. 

The look in Gabriel's face was one of sheer horror at what he was seeing, an expression that made Genji's heart clench as he tried to reach out with a long since dead hand to try and touch him, “It's okay. It's okay,” 

He wanted to comfort Gabriel eve as he started to lose consciousness again. Gabriel's hand slipped from his own as he was hoisted upwards and a soft groaning cry escaped his throat before his vision began to fade again and soon, darkness overcame him once more. 

 

Consciousness came with a white light above him and the pain completely gone although his legs felt itchy, like a thousand little needles were being brushed over the skin. He was aware of a beeping noise to his right and the smell of sterilized soap burning in his nostrils. A soft groan escaped him as he turned his head some, trying to lift an arm, watching as the limb sluggishly rose, bandaged from fingertips to shoulder.

“I'm... alive?” the words came out slurred in a hush of disbelief. 

“Ah! You're awake! Excellent!” The voice jerked Genji's attention up to a young blond woman, a few years younger than him, smiling as she held a clipboard in hand. She stood in the doorway with the look that was an attempt to be pleasant but something about her look made Genji feel a rush of cold flood his veins. 

“Where am I?” Genji asked hesitantly, leaning back into the bed some.

The woman smiled as she approached, although Genji could see a tightness to her expression and a hint of pity in her blue eyes, “You are in Overwatch's critical care ward. My name is Doctor Angela Ziegler and well, I wish I didn't have to rush things but, we need to talk about a few things,”

Genji shrank back further, his mind trying to come to grips with everything being said, everything going to fast and already a headache was forming again, “What things? What is going on?”

“Genji? You are dying. Your wounds were not serious but the infection,” She lowered her gaze to his arms, “We already removed both legs below the knee to save as much as we could,”

A sick feeling shot through Genji's stomach and his gaze dropped to his covered waist as the pins and needle feeling increased, the itching sensation growing as if there was something there but a glance at the sheets, completely flat against the bed indicated what she said was true. 

“Oh god,” Genji managed out.

“Your arms are both infected. We thought we could slow the infection and salvage most of it but, well, we are going to have to amputate both of them as well, from the shoulder down,” Angela looked away, pain in her eyes, “And there is infection in some organ tissue as well now. There is not much to do about that,”

Genji stared at her, feeling the sting of tears starting to build up in his eyes as his entire body shook. He wanted to clench his hands but the long dead fingers barely twitched in response. The burning itching feeling was growing as if in denial of the legs no longer there. 

“This can't be happening. Why didn't you just leave me to die then!?” Genji's tone rose sharply as hysteria started to take hold of him, “You brought me here just to-just to butcher me!? Make me into a-a-a limbless freak!?”

“Please, Genji, calm down! There is still something we can try! We didn't amputate your arms just yet because this is your choice to make!” Angela held up her clipboard, placing it on his lap, “We have one last option, one that is highly experimental, but can save your life and restore full functionality of your body,”

Genji felt his breath wheezing in his chest but forced himself to look down at the clipboard. There was a cover form with the name “Project Lazarus” as the title with the sub-heading of “Human-cyborg augmentation” underneath.

With a shaking, barely functional hand, he was able to slip a finger under the page to flip the cover over, staring over the words but barely reading them, “You want to turn me into a machine?” He finally managed out as he looked over diagrams outfitting prosthetic and more to a human form. 

“Turn you into a cyborg. It is very different than just augmentation by technology. The organic and mechanical parts are weaved together using nano-cybernetic technology. We will be able to craft new organs made of both your original genetic material and nano-biocybernetic cells. All limbs will be connected to your nervous system, allowing you rudimentary senses of touch as well as control simply by thought,” She smiled as she reached out to touch one of his bandaged hands, “But we will be maintaining as much of your natural body as we can Genji. This is your last choice though. If you say no, then we will administrate a drug that will numb all pain and senses and allow you to pass on quietly. That is all we can offer. With the infection in your lungs now, you have only a day or two left to live,”

Genji swallowed hard, forcing down the bile in his throat as he flipped idly through the clipboard, not really looking at anything on the page. He either chose death or he chose to live, becoming something not human but not machine either. He would be some new form of organic life, some sort of new kind of Frankenstein monster rising off the slab when all was said and done.

The very thought of it had fear crushing down on his chest and clutching at his sense wanting to pull him into another bout of unconsciousness. He forced himself to stay awake though as he took in a trembling breath and nodded. 

“Okay. Okay,” He didn't know how he managed the words out, “I-I'll do it,”

He had to live. He told Gabriel he would live. He had to live if he ever wanted things to get better, even if the life he might be living would no longer be familiar. 

“I'll need you to sign,” Angela said softly, moving to slip a pen between the dead fingers of his right hand, “To confirm consent for the procedure,” 

“Fine,” Genji licked his dry lips nervously as he carefully wrote his name in the symbols of his mother language, the entire time his body trembling as he felt like he was signing himself away to a science project.

Doctor Ziegler was doing her best to try and calm him down, one hand on his shoulder rubbing it lightly, “It is going to be okay. I'll personally ensure everything goes smoothly. In an hour, we will be prepped for surgery. We will be putting you into an induced state of extended unconsciousness for the next week,”

“A week?” Genji managed out weakly.

“We will be replacing limbs and organs. It is...best you are not conscious for the process. When you awake, it will all be over, although it will be a few more weeks of rehabilitation and testing to make sure you have full control of your body,” She explained softly, “And I'll be with you every step of the way, okay? I'll look after you,”

He managed to nod, although the words were of little comfort, “Gabriel. Where's Gabriel?” he managed to croak out. 

“All non-medical personnel are not permitted in the quarantine area but I'll do everything to make sure he is there when you wake up,” Angela assured him, although her smile was a touch sadder, “After the procedure is done, we can arrange for a transfer to protected civilian life,”

“Protected civilian life?” Genji echoed before he quickly shook his head, “No, no I can't live as a- not like what I'm going to- is there any other option?” He managed to say, hysteria rising once more. 

Angela shushed him softly, rubbing his shoulder again and trying to calm him again, “Shhhh, its okay. Well, I only figured you would want to get out of-but ah, if you wish, you could remain a part of Overwatch after, the procedure,”

Genji gave a slight nod,inhaling deeply before speaking again, “No, not Overwatch. I'm no good to Overwatch. Put me in Blackwatch. Gabriel” he trailed off, feeling a pain of hurt in his chest, “I can be with him right?”

Again Angela smiled, a forced one of good cheer with sadness laying just underneath, “I'll see what can be done. That can be worried about later though. For now, I'll stay with you as the surgery is prepped and we can talk about what sort of personnel modifications you think we should take into consideration. Let's focus on rebuilding you,”

Genji nodded as he swallowed hard, looking back down at the clipboard and at the various diagrams there, “All right. All right,” he murmured, trying to get control of his racing heart.

He was going to be rebuilt, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally, that much he knew. 

He only hoped that when it was all over, the man he saw at the other end wasn't a stranger he had never wanted to become.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter is up! Got inspired to write this chapter at last. Short, but feel it is necessary! It was originally bundled with the previous chapter but I felt it better to split them up and elaborate a bit more c:

“He was asking for you Gabe. Before the surgery,” 

Gabriel didn't turn away from the observation window, eyes trained on the surgeons below as they worked over Genji tirelessly, surrounded by equipment that seemed like it would be more at home in the lab of some mad scientist than in a medical procedure. All of it looked so pristine as well, from the tanks where new cybernetic organs were literally grown from DNA, outfitted with self-sustaining bio-nanites that turned the color of the organs a molten grey with laces of glowing green veins to the tools used. Pristine and soulless. Elegant but so very empty. The entire sight made a slight tremor of nausea rise in the back of his throat but he fought it down. 

“Gabe?” The voice of the Overwatch commander came again from behind him, just a bit louder. 

“I heard you Jack. What do you want me to do? Go down there and hold his hand until they chop the arm off?” He glanced over his shoulder, frowning as he watch the commander approach him.

Jack let out a soft sigh, clapping a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, shaking his head, “You should have really talked to him. Hell, I thought you would with all the fuss you put up. You charged in there, pulled him out, brought him here for treatment and argued to have him put into this program to save his life. Now, it is like you don't want anything to do with him That isn't like you Gabe to try and retreat from something you started,”

Gabriel didn't response, his eyes fixed straight head ,not moving from his spot as he watched the man he loved get butchered by doctors, reshaped and rebuilt piece by piece. It made him sick to his stomach and he wanted to look away from the sight of the blood before him, but another part kept him there, grimly telling him that this was his punishment for having been part of the cause that had left Genji like this. He had to bear witness to Genji's rebirth in every gritty detail so he would know just how much he had damned him to this new existence. Yet one thought continued to lurk at the back of his mind as he watched the whole procedure: If the had never met and begun their little affair, Genji would be better.

He would still be whole and not ripped apart like this if they had never met that day at the beach. If fate had simply had him avoid the trip or have someone else catch Genji's attention that day, everything would have turned out better. Looking down at Genji as the doctors worked over him, tools gleaming in the bright fluorescent lights, glinting with brief tinges of ruby red, Gabriel could only feel the guilt eat away at him in away he had never known. 

“Gabe,” Jack's hand hadn't left his shoulder, giving a harder squeeze, “Talk to me. We can always talk just the two of us. We've never had an issue in the past,”

“What is there to talk about,” Finally Gabriel shifted his gaze from the operation below to Jack's worried expression, “The only thing to talk about is where he goes after this operation,”

“He's going to Blackwatch I figured,” Jack admitted, “He's a ninja by trade, even with the new modifications, he is best used for infiltration, keeping to the shadows, and espionage. None of which falls under my jurisdiction,”

Gabriel eyed Jack for a moment before turning away, his shoulders tensing, “What if I asked for a personal request and said he should go to Overwatch proper, not Blackwatch?”

That caused Jack to arch an eyebrow, “You really want to push him away? After everything the two of you-”

“He's fucked up because of his past, because of me. He just escaped a life of crime and syndicate activities I just-” He gritted his teeth, trying to get the words out that were burning in his heart, “I don't want to see him hurt by that again Jack. Blackwatch would only serve to remind him of his clan, his family, his other life. He needs, no, he deserves a new start in life, not more of the same,”

The commander of Overwatch's expression softened for a moment although he gave a shake of his head, “Gabe, Blackwatch isn't the same as-”

“Don't try that bullshit on me,” the words came out with a harsh laugh as he shrugged off Jack's hand, “Blackwatch does Overwatch's dirty work. It is the organization that doesn't exist and not one of us is going to get standing ovations as a hero. We aren't meant to be heroes,” 

A glance back at Jack and Gabriel could see the frown on his face, the furrow of his brow and the fight already wanting to crawl its way out of his mouth. The same old fight they've been in time and time again that always left a bitter taste in Gabriel's mouth every time he had to repeat the words and try to make Jack understand the reality. Not to mention that awful pang of jealousy that reared its ugly head at knowing no matter what he did, there would be nothing to show for it and any good Blackwatch did, the credit would always be Jack's. Perfect Jack Morrison, the shining star of the world, the every man's hero, the one that everyone thought they could be and were inspired to be. He had his flaws though. 

The man was far too good for this job and far too naïve for politics but then, that was all the government could want in a figurehead to their shining little gem of order and inspiration, Overwatch. Jack was easier to control. Gabriel knew that he was not a man that fit well into the plans the world governments wanted to piece together behind closed doors in meetings. 

“So what if I do this favor for you? What then? What will happen when he asks why or wants an immediate transfer? You can't just push aside it all. You can't run away from him,” Jack launched back, squaring his shoulder as he straightened himself to his full height. 

“Come up with a lie. Procedural bullshit. Politics. I know you can and I'm not running from him,” Gabriel leaned an arm against the glass staring down at the procedure and feeling his entire being seem to ache, guilt for being to late to help him surging up hot once more.

“You're running away,” Jack retorted, his frown deepening as he crossed his arm, “And I don't know why. I don't know why you are trying to take the blame, what is driving you to suddenly lose your head like this. Like you aren't even being yourself,”

Gabriel didn't responded, his own frown growing. Ever since that phone call with Genji he had felt something awful twisting him up inside. The feeling was a constant ache that seemed to be in his very soul, a sort of pain that didn't feel like his own, one of regret, lose, and an aching loneliness that no amount of time spent around the other Blackwatch agents that night at the bar relieved. 

The feeling had grown worse. The pain seemed to creep over his entire body, under his skin and he knew, he had just known something was wrong and Genji needed him like a strange shriek carrying on the wind guiding to where he needed to be but even then he had been too late. 

Now Genji was being practically reborn but there was still that strange foreign feeling of sorrow and anger, hot shame and guilt, all melding and ripping his mind apart and making him wonder if his presence caused Genji the same amount of hurt and that thought above all else made him want to do everything he could to keep them apart.

Genji needed better than Blackwatch.

“Please Jack,” the words came out quietly, his gaze not leaving the operation below, “Just this once, let's not make this into an argument. I'm asking you as a friend, please, have him transferred to Overwatch,”

A frustrated sigh escaped Jack, his shoulders slumping and a weariness seemed to fall over him, “As a friend, I should tell you to personally fuck off and to speak to Genji, to communicate because I see this getting worse by just trying to do what is right but,” another sigh rushed out of him as he shook his head, “ ButI know you. Just promise me, once this whole thing has been given time to settle, you'll make an attempt to talk. I've seen you smile when you two talked. I'm not blind Gabe. I know you love him,”

Gabriel closed his eyes and took a deep breath that he let out with a soft sigh. There was no denying that. He cared a lot about Genji but that is why this was how it had to be. Overwatch was better, they were heroes and were more adept at handling Genji's slow return to society and helping him adjust. Maybe, Gabriel hated to admit, he was just in some sort of shock, his own emotions more of a wreck than he realized, and perhaps he had to sort out some things before he could confront Genji and handle things right and not bumble it like his mind was doing now. 

A part of him knew though that Jack was right and putting it off wouldn't help but the idea of facing Genji was one he could barely imagine. He couldn't even think of what he would say or do caught between two warring desires. There was a strange fear in him, a tiny ember steadily growing that these feelings and emotions he felt was part of something bigger that had taken root between Genji and himself that he didn't fully understand. He couldn't understand why he was so afraid of loving Genji now when there would be nothing in their way.

Nothing in their way but this whirlwind of shame, guilt, worry, anger, sadness, grief, and relief all melding into a single, wretched entity. 

“I don't know what to think. I just know he will be better with you and Overwatch. He's a good man, not one cut out for the Shimada clan,” he closed his eyes, “Not cut out for Blackwatch,”

“Maybe not cut out for Blackwatch Gabe, but he is cut out for you,” Jack's frown was disapproving as he turned on his heels, “Maybe take some time off. You are letting your heart run away without your mind in all the worse ways and that isn't the Gabriel Reyes I know,”

Gabriel scowled, teeth gritted as he heard the door hiss shut and Jack leave. Below him the procedure only continued with blood and cybernetic parts, practically living, breathing machines half grown from tissue being implanted, metal and synthetic mesh replacing flesh and bone all while Genji lay, face scared and twisted, but appearing as if at peace without a trace of worry or hint of the turmoil that would come to a head when he awoke to see what he had become. 

Gabriel closed his eyes. This was the best course of action. He would be too busy with Blackwatch to be able to comfort Genji like he needed to be comforted. The thing between them was a strange affair born out of a desperation on Genji's part to have someone care and a weakness on his own part wanting to help Genji and keep him safe. Overwatch would be better. They would have individuals like Mercy there to ease him back on recovery and help to heal the emotional scars deep within the young man's soul. 

It was for the best.

Even to Gabriel though, those words sounded like an excuse, but it would be an excuse he clung to to try and combat the rising tide of uncertainty that was turning into something ugly in the very depths of his soul.

It was for the best. It was all for the best.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear something happy will happen eventually in this fic....but not in this chapter. I think we need to focus on how traumatic becoming a cyborg is though.... I hope I do justice to those feelings in this chapter!

“Now, touch your thumb to your middle finger,” 

The command came soft and cheerfully but said with a slow precision of someone not sure if their request had been heard. Genji didn't bother to hide the slight scowl twisting his features as he did what was said, flexing the metal digits with an exaggerated slow gesture and roll of his eyes. 

“There. I can touch my fingers together. I've done all your tests like this over and over again. Can we move on? I clearly have control of my body and can tell my fingers apart,” His tone came out more terse than he wished but he was agitated. 

Had been agitated for a long time. 

He had come out of the dreamless sleep feeling groggy and unable to tell where he was. Everything in his body had felt heavy and yet despite that he had managed to sit up on his own that first time, slumping forward and lifting his hands to have something to focus on. That glimmer of metal against synthetic skin and the lack of feeling anywhere brought reality crashing inquickly and he remembered locking up in horror, gawking and resisting the urge to just try and start peeling the metal off as if his normal body was still somewhere beneath it all.

A glance around the room had revealed no familiar faces and his heart had sank in his chest, leaving him feeling hollowed out at seeing Gabriel was not there. Of course his mind made up excuses, that he was busy, that he couldn't sit there the entire time he was out, but that had been days ago. 

Now here was sitting in Mercy's office as the doctor did her best to walk him through the procedures to test his body functions once more, to make sure his connections were sound and he had no delays in reactions. He knew she was doing her best, always there to talk to him and keep him company as well as help him adjust to his new body but there was still a tinge of displeasure that he couldn't quiet remove.

For all her kind words and help, he felt only growing resentment, feeling perhaps a bit patronized by the kind demeanor when he saw nothing to smile about. Everyone treated him as if he was some sorry victim to be pitied, that he was poor, abused by the clan, Genji Shimada, harmed by his brother, and now having to deal with radical changes to his life. 

Poor, poor Genji Shimada. Such a man to be pitied and to give sympathetic smiles and hold his hand every step of the way.

Gabriel would not have treated him like that. The man would have simply yanked him roughly back up and dragged him along until he could walk on his own and be there with his rough advice and blunt mannerism. He wouldn't sugar coat the reality of things with sugar sweet smiles and coos that everything wrong in his life could be “fixed”. 

His life was a horrendous wreck that everyone was trying to turn into modern art. 

“I just want to make sure everything is okay,” Mercy's words drifted through his thoughts, barely gaining his attention although he caught a hint of almost hurt in her tone, “I just want to help you Genji,”

“You did help me doctor and to that I do owe you a considerable debt, however, I would like to be able to explore some on my own and to....understand what duties I actually have in Overwatch,” The last few words were practically spat out with a bit of discontent that he tried to hide. 

He was grateful, honored really that they would want to recruit him but it wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted was to be in Blackwatch and be there with Gabriel. That, he was told, was impossible. Bureaucratic bullshit or the like. The reasoning was hollow sounding to Genji. One look at his dossier and a run down of his particular skills and it was clear as day Blackwatch was a better fit for his talents and yet here he was, recruited to Overwatch, expected to be a sudden hero and shining example of all they did for the world and enjoy the pity and smiles of people he barely knew and just saw him as a sad story.

A tragic little patient they had saved.

“Commander Morrison will debrief you in time. There is no rush,” Mercy smiled, “Perhaps though in the meantime we could go out to get some fresh air together?”

“I'll pass. I am not one for company right now,” Genji murmured, glancing away. 

He could see the flick of disappointment in her features and he could almost laugh. His heart was aching for someone else, his life was completely fallen apart, he had endured the worse betrayal of his life at the hands of his brother and yet, here he was, already being pursued? Did they think him so emotionally weak that he would sob into the bosom of anyone after what he had been through?

He was not ready for that, not even new friendships. Not when everything hurt like a raw nerve.

“As you wish then, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask,” Mercy responded, handing him over the security pass, “That will get you out of medical and around most of the living quarters but not into anything else. Just enough to keep your legs limber. If anything feels out of place come right back though, understood?”

“Understood,” Genji took the pass and turned it over some in his hand, biting back a bitter laugh. 

In all honesty, nothing felt right. Nothing felt right and probably wouldn't feel right for a long time. His body felt entirely foreign and he swore he could still feel his skin itching beneath the metal. Phantom touches combined with what little touch he had been granted by his cybernetic body. All of it still so damn unnatural feeling.

Still, the walk did some good at least in relieving the feeling of being penned in and allowed him the time to think, away from the pitying smiles. The one thing though that couldn't be relieved was the amount of anger, hurt, confusion, and other emotions burning in his chest that he knew were not entirely his own. Without thought, Genji brought a hand to his chest, touching over where his heart was as he came to a halt at one of the large windows that looked out over the landscape surrounding the base, the training fields and vehicles parked outside with fences encircling the whole place, bathing it in light and beyond that, only dark silhouettes of mountains touching a sky burdened by drops of crystals. There was something soothing in those formless masses on the horizon and it helped a little to quell some of what he felt although only a little.

Everything still didn't feel right. 

Bonding was not suppose to feel like this according to the stories. The feeling of love and connection between two individuals who had bonded via the dragon was suppose to be something that brought comfort, no matter the distance, and to bring about a sense of peace. All Genji felt in the bond wasa slew of twisted emotions that fed into what he felt and no doubt was then pressed back against Gabriel wherever he was. It was a circle of negative, black, heavy emotions that neither of them were able to overcome it seemed. 

If he could just see Gabriel though, Genji felt he could maybe do something to relieve the tension they shared. 

A sense of yearning began to grow again and he let out a soft sigh, shoulders slumping as he moved to the window, opening it up to let in a rush of cold mountain air. The cold no longer bothered him but just to feel the dull sensation of air moving and of fresh air at that after being confined to such sterile quarters for so long was soothing. It helped, just a little but still so much in his life felt wrong and was entirely wrong. 

His gaze flicked down to his hands, such unfamiliar things now, metal with synthetic mesh like coal pulled over the pads and only afforded him the dullest sensations of touch. He was told that he was still very much a “work in progress” and as time went by, he would be upgraded as better fixes came out. It just made his chest seize up more but he had only nodded to change the topic conversation away from that. He didn't want to keep thinking about how many times he was going to be put under the knife to “adjust” his new, wretched, mechanical body. 

The scuff of feet had Genji turning his head, shoulders rising in apprehension. In the gloom he picked out a figure shambling forward unsteadily with the familiar gait of someone who had drank far too much and was making a cautious effort to try and put one foot in front of the other. Their gazed was fixed on the floor as they wobbled about and Genji could almost laugh.

How many times had he come home putting forth that same momentous effort to not fall flat on his face? 

Whoever they were though, they were largely unfamiliar but their uniform was what caught Genji's attention. The black form fitting uniform of Blackwatch stood out against the pristine white, grey, orange, and blue of Overwatch and that only had Genji cocking a single brow, and a contemplative forwent touching his face. 

The figure came to a halt at the crossroad of the halls, glancing up blearily. It was a man, Genji would guess, one wearing a ridiculous cowboy hat, his features smooth and he seemed close to Genji in terms of age. He gave a drunken muffled belch before his gaze fell on Genji and he started, nearly falling over himself, “Whozzit, what the-who are you!?”

Genji chuckled, perhaps a bit grateful that the man had asked who instead of what. 

“”Genji. Just ...an Overwatch operative I suppose,” he cyborg leaned against the open window sill some, “And you?”

“Jesse. Jesse McCree,” he murmured, rubbing a hand up under his hat, “Think I got a tad bit lost on the way from the party and all. It was someone's birthday. I don't usually drink this much I swear! It was a game!”

“I believe you,” Genji said gently, easily slipping into that calm voice he had perfected to put targets at ease, “So, are you with Blackwatch?”

Jesse paused, rubbing a hand up under his hat again before nodding some, “Yeah. I should get back there uh, you know which way by chance?”

Genji gave a wry grin. He knew the way to Blackwatch. He had practically mapped it out in his head when he had been given the digital tour of the base. The problem though was he didn't have the clearances to get through security there, as if he was intentionally being kept out. 

Now though, here he was with a drunk who had clearance. The plan was practically putting itself together right before him and the opportunity to get into Blckwatch was far too tempting a morsel to let go, even if he knew he was probably not quiet ready for any confrontation. At the very least, he could snoop about and perhaps gain some recon and insight into why Gabriel was trying to close him out. 

The cyborg moved up beside Jesse, sliding an arm about him and giving a charming smile as he nodded, “I'll guide you there but I don't think I can get you through security,”

“Nah, I can handle that and all. I'm Blackwatch and I've got, you know, a thing with the commander,” Jesse gave a wink and Genji bit back a scowl. 

He pushed down the bloom of anger, quickly assuring himself that he doubted Gabriel was cheating on him or something with Jesse McCree. Still with how Gabriel seemed more than intent of ignoring him completely now, it was far harder to just tell himself he was reading into things too much. 

His grip tightened a bit on Jesse and his smile was a bit more forced as he started to bodily guide Jesse down the hall at a brisk pace. The poor man barely was able to keep up, stumbling along and only Genji's steady grip kept him on track. 

“What's the rush?” Jesse grumbled, one hand rising to keep his hat on his head, “Base is not going anywhere,”

“No, just figure it is best to get you quickly to bed to avoid a hangover,” Genji lied. 

He had always been a good liar though. Years of practice had made him able to say just about anything with a smile and calm tone to put the individual at ease. McCree was drunk enough to just frown at the lie and give a slow nod of agreement as Genji rushed them towards the divide where the Overwatch base became the Blackwatch headquarters. 

“Man,” Jesse murmured, “Gabe is gonna be pissed with me. I told him, no more benders but it was a party! A birthday party! You think he will forgive?”

Genji didn't even look at McCree as the young man looked up at him, feeling his grip tighten again and his teeth get set on edge. Jealousy was rising up hot in his chest about this man before Genji could even try to rationalize to himself that there was nothing going on. McCree seemed to notice the chilly demeanor and started to give small tugs as if to move away from Genji.

“I don't think your an Overwatch agent, are you? Or uh, have I done something to upset you?” The man asked sheepishly, looking concerned. 

“No, you haven't. I'm sure your....partner Gabe will be more than happy to forgive you,” Genji responded tersely.

After all, how many times had Gabe forgiven him for his own transgressions and wild nights where he would come back and phone him a little tipsy and have the man grumbling at him? Still, Genji's answer made McCree blink before he burst out laughing as if he heard something hilarious. 

“You think Gabe and I are-! No! Hell no! The man is like my father and I ain't got that kind of kink!” McCree let out another laugh shaking his head, “He treats me like an infant is all and gets so worried about just about anything. He's dating some other man or something. Someone from Japan? I don't know. Sounded complicated and I tuned out of that bag of fun,”

The answer helped to ease the jealousy at least, smothering it in a blanket of embarrassment at how quick he was to assume Gabriel was cheating on him. But then, who was to say he was wrong to think that with how Gabriel had not once spoken to him since he awoke. Not to mention everyone seemed to be on eggshells around him, as if no one wanted to talk about the commander to him.

That, or they were ordered to remain silent. 

Genji came to a halt before the Blackwatch headquarters bulkhead, turning to Jesse who tottered forward to hit the com, leaning against the wall some as he did, “Open the goddamn door already. The robot here is with me. He's friendly,”

There was a sigh from the other side of the comm and the camera above shifted, looking over the two before the door dinged and began to open, “He stays with you. If he's reported outside of your room, we are reporting this,” the tired security guard murmured. 

Jesse just smiled as he swung an arm about Genji's shoulder, the cyborg stiffening just a bit, a scowl on his face as he shot the cowboy a look for the comment about being with a “robot”. The cowboy though didn't seem to even acknowledge that look as he started to pull Genji forward as the two entered into Blackwatch, “Oh please! I've got both eyes on this one don't you worry! Don't have to tell Gabe nothing!”

Genji felt kind of bad, just a bit. He had no plans on staying where Jesse could see him. In fact, as soon as he had Jesse in his room,the man had passed out as soon as his head touched the pillow. Genji had moved the cowboy onto his side at least and put a class of water on the nightstand before more or less leaving the room to take a peak around the base. Of course though, he didn't use the door no. He wanted to be unnoticed, not have security baring down on him. After all, he was, first and foremost, a ninja and he knew even a base like Blackwatch had other entrances and ways in and out. Ventilation systems for example. 

It was almost too easy to get through the vents and into the office area and as he had assumed, most of the rooms were empty and dark. Honeslty, Genji had just wanted to drop into Gabriel's office and find something of a day planner or the like to figure out the man's schedule and plan the best moment to approach him and “politely” ask what the hell was going on. He had just wanted to do some preliminary recon. That was it. He had come into this whole personal infiltration mission with the assured promised to himself that he would be in and out and no one would be none the wiser. 

There was, however one problem with his plan, one unforseen monkey wrench that had been thrusted forward into the inner workings of the whole mission: He had not expected Gabriel to still be in his office, hunched over paperwork this late at night and that little hangup brought a rather ugly and sudden rise of feelings that prompted Genji to change his plan of attack in mere moments. 

Logic went out the window under the impulsive drive of emotion that came with seeing Gabriel in person for the first time in a long time. 

“Your security has a few holes in it. I think you should consider screening things a little better,” 

Genji felt a wicked sense of glee as Gabriel jumped at the sound of his voice, turning around to stare at him. It was clear he was speechless and the cyborg just tilted his head as he crossed his arms, not bothering to hide the touch of a frown gracing his lips, “What's wrong Gabriel? You look as if you've seen a ghost,”

 

The commander finally glanced away as Genji moved to seat himself on the desk, scowling. Neither of them said a word and the silence only worked to feed the growing rancorous beast wanting to tear its way out of Genji's chest.

He broke the silence with a short, terse question, eyes narrowed as he regarded Gabriel, “Did you think I died while going through this hellish procedure?”

“No-”

“Then second question,” Genji said quickly, voice dropping low as his eyes narrowed, “Why did you not come to see me once that entire time?”

Gabriel wasn't making eye contact, already glancing away, and a sudden sharp sense of hurt was growing inside now. The feeling was worming its way up into his throat, clutching at his lungs as if trying to smother every breath out of him, “If this is how you show you care, it is a really shitty way to do so. I needed you, need you Gabriel. You think I want to be like this?”

“Genji, I- just this-” Gabriel was trying to speak, still avoiding meeting Genji's smoldering gaze, floundering in a way that was laughable and at the same time digging fingers into the cracks in Genji's already battered heart.

“Just what? This isn't hard Gabriel. It shouldn't be hard!” Genji snapped, “Just tell me why the hell one minute you seem to care about me and the next? The next I'm being pushed aside like a fucking waste of your time,”

“You aren't a waste of my time Genji. What happened to you was- if we had never met-” Gabriel began only to be interrupted by Genji's hands slamming on the desk.

There was anger in Genji's entire form, burning in his eyes and practically crackling along his body. Gabriel pulled back just a bit, scowling as his entire body tensed. There was a flicker of aggravation though as the Blackwatch commander watched Genji let out a soft, humorless, and bitter laugh.

“You think that all of this would have been avoided if we didn't meet? I was dead to the clan no matter what. You, someone else, it would have come eventually and I made my choice. What happened to me was my choice. It was my choice to go against the clan, my choice to not back down, and my choice to love whom I want,” Genji's eyes narrowed further, fingers digging into the wood of the desk, “And certainly it was my choice to be made into this....this thing I am now,”

He took in a shuddering breath, shaking his head, “You aren't to blame for any part of this Gabriel so don't push me away like that is going to be some favor! I don't have anyone else. No family, no friends. I just have you, just had you to live for. If you weren't here....” he swallowed hard as he looked away, “I think I would have taken death over turning myself into an abomination. I thought you at least would, would still-”

The anger was burning off as he shook, trying to calm his breathing as another wave of loathing and nausea welled up in him. He swallowed hard, now unable to look at Gabriel, not wanting to see the other man's reaction as he curled his fingers against the wood beneath his hand into fists, “What am I to you anymore?”

He could feel so much conflict inside of himself and not all of it was his. He felt remorse, hurt, grief, guilt, and a whole mess of other feelings and being so close to Gabriel, it felt like there was no difference between them. The dragon yearned to have it all soothed. The bond was suppose to be a way to comfort without words and actions, to go beyond what was comprehensible. It was suppose to make them one, unified, balance, and soothing entity. It was suppose to make everything feel right again, that was what the stories said.

Together though, they were pressed against each other, ripping at each other as they struggled to find some bearing to a life that was uprooted and spiraling out of control. 

“Genji, I didn't want you in Blackwatch because I wanted you to have a better shot out there, a new start. Not just a reminder of the past,” Gabriel began slowly, trying to find the right words to say, “It probably isn't my fault. It was your choice, but doesn't change the fact I feel responsible for this, for everything,”

Genji snorted, looking away, “Yes well, sorry to say but I'd rather you not try and do what you think is best for me and let me determine that,”

“Genji-” There was a strident undertone to Gabriel's voice, almost pleading. 

It sounded like Hanzo when he was on the verge of another lecture about responsibility. It sounded like their father when he was about to scold him. It was a sound that was not one he wanted to hear, not from the man he loved. Not from his bond mate. 

“Do you want me near you or not? Did I become this thing and choose a macabre life as some sort of half machine weapon over an honorable death for absolutely nothing?” Genji asked, every word spat out, “Was a little change in appearance all that was needed to end how you felt about me?”

Gabriel was silent for a long moment before he let out a heaving sigh, rising to his feet, “I don't know. It is going to take time Genji. After everything that just happened, the state you were in,” he trailed off, a delicate scowl touching his lips, “We can't just jump in where things left off just like that. Things have changed,”

'Why can't we just jump back in? What honestly has changed at the core?” Genji retorted.

“A lot has changed. We've both changed. You've changed a lot more than just physically Genji,” Gabriel's words cut through him and he felt the anger flair up again, the frustration twisting in his chest, a throbbing, painful swarm that seemed to find its way even through synthetic limbs to burn a path down to his finger tips. 

“So that's it. That's your answer to all of this? I've changed too much for you and you want to take all the blame and guilt, like it will do me any fucking good that you are abandoning me,” Genji snarled, stalking around the desk, “Need to play the hero for the poor, broken, fallen brat of the Shimada clan now,”

“I'm not playing hero,” Gabriel retorted, eyes narrowing as he rose to his full height, not backing down as the cyborg approached, “I'm stating the facts,”

Genji gritted his teeth, that new found anger coiling itself around his heart and making him feel a strange mixture of light-headed and yet focused. Everything hurt though. He felt such sadness, despair, confusion, and uncertainty. 

Not all of it was his own but he shoved it aside, tried to bury it as he stepped in closer to Gabriel's personal space, glaring at him, “Facts? What facts? The ones you made up to comfort yourself?”

“Genji-” 

There it was again, that lecturing strident tone. The tone of a commander dealing with some unruly solider. That wasn't how he wanted to hear his name said, not by Gabriel. This wasn't what he wanted nor what he needed and the only thing screaming in his head was anger, bursting out along in burning crackles along his limbs, aching to lash out. Before he knew it, synthetic fingers were digging into cloth and with a strength he was barely aware of, had slammed the Blackwatch commander hard against the wall. 

The action was sudden and caught Gabriel completely off guard, a wheezing gasp escaping him as the wind was knocked out of him by the hard hit but true to his nature, the commander didn't wince or show any sort of discomfort other than a terrible scowl, twisted halfway to a grimace plastered across his face. 

“Don't Genji me like that. I'm not a child. I'm not naïve Gabriel,” Genji hissed, “All I wanted was one thing. One damn thing. You. I wanted you to be there when I woke up. To smile, to treat me like you did when we were together before. To talk to me like you did over the phone, like nothing was wrong. That this was going to be okay. That we would be okay,”

Gabriel was silent, staring at him, his expression blank other than the sadness burning in his eyes with another emotion that was hard to place. The silence though was deafening upon Genji and he felt his teeth clench more as his fingers curled tighter into Gabriel's shirt. 

“Why won't you speak to me?” The question came out as a whisper, nearly pleading despite the anger still hot in each syllable, “Why won't you just- why won't you just treat me like you always did before?”

“Now isn't the time to talk about this Genji,”Gabriel's voice was as firm as ever as he put his hands over the synthetic ones pinning him against the wall, “You need time. I need time. You think this is easy on any one of us? We can... try to talk when you are more rational about this,”

Those words stung more than they should even though deep inside Genji knew Gabriel was somewhat right. Somewhat right, but not completely justified in his actions either. They were both wrong. They were both upset. Those weren't the words he wanted to hear, not when his heart was ripping itself into pieces and everything going on made him simply feel like this was Gabriel's attempt at a break-up after everything else. 

He was losing the only stable thing he had thought he could keep. 

He lost his family. His body. His life. Everything he was.

Now it felt like he was losing the man that had always looked out for him, taken care of him.

Loved him.

It was hard to react rationally when it felt like there was nothing there to ground him. 

A strangled, wounded sound of anger ripped its way out of Genji's throat as he suddenly pivoted, all but throwing Gabriel into the desk hard, hands practically ripping the fabric of the commander's shirt as he did so. The commander hit the desk a lot harder than Genji had intended or was even ever capable of the young man before. The cybernetic body he had was still new and he was still adjusting.

He hadn't meant to do more than just shove him away and now he stood staring, wide eye in horror as Gabriel winced, pain in his features as he lay in the twisted fragments of his desk pushing himself to his knees with loud, wheezing breaths, one arm already wrapping about his midriff. Genji felt the anger drain out, replaced with sheer horror at what he had done, dropping his gaze to his now shaking hands. 

The cybernetics in his body granted him various talents befitting of a weapon. He had shurikens hidden in his hand and an arsenal of weapons at his disposal. His speed and strength were far beyond that of a normal human now, all of it though able to be contained with training. He hadn't trained though, not yet. He still had to adjust to his new strength and abilities, something that Mecy's tests so far had not moved up to. She had only been testing basic motor functions, not how to control and set the limits of what he was capable of. 

He had just thrown the man he loved into a desk with the force of a car hitting into unyielding flesh. Blood was on Gabriel's lips as he tried to pull himself up with his office chair, grimacing but with a look of guilt still in his eyes. Was he blaming himself for this too?

Genji swallowed hard, looking up, panic mixing with the horror in his expression, “I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean- I just-”

“It's okay Genji. Probably deserved that,” Gabriel managed out, wincing again as he collapsed into the chair, wheezing louder.

Things weren't okay though. 

He had just harmed Gabriel. This wasn't right. He wasn't right. He was- nothing but a-

“I'm sorry,” Genji croaked out, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” He repeated those two words, babbled them like a mantra before turning on his feet and running out.

“Genji!” 

He heard his name yelled out with pain buried underneath but for the first time in so long, there was concern again. Concern that just jabbed harder at Genji as he ran, blowing pass the security officer who had a call of protest on his lips but was far too slow to impeded the cyborg. Genji didn't stop running until he was bursting into the medical bay again, causing Mercy to jump some in her seat and nearly spill her coffee. 

He practically staggered over to her desk, dropping his hands to the metal corner and gripping onto it like a lifeline, gasping like a man drowning as he stared at her, wide-eyed, on the verge of hysterics. His entire form was trembling and it was a miracle he still stood on two legs. 

“Genji? Genji what's wrong?” Mercy asked, already on her feet and rushing around, brow furrowed, “is one of your systems malfunctioning-”

“I'm a monster,” Genji whispered, “I'm a monster! I'm- I'm not even human am I?!” 

He pulled away from her touch hand rising up to grip at the metal protrusions of his skull, tugging on them hard and feeling the metal protest just a bit sending a small shock of discomfort through his systems, “I'm not human, I'm not human!”

“Genji! Genji please, you need to calm down. You are experiencing a panic attack!” Mercy approached him again, trying to get an arm around him, “You need to breath in Genji, please-”

“Breath? I don't need to breath! Machines don't fucking breath!” his voice was loud, too loud in his ears as he hunched over, felling sick to his stomach like he was going to throw up although nothing was coming up in his throat, he staggered forward to brace his hands against the wall, starting to dry heave between wheezing inhales like his body was twisting itself up from the inside out. 

Mercy was there still, one hand on his back, trying to sooth him even as nurses rushed into the room to help her in getting him to calm down. Even with the dry heaves he tried to speak, tried to tell them all to stay away from him. He was dangerous. He was a weapon. He was nothing but a- but a-

“I want to die. I don't- I can't live like this. I can't be like this!” Genji managed out, “I need to- please!”

“Genji, listen, please,” Mercy was trying to urge him to look at her but he refused, staring at the wall, “Genji, you aren't in the right state of mind. It is just the stress of the changes overwhelming you and-”

“He doesn't want me does he? He doesn't want me,” Genji whispered, only still on his feet as the servos in his legs locked to keep him upright, “I have nothing left. Nothing fucking left. Why didn't I just die? Why?!”

He was barely aware of a nurse hanging Mercy a syringe before there was the prick of a needle at the back of his neck and then a suddenly wave of dizziness followed by a blissful fall into dreamless unconsciousness. 

The darkness didn't last. S if he had just closed his eyes for a moment, he found himself waking up flat on his back and staring up at the familiar ceiling of his room although the dancing array of sunlight against the white paneling told him that the night had passed into day at some point, for whatever that was worth. 

A groan escaped him as he closed his eyes, both hands coming up to dig the palm of his hands against his eyes, rubbing them lightly. A sense of fatigue was lingering in his limbs but it was slowly starting to dissipate as his systems purged the last of the drug from his systems and reported everything as optimal once more. His head hurt, but not really all that much. It paled in comparison to the throb in his chest as he recalled what he had done last night. That single memory had him stiffening up, teeth clenching.

He had hurt Gabriel. Unintentionally yes, but still, the damage was there.

“I'm going to assume you are about to have a repeat of last night and I will tell you now Genji, I will not hesitate to knock you out again if you won't speak to me calmly,” The voice was quiet, but firm and to the point and left no room for nonsense. 

Genji lowerd his hands slightly, glancing over warily to where Mercy sat, the doctor looking more than a little sleep deprived from the dark circles around her eyes, but there was still a power burning in her blue orbs and in the thin line of her mouth like a mother about to scold an unruly child.

It was honestly hard to believe they were nearly the same age.

“I won't. I'm fine. Too tired for that,” Genji murmured, dropping his hands to his side, “I won't be an unruly, out of control weapon,” 

A surprisingly loud and frustrated sigh escaped Mercy as she shook her head, rising to her feet, “You aren't a weapon Genji, not unless you make yourself into one,”

Genji snorted, scowling as he looked away, “I did choose I suppose. I said to go through with the procedure and turn into this abomination I am now. Now though?”

He raised his hands, staring at the metal hands, the hands that just last night were throwing Gabriel halfway across the room. Both hands clenched into fists as self loathing rose up hot and heavy in his chest, “I'm regretting that choice,” 

“So you regret wanting to live?” Mercy asked, her tone terse.

“I regret thinking I had someone to actually live for,” Genji responded, closing his eyes again. 

“Who said you need anyone else to live for?” Mercy glanced away as she tucked a lock of blond hair behind her ear, “I'm worried about you Genji. I'm keeping you on a watch,”

He really should have expected such a reaction and really, he couldn't blame them. Didn't make him feel any better though to know he was going to be watched because he was now some high-risk weapon in danger of self imploding. It also probably meant it would be even longer before he was cleared to actually take active duty. That thought alone had him grimacing and turning to lay on his side, back to Mercy like a child trying to tune out a punishment. 

“I don't want to do this Genji, I really don't. I just- after everything you've been through, I don't think you have nothing left. I probably am being no help though,” she let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head, “I'm a doctor, not a psychologist. I have limited training in that regard but, just, just think about it at least okay? You don't have to rely on someone else to live,”

Genji was silent, staring up at the wall. Her words held wisdom to them, that was for sure. She was right in many regards but she didn't feel what he felt, the twisted bond in his chest,the faint phantom thrums of pain around his entire torso mixed with conflicting feelings that he no longer could put a name to. She didn't understand that the bond between him and Gabriel made it a very real possibility that he could live only for him.

“I'll think about it,” He finally said, giving her something to quell her fears. He at least owed her that.

The young doctor gave a tired smile and anod, “Thank you Genji. You are not as stubborn as Gabriel at least,”she let out a quiet, awkward laugh as she tried to lighten the situation, “He came in last night with broken ribs and claims he fell. Jack is not convinced but when Gabriel doesn't want to talk, he won't talk nor will he sit still or listen to a word I say. Well, a word anyone says really,”

That caused Genji to turn his head to regard Mercy, brow furrowing some as he slowly sat up, “He said he fell?”

“Fell in his office trying to do something and smashed his desk. Must have been a great height to break ribs but I know better than to argue with him, even when I know he is telling a lie,” Mercy shook her head, “Everyone here is just trying to work me into an early grave from stress alone,”

“He fell,” Genji murmured more to himself. 

Gabriel had lied about his injuries which in turn kept Genji from suffering any fallout. There would be no hunt or lecture coming, no one there to enforce some new protocol on him. In a way, that lie was allowing Genji still a measure of freedom.

He had lied when he clearly didn't have to to most likely protect Genji from taking any sort of blame from the rest of Overwatch. 

The cyborg swallowed hard,wrapping his arms about his body as he tried to process that. One side wanted to desperately see it as a sign that Gabriel still cared but another part was whispering about how it was just the man feeling guilty and taking blame to keep Genji away from facing consequences for his actions. 

A laugh escaped Geni, a sound so sudden and out of place that it caused Mercy to jump and regard him with a measure of confusion. Her expression just made him start to laugh harder. He laughed like he hadn't laughed in a long time in loud guffaws that burst up from his lungs but it wasn't long before another sound crept into the laughter. A choked barely contained sound as he bent over his own knees. He was barely aware of Mercy coming over to wrap an arm about him, rubbing his back silently as he fell apart again.

Grief came in stages but in time, it could only be held on for so long. It found its way out in small bursts, slowly leaking out but forever leaving remnants of its touch. 

Genji cried. He laughed. Still he had no idea how to feel. He was too tired and afraid to be confused, too sad to be angry. He felt numb to it all, apathetic about the confusing whirlwind of emotions that had become his life. Love and still so unloved. Alive and yet dead to so many. Human, but not quiet. Everything was in an uncertain grey territory and it was so very hard to know what to do, how to proceed with everything. 

It was a while before he could calm down, staring forlorn at the ground between his feet as Mercy continued to hold him, doing her best to comfort him. She was not a bad woman, not at all. She cared too much though, genuinely so, but it made Genji wonder if she handled the death and trauma that came with so many patients involved in combat. Still, she had been there for him despite everything and for that, he could not fault her.

She continued to rub slow circles against his back as he lifted his gaze to meet her own, offering a twisted, tired attempt at a smile, “I'm a mess aren't I?”

“I think anyone would be Genji. I think you are strong though for getting this far,” Mercy said softly, “Will you be okay though? I need to check on other patients and I don't want to leave you alone...” she trailed off,worry touching her gaze. 

Genji merely smiled, “I'll be fine, I promise. I'll just watch some TV, think about some things. Perhaps... get my thoughts more in order,” 

“Are you sure? I could ask if you could come-”Mercy began only for Genji to raise a hand, interrupting her. 

“That won't be necessary, really. I will be fine for a while and, well, for now, I think I need to re-evaluate some things,” he said. Really it was just a polite way of trying to admit that he needed to think long and hard about what he was feeling and what Gabriel was feeling. 

He didn't want their next conversation when it happened to end in an accident. Next time it could be so much worse. 

Mercy regarded him carefully, still with a touch of worry before she nodded, “Very well, but I'll be back soon to make sure you are okay,” she said firmly. 

“I'll be waiting doctor,” Genji sunk back against the pillows of his bed as he watched her go before letting out a sigh, sinking down. 

The game was changing. The stakes were higher and he could lose it all in the next round but for now, he still had something. Gabriel had lied, had protected him. He still cared. He had to still care. Genji clung to that hope stubbornly and forced away that nagging thought wanting to undo that little bit of light in an otherwise bleak situation. 

Gabriel cared. 

Now it was just a matter of finding a way back to where they had left off and to where love once was so easy to admit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay ; w ; I'm hoping to update this fic more often now as I get the free time to work on my long fics again. Once more, sorry for the delay and hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to get out ; w ;

Missions in Overwatch were not as glamorous or exciting as the news reports made them out to be. What was seen on TV was merely the glittered up version of events, gilded lies of how seamless everything had gone with the gritty details about actual casualties and damages incurred significantly underplayed.

Jack Morrison stood tall in every shot, the perfect poster boy for the United Nations and with practiced ease belay worries like any trained political figurehead and the world went on without any idea that everything was not well with Overwatch. That was something Genji had quickly started to pick up on. There was something else going on, like a toxic undercurrent creeping below their feet ready to slowly choke them all out. For now, whatever that poison was, Genji was not sure of nor could he put a finger on what was the cause for his unease.

It was something to contemplate on at the very least in the many quiet moments he had between missions and left only to his own thoughts.

The cyborg sat alone, visor discarded to reveal his usual scowl and hands wrapped about a warm up of what passed as tea for Western cultures. In all actuality, it was a poor excuse of water down flavor that made him miss the refreshing herbal mixtures more popular in his homeland. The sensors on his hands had been recently upgraded and he should have been a bit more pleased he had a basic sense of touch at least somewhere, but the only emotion he seemed capable of now was apathy. Apathy and fake niceties.

It felt just like he was back in the clan.

Genji lifted his gaze idly, watching Ana and Reinhardt chat avidly a few tables away. At the table next to them, the Lacroix pair sat, leaned in close speaking softly, gentle smiles tugging at their features and small laughs shared. That sight alone sent a fleeting pang through Genji's chest as well as a shiver of jealously. 

It was so obvious they were in love. Happy with each other, sharing conversations and little secrets as if the whole world didn't exist. It was a feeling he once knew well. The cyborg let out a sigh, dropping his gaze back to his tea and pushing those feelings aside with a now well practiced ease and repeated the mantra he had taken upon himself. 

He didn't care. He didn't care and he was going to move on as soon as Gabriel officially dropped him. They had still not spoken since he broke the Blackwatch Commander's ribs but that was more due to the sudden swell of missions in both Overwatch and Blackwatch. The missions of both though weren't matching up like they use to and there seemed to be a great deal of miscommunication lingering between the two. That undercurrent of wrongness was wrapping its thin fingers into every division it seemed.

“Your tea is going to get cold.”

Genji didn't look up at the familiar voice of McCree, “It does not smell all to appetizing to begin with.”

A sigh and then a sudden shake of the bench as the cowboy plopped down next to him with a tray of greasy American food that made Genji cringe just a bit. Oh he missed eating a lot of things, but the food of America, covered in curdled milk slop called cheese and other assortments of strange things was not one of those missed flavors. McCree idly picked up his fork stabbing it into the mess before him with all the grace of a barbarian as he gave a shrug. 

“Could talk to Ana. She's got better quality stuff so I heard, if you are really into tea drinking and all. Don't want to assume nothing,” he said before taking a large bite of his food.

“I'd rather not,” Genji returned with a shrug, “She seems busy.”

“She always has time for agents and honestly Genji, you could be a bit more social. Everyone wonders about you, you know? I mean, the only reason we are sort of friends is because I kind of force my way into your personal space,” McCree said glancing at the cyborg.

Again, Genji merely shrugged, hands still wrapped about the cup of tea, “I'm not in a particular mood to make friends. You are just annoying but the good kind of annoying.”

He was like a younger brother really if Genji had been only that fortunate to be born first. Not a bad thing no, but that familiar feeling just made a tightness sweep over his body and memories of his own brother, of Hanzo, and all the good times they shared mixed with those darker times in their history overwhelmed him, always leading to that final moment, that last panicked look his brother gave while grasping for him.

Genji closed his eyes, posture tensing as he pushed those thoughts away. He was dead to his family and his family was dead to him. Hatred burned so keenly still and it was so much easier to blame them for everything that had happened to him. Hanzo though, he wanted to hate him so much. Yet McCree and his spirited personality that simultaneously was aggravatingly laid-back reminded Genji of all the reasons he could never hate his brother.

That alone was probably why he tried to avoid McCree's friendship despite the tenacious pursuit of the cowboy to try and get him to be more social.

“Well, I guess that is better than Gabriel's description of me. He's been in a damn right awful mood!” Jesse grumbled. “Like worse than usual. Not that usual stoic stickler for rules with a stick up his ass sort of thing, he's getting honest to goodness mean.”

Genji gave a vague nod but that was something he already knew. He already felt the sudden growing anger that was not his own through that bond he shared with the commander. The dragon practically sang of that rancor as it writhe throughout his body. The dragon could sense the blackness sinking into the Blackwatch commander. Whatever was moving through Overwatch and rotting it out from the inside was sinking claws deep into the man.

Genji found it so much harder to try and ignore what was becoming of Gabriel Reyes. 

“I'm worried. He won't talk to anyone. Just closes up tighter and tighter. No jokes, no smiles, hell, he and Jack are fighting more and more,” McCree let out a sigh. “Not to mention, it seems like, I don't know, something wrongs right?”

“Why ask me? I'm part of this organization too,” Genji drawled.

The cowboy gave a faint laugh, “Yeah well, pardon me if this sounds offensive, but you seem like you are probably the most trustworthy because you literally don't give a shit and clearly are an outside still, looking in,” the blackwatch agent looked down to his food as he swirled is fork in the mash, “You don't seem like you are part of whatever is going on.”

Genji chuckled and gave another shrug, “A fair point and an accurate one,” He paused before glancing to McCree, “Has your commander been keeping busy?”

“He isn't sleeping right if that's what you are asking. Just works and works and works like he's got nothing better in life. Sneaking out for days or weeks at a time,” McCree let out a sigh, shoulders hunching, “I don't like it.”

The cyborg idly tapped a finger against the side of tea, biting his lip. Again, feelings warred inside of him with one side pleased that Gabriel was not doing well, a sliver of spite that just wanted him to keep wallowing but a larger part wanted to seek him out and try and offer comfort just like how Gabriel had offered to him when they first met. It would be a chance to prove that he could help him just as much as he had been helped emotionally.

Still some savage little voice was laughing. How could he help put someone back together when he was nothing more than a broken husk of man himself?

Hope though was a powerful and all consuming motivator and Genji found himself rising to his feet, earning him a surprised look from McCree, “You didn't finish your tea.”

“You can have it if you want,” Genji responded, tone amused, “I just remembered something I need to do now.”

“Fine, fine I get you. Don't want to sit next to me,” McCree let out a sigh, but followed the gesture with a wide grin, “But don't think that means I'm giving up on pulling you out of your shell Shimada!”

“Oh I know you won't give up. You have an awfully tenacious personality,” Genji drawled, although he couldn't fight the almost amused tone he held and the bubble of a laughter that managed to find its way out briefly, “I will most likely see you later.”

McCree gave a nod and lifted his can of soda in salute, “Take care Shimada.” 

 

Honestly, Genji wasn't sure what he was convinced he was going to be able to do. He wanted to help, that much was certain, but in this case, helping wasn't going to be just showing up and hoping his shining personality was going to be the cure all for everything. If life was easier, that probably would work. If his life really was some sort of romantic comedy, just being together would be all that was needed.

The reality of the situation though was that neither of them had spoken since the last incident.

Genji's pace began to slow and eventually he was at a sluggish walk, practically dragging his feet as whatever bout of sudden desire and hope waned.

“What am I doing?” the question came out quickly, mumbled under his breath in Japanese. 

What he was doing was stalking off all heroically towards the Blackwatch offices, briefly forgetting he still didn't have clearance to go in and the security guard had him on their local watch to not let in. He had been all set to slam open Gabriel's door, stalk up to the man and-

And most likely apologize profusely while becoming a complete mess although he desperately wished he had some of that old confidence of his to try and sweep Gabriel off his feet and carry him off like some charming prince. He could physically do it now but emotionally it would probably be an awkward moment of both of them wanting to simultaneously run and cry at the same time.

A loud sigh almost escaped Genji, only paused when he heard someone scuffling along grumbling under their breath. At first he thought it Jack Morrison. In the recent days, the man had become more and more stressed and more prone to rambling as he stalked the hallways, squinting tiredly at some new fiasco he was getting reports on. 

Fate though was playing her hand today as the person to turn the corner wasn't Jack, but Gabriel.

“You look like shit.” 

In a moment, Gabriel was looking up at Genji, blinking like a man suddenly pulled from a daze, clearly not having expected anyone to speak to him. He didn't look good, eyes sunken in, a tired look surrounding him, and an almost sickly appearance as if he was losing weight with how his clothes were hanging a little looser off him. The entire sight cracked through the apathy that had surrounded Genji in mere seconds. 

Still, there was no anger, no frowning from Gabriel. Only a touch of a small, awkward smile as he gave a shrug, “Not the first time someone has said that this morning.”

“Probably won't be the last,” Genji attempted a smile but it was hard to even manage that with the elephant standing in the room. 

He had broken Gabriel's ribs during their last encounter. That meeting had gone completely wrong and they both knew it. Now they stood there, staring at each other like a pair of high school friends getting over a fight and not sure what to say or who should speak first. Gabriel wasn't running at least, not making an excuse to be anywhere but there. At least, Genji supposed, that was some good news.

“I'm sorry about your ribs. I don't feel like I deserve your pardon though for the action and yet you gave it. You lied about it to Mercy,” Genji murmured, looking down at his feet, “Even though I don't think she believed you.”

“She's young, but sharp,” Gabriel paused before letting out a sigh, “And I probably deserved having my ribs broken in that day. You were....right. About a lot of what you said.”

That admittance didn't bring Genji any comfort. If anything, it made the sharp pang of guilt rise up with a bristle of discontent. Gabriel didn't give into things like that or even admit he was wrong. He was powerful, so sure in his ways, a confident arrogance that bordered on unbelievable at times, but that certainty was a comfort. That strength and firm resolve that could keep him grounded no matter what happened in life. 

What Gabriel had just said lacked all of that.

Something was wrong. Genji could practically feel it in the air like a bad pulse of electricity tickling at his every nerve. 

“You were right about a lot of things as well,” Genji began slowly, eyes narrowing just a bit, “It was a trying time for all of us.”

“Trying time for me? Sure,” Gabriel snorted, casting his gaze aside, a scowl already starting to reform on his features, “Comparing what I'm going through to you is like me complaining of a papercut while you are well-”

He trailed off, giving an awkward cough as Genji pursed his lips, eyes narrowing slightly, “Not the best analogy to use given what happened,” Genji all bust spat out at last.

Gabriel winced, the scowl dropping again, “Sorry.”

 

Genji couldn't keep the sigh from slipping out of him as he looked away. Neither of them spoke and the silence grated at Genji's nerves more than anything else ever could. They could barely speak to one another. They could barely get out one solitary sentence that sounded even for a moment like they were- like they had been something. Something beautiful.

Something absolutely perfect.

A bitter laugh escaped Genji and he felt the smile tug at his lips although it only showed how much hurt was burning in his chest.

“So this is it? This is how we are now? Can't look at one another, can't talk. It seems that I really did lose more than just my life and body to my my clan's execution,” Genji said, hands curling into fists, “This is how it all ends then.”

“Genji,” the sound of his name had him looking up at last to look at Gabriel, meeting the other man's gaze at last. 

Gabriel looked so tired, his eyes sunken and tinged red at the corners from an obvious lack of sleep. His entire being seemed to sag forward as if every waking bit of energy was there to just keep him standing. He almost looked a touch older as well and something else was there, something darker in his eyes, a touch of some corruption and danger that had Genji's heart seizing.

“Genji,” Gabriel repeated his name, before letting out a tired sigh, looking away, “I haven't been good for you from the start. Especially now. I am not the person to comfort you. Not even the best person to help you through this. You need someone better, someone like-”

It was all without thought really that Genji stepped forward and pulled Gabriel into a hug, burying his face against the man's shoulder. His synthetic fingers curled against the fabric of Gabriel's uniform, keeping the embrace firm. There was something wrong. He knew it, could feel it. All this time Gabriel had always been the one holding him up but now? Now it was obvious that Gabriel needed someone to prop him up just as much.

Something was very, very wrong. 

“Stop telling me who I need, who I deserve. I know I deserve the best. I never doubted for a minute that I deserved to be unhappy with someone,” Genji quietly said, eyes still closed. “I was never unhappy with you. Even now, I'm not unhappy with you, not upset with you. It's the situation Gabriel. Is everything else. It's everyone else. There is nothing wrong with us.”

He pulled away, looking up into the tired gaze of Gabriel and felt a flutter of something familiar. Those hard, cold eyes were softened at the edges, almost fond again, just like they were those lazy mornings waking up wrapped up in each other. Genji's hands rose to cup Gabriel's face, “Why can't it just be us again?”

Gabriel was silent, his gaze flicking away, a small gesture that had the hurt in Genji's chest. He looked away dropping his hands only to jolt as he felt hands close about his wrists. The action jerked the cyborg's attention downwards. Gabriel held his wrists in a tight grip, like a man grasping onto a lifeline and he still didn't say a word. There was a tremor though in his body, as if there was something he wanted to say.

Genji swallowed as he looked up, confusion in his expression and a question already forming on his lips. The words though did not get the change to pass his lips before another pair were upon him. The kiss was not passionate nor lust-filled with any sort of hunger. It was soft, gentle, almost pleading. It was an apology. A softly whispered request to stay.

Within moments, Genji was kissing back, lips parted already as he practically shuddered with a relief he hadn't known he was waiting all this time for. There was no hesitation in the action from Gabriel. He kissed him just as he had before as if nothing had changed. He kissed as if everything was still as it were and that Genji was still as he was, not shying from the feel of the synthetic lower lip against his own.

They pulled away, a slight hitch of a pant in Gabriel's breath that had Genji smiling just a bit, a coy little twitch of the lips as he shifted his hands now to hold onto those of the man in front of him. Gabriel returned the smile, tired, but for once, so very honest.

“I've missed you,” the words that Genji needed to hear finally fell from Gabriel's lips, not the guilt or whatever blackness was starting to haunt his lover, “I've missed you even though I know I don't deserve you.”

“You've put up with me at my worse. I think you've proven you can handle me,” Genji answered, a long since missing playful tone starting to come through.

That is when Gabriel laughed and it felt like everything was breaking down, all that hurt and misgivings just vanishing as if that single sound had the very thunder of gods behind it. Genji's smile grew and for the first time in a long while, he felt a glimmer of who he was creep back in as he leaned in to kiss Gabriel again in mid laugh, as if trying to capture that sound in his own body. 

The second kiss was different, almost playful, but filled with a sense of relief. Genji found his hands snaking around Gabriel's neck as he stood up on his tip-toes to better press into the kiss. A muffled laugh escaped him though as he felt Gabriel's hands move from his hips to his rear, cupping it some to assist in boosting Genji up into the kiss some. 

Just like how they use to kiss before everything had gone wrong. 

They pulled apart again, just enough for another breath although Gabriel leaned in, pressing his forehead against the metal protector, not seeming to mind the cold of the metal pressed against his own skin, “You busy today?”

“Jack tends to keep me hopping. Meetings most of the rest of the day,” Genji murmured back, “You?”

“My schedule just got cleared for the day,” Gabriel responded, that confident, almost predatory smirk back in place, “And I think the same can be said of you. If Jack wants to complain, I'll tell him the paperwork for your transfer to Blackwatch is on its way.”

A bubble of warmth erupted in Genji's chest at that news and he couldn't fight the smile that was blooming across his face, “Took you long enough to put me in the right organization for my talents. I was beginning to think I would have to start pestering Jack until he broke,” Genji drawled, a smirk spreading across his lips. “So is this how you greet all your new transfers to Blackwatch then?”

“Only the cute ones,” Gabriel answered with a smirk and brief caress of Genji's cheek. 

He felt like himself as Gabriel started to pull him by the hands towards the living quarters. He swore he could feel the warmth of Gabriel's hands as clear as day again and he most certainty felt the thrum of his heart in his chest, pounding a mile a minute as blood thundered to ever part of his body. That giddy jolt of adrenaline that came with the sudden fire of long since snuffed out arousal. 

Honestly it was refreshing to know that he still could feel that burn of desire, physically and emotionally, so strongly within himself. 

It was almost a blur how fast they got to Gabriel's room and the door was shutting behind them and then they were crashing back together as a savage hunger started to rear up. It wasn't lust so much as just that need to feel, to touch another person. Ever since he had gone through with the surgery to become a cyborg, Genji hadn't indulged in any sort of touch, not even his own out of a singular disgust and contempt about how he looked. Now it was if Gabriel couldn't touch him enough, slipping hands under the clothes Genji had put on to try and hide what he was, feeling up every inch of metal and synthetic mesh with just as much vigor as if it had been flesh.

Genji could barely feel any of it but he remembered how it had once felt. Just the sensation of pressure alone was enough for his mind to remember those sensations. He could convince himself that it was all real as his lips pressed against Gabriel's as he fell back onto the bed, wanting to have the other as close as he could.

More. He needed more. 

Every kiss, every brush of hands that never wavered away from all that was before him had Genji burning with a nervous fear and giddy excitement. This was all about acceptance. If Gabriel could accept what he had become at last than maybe, just maybe-

Gabriel pulled back again, this time panting as he loomed over Genji, eyes fixated on his partner's face, “Is there any new protocols I have to adhere to or-” he asked, a tad bit awkward.

Genji just let out a laugh, squirming away just a bit before dropping his hands to the hem of the uniform he wore, “I am not sure. It is not something I asked Mercy about. Asking if your dick still works isn't usually something you discuss with your doctor,”

The flush on Gabriel's face just had Genji snorting all over again and pausing in his endeavors to get undress to cup the other man's cheeks, “Are you going to be awkward about this? I'm not fragile. In fact, I'm actually afraid I might break bones or something when I-”

“You can grab onto the headboard then,” Gabriel drawled, “If you are so worried about that but I think I've already proven I would let you break my bones any day of the week.”

That earned an embarrassed flush from Genji and a slight grimace as he looked away, “I'm sorry about that. I really wasn't sure how to control my-”

“Does it matter anymore?” Gabriel asked, leaning in, “We both were being stupid as all hell. We both are being stupid as all hell right now jumping into bed without talking all this out further, but you know what? I'd rather be stupid as all hell with you than just keep...hurting.”

This time the kiss was rough and Genji groaned into it,one hand already tugging away the hat Gabriel wore so he could comb his fingers through the short hair there. The kiss though didn't last long before they were both pulling away and hands were now tugging at clothes, desperate now to be bare. The uniform was tossed aside to join Gabriel's own clothes on the floor and cold, slightly warmed metal was pressed against heated skin. The chill that ran up Gabriel's spine was not lost on Genji and he paused, glancing away, almost embarrassed as misgivings about his body finally started to creep into the encounter.

“Things are going to be a little different. I know metal is not-” Genji began only to be cut off by a hand on his mouth. 

“If I'm going to be chafing tomorrow, I could care less,” Gabriel drawled, a slight tug of a smirk at the corner of his lips.“Because you'll be limping at least and sharing in the afterglow.”

That brought a flush to Genji's cheeks and a muffled laugh erupted from him. He turned his head to pull away from the hand on his mouth, quirking an eyebrow, “You don't have to tell such lies to make me feel better about what I am.”

“You've never apologized for who you were Genji. Don't start now,” Gabriel responded before his gaze dropped to the junction of Genji's hips. 

He sat back on his heels a bit as both hands moved to feel about Genji's crotch, poking and prodding at the seams and synthetic muscle of the cyborg's thighs. Genji squirmed, biting his lip and feeling another hot flush of shame rush through him as he wasn't even sure there was something there. A moment of panic surged in Genji's chest at the thought that during the surgery that the doctors had saw fit to castrate him like a court eunuch or the like. His discomfort must have shown because Gabriel had leaned in again, capturing his lips in a brief peck.

“Shhhh. Its okay. We don't have to do anything if you aren't comfortable,” Gabriel assured him, nuzzling lightly.

“I don't think I can do anything,” Genji whispered back hoarsely fighting back that panic, “I just, I really don't know what is there.”

“Don't you have to, you know,” Gabriel made a small gesture to the bathroom of his room, “That sort of thing?”

Genji was sure his face was turning a new shade of red all its own at the question, “I ah, water waste?” he managed out in a faint voice, “But that is... it doesn't come out- it sort of just comes out automatically like some- it is sort of like taking a piss summons my dick and it vanishes afterwards,” Genji grimaced a bit. “I don't know how it honestly works and I don't think you want to watch me piss myself to figure out how my biology functions.”

Just saying that out loud had Genji throwing an arm over his face, letting out a whine, “I've fucked up the mood, haven't I?”

“Really the only thing I want is you. Just you. Just lying around with you,” Gabriel murmured, glancing away almost as if he was embarrassed to admit he wanted something so tame.

“I mean, I don't want to disappoint you-” Genji began only to be interrupted by Gabriel's hand back over his mouth.

“You aren't disappointing me. I'm more disappointed in the medical staff for not taking the time actually explain your own body to you,” he grumbled before shifting to lay down beside Genji, one arm curling about the cyborg. “I'm more than happy with just this.”

Genji worried his lower lip a bit even as he cuddled in closer towards Gabriel, “You sure? I mean we-”

“Genji? You are talking to much,” Gabriel murmured, turning to press his face into Genji's neck, “And it isn't the kind of talk I find endearing. Stammering apologizes isn't like you.”

That earned a soft laugh from Genji, “What would you do if I said I was sorry for apologizing so much?”

“Shut you up before you could finish,” was Gabriel's response as he pressed a soft kiss to the synthetic tendons of Genji's neck. “You're fine. You'll figure this out.”

“I'll ask Mercy. No doubt tomorrow she is going to want to speak with me if I'm claiming some malfunction for skipping out on important meetings,” Genji drawled, quirking his fingers in air quotes with a roll of his eyes. 

Gabriel gave a chuckle, “The meetings aren't that bad, Shimada,” 

“Oh, they are that bad when you are not told anything because you get treated like a child or a liability,” Genji grumbled. “They still think I'm going to go back to the clan, as if my brother you know, murdering me, wasn't proof enough that I clearly am not on good terms with my clan,” Genji let out a sigh as he leaned back into the soft pillows of Gabriel's bed, one hand coming up to comb his fingers through his lover's short hair, “It is clear they are afraid of me and want me contained.”

“Afraid of you?” Gabriel asked, leaning into Genji's touch, “Who would be afraid of you?”

“I am a cyborg. They practically built me to be a weapon,” Genji let out a tired, unamused laugh, “I feel like just some sort of monster churned out to be their weapon of war.”

Genji could almost feel a smile against his neck although he doubted it was one that held any sort of happiness or mirth. For a moment, Gabriel remained quiet before letting out a short, soft laugh of his own, “You aren't the only weapon in Overwatch who's said the same thing,” he finally said, the tiredness in his voice more the tinge of a veteran speaking of a more personal experience, “Not the first so called monster they've produced.”

That sense of wrong had returned and Genji found himself frowning and pulling Gabriel closer as if he could somehow erase every hint of that unease settling in. Gabriel's words put him on edge although he couldn't quiet explain why. Something in his tone. 

Every instinct Genji had was whispering that there was something else to be said here but he didn't press it, not when he could just lie with Gabriel again, having him in his arms, and pick up where they had left off.

They could be happy. Everyone had their secrets, some took it to the grave, but everyone had them. It hadn't been a problem in the past, it wasn't a problem now. The only issue now they were both falling apart and trying to put each other back together.

Genji quietly turned his head, planting few kisses against Gabriel's forehead, “We're fine,” he murmured, “We're fine. Its the rest of the world that's not.”

“Maybe. Maybe so,” Gabriel let out a soft sigh, turning to wrap both arms about Genji, pulling him closer, “On another note,metal or not, you make an excellent bed warmer.”

That earned a small bark of laughter from Genji as he turned his head shyly to hide his face against Gabriel's shoulder, “Always with the compliments.”

Gabriel merely chuckled in response as he ran his fingers through Genji's hair gently, “All well deserved compliments. You are still perfect as you were before. Don't ever doubt that. I'm sorry if I made you ever doubt that.”

Genji managed a tight-lipped smile even as he felt Gabriel press a kiss against the top of his head, one of the few places he could still register the sensation of touch. It all felt surreal really, how they were so close right now and yet, he still felt like there was distance between them. A rift had grown, not one of their own making, but of the world around them. The Shimada clan no longer stood between them, but something else was, something else that was creeping its way into Gabriel.

Without thought, Genji wrapped his own arms tighter about Gabriel, holding onto him as if somehow that would be enough to banish away the ghost that seemed to linger in the room, some malevolent spirit that was waiting to strike.

“Can I stay the night with you?” Genji asked quietly.

“Of course. I think we...both need the company tonight.”

Genji merely nodded in response, shifting to settle himself more comfortably against the other man, letting his eyes slide close. At least for now, they had each other and only each other.

For now, he would banish that gnawing worry creeping into his very soul and enjoy just being close once more to the man he loved.


End file.
